Editor: DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, Kittykab
REPEATS?
I used to keep some idea of what links I had run and which ones
might be new to you. Now, after working on lots of issues at a time, I have
no idea if I have run some of these links before. Bear with me,
I'll get on track again - hopefully!
Be careful when surfing the Internet.
I have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in
working order as of this posting.
Always be aware of the risks out there and keep current with
your
anti-virus and adware removal software!
If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break
my heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send
an email
to me at aol and your request will be handled promptly.
Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin'
it's time to ROCK AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be
a wild ride!
"Welcome back Deb!!!!!!!!
Just a note to say as always you were missed!
Was so happy to see your email today and
the issue was great! Life just ain't the same
without Rockin' and Rollin' and you!
Hugs and Love,
Patty"
dallas229
"My Dearest Debbie,
My sympathy for your problem-
I know you will resolve it quickly-
THANKS FOR ALL THE Good stuff,
Fondly,
Joe Doc Cestari"
docjrx
"Good to see you back.......thanks"
Chuck64male
"We’ll all be here anxiously waiting on another issue of your jokes
when you get your computer up and running again!!"
Hugs-Cari :0)
BlondeAngelEyz3
v v v v v
"It's very hard for firefighters to get them under control, because
the vegetation up in northern California, where the fires are,
is about 40 percent marijuana plants. Support crews are supposed
to be bringing in supplies, but they keep bringing in Doritos and
chocolate milkshakes"
Jimmy Kimmel
An attractive young woman was in the doctor's office. The doctor
said, "I'll be doing a vaginal examination now."
She said, "Oh, doctor, is that really necessary?"
Boy, howdy, did he get mad!
"Listen!" he said, "who is the chiropractor here -- you or
me?"
v v v v v
Is Your House Making You Sick? - AOL Health
Not everything is sweet in your home sweet home. In fact, you may be exposing yourself to toxins,
allergens and irritants found in everything from your home's construction materials and
ventilation to the beauty products and cooking materials you use on a regular basis.
Here are some household culprits you may not have considered.
v v v v v
According to a new book called
"The Hardness Factor," carrots,
bananas and cucumbers are just as effective as Viagra for men.
Actually, depending on the size of the carrot, banana or cucumber,
you might not even need the man.
Jay Leno
v v v v v
An old doctor and his nurse were on the
train, going to a Medical
Conference. Opposite them was a man furiously scratching his elbow.
"I wonder what's the matter with him?" asked the nurse.
"He's a patient of mine and, in confidence, I can tell you that
he suffers badly from hemorrhoids," replied the doctor.
"Well, why he's scratching his elbow?" asked the puzzled nurse."
"Oh, he's Obama, and he doesn't know his ass from his elbow."
v v v v v
submitted by: indianagene
v v v v v
Q. Our daughter has announced her plans
to marry a pleasant enough
young man. Are we expected to shell out for an engagement party
as well as for the wedding itself?
A. If she is not pregnant and has succeeded in extracting a diamond
ring from a solvent heterosexual, quit bitching.
v v v v v
"This week Starbucks is
unveiling a new drink called a
Vivanno. Apparently Vivanno is the Italian word for 'You just
wasted $8.'"
Conan O'Brien
v v v v v
Harry was never shy about reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.
"My teammates used to call me James Bond," he was telling his
friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."
"That and he batted .007," his wife added.
v v v v v
Is Your Date Into You? - Personals.aol.com/articles
Lots of dating advice for women and men
v v v v v
"Today's New York Times once again
raised the issue that John
McCain may not be eligible to be president because he's not a
natural born U.S. citizen. Apparently, McCain was born outside
the 13 colonies."
Conan O'Brien
v v v v v
When my wife, Sonya, and I were having dinner at her parents' house,
her mother complained about the extra weight she had gained. My father-in-law
gallantly said, "You should put on a little extra weight as you grow older so that,
if something happens, you have it to fall back on."
Sonya eyed her father's paunch. "Apparently," she said,
"you're expecting to fall forward."
v v v v v
The Top
9 Differences If the Mob Ran the Government
9> State of the Union address replaced with annual Dispensing of Favors.
8> Out: IRS.
In: The Federal Bureau of Our Cut.
7> New job: Secretary of a Little Bit-a Dis and a Little Bit-a Dat.
6> Taxes will be paid in cash and picked up by two gentlemen in
Members Only jackets.
5> Justice Antonin Scalia delivers the opinion of the court AND
the dissenting opinion in ALL cases.
4> Osama bin Laden sleeps with the fishes.
3> "I *said* we'd be greater as liberators. Liberators, capice,
Maliki?"
2> Dick Cheney still shoots you in the face, but later Bruno and
No-Nose come by to finish the job.
and the Number 1 Difference If the Mob Ran the Government...
1> State funeral for Mr. Francis Albert Sinatra.
v v v v v
submitted by: SHAYNABUTTONS
YouTube - Lets see the Dog Whisperer do this!!
Click to Give @ The Animal Rescue Site
Click every day - make a difference - it's free!
v v v v v
Items on a Strip Club Menu
G-String Beans
Lap Dance Pudding
Naughty, Spanked Lobster
Fellatio Alfredo
New England Man-Chowder (made fresh daily in the VIP room)
Silicon-Stuffed Breast of Chicken
Banana Cream Pies
Shish-K-Y-Bobs
Jiggly Puff-Pastries
$50 Nachos
Cameltoe Soup
Crabs Etouffee
Poached Salmon with a Lemon-Dildo Sauce
Hush Pussies
Short 'n' Curly Fries
CoozeCooze
v v v v v
TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
v v v v v
Each successful click will change the
color.
http://mazzanet.id.au/ball.php
Millionaire
http://www.millionairetv.com/game/index.html
Daily Jig-Saw Puzzle
http://www.jigzone.com/puzzles/daily-jigsaw
FIND A WORD
http://www.castlemountains.com/wordfind/wordfind120.html
v v v v v
TICK WARNING!
I hate it when people forward bogus warnings, and I have
even done it myself a couple times unintentionally...but
this one is real, and it's important. So please send this
warning to everyone on your e-mail list.
If someone comes to your front door saying they are
checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you
to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms
up, DO NOT DO IT!! THIS IS A SCAM!! They only want to
see you naked.
I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.
v v v v v
A loud scream comes from the bedroom
and the husband runs
in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
His wife yells, "That guy just fucked me twice!"
He says, "Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he
fucked you once?"
She answered, "Because I thought it was you -- until he
started the second time."
v v v v v
Understanding Bluetooth Technology
Many electronic devices are now incorporating Bluetooth technology
to allow
wireless communication with other Bluetooth devices. Before using
Bluetooth,
it is important to understand what it is, what security risks it
presents,
and how to protect yourself.
What is Bluetooth?
Bluetooth is a technology that allows devices to communicate with
each other
without cables or wires. It is an electronics
"standard," which means that
manufacturers that want to include this feature have to
incorporate specific
requirements into their electronic devices. These specifications
ensure that
the devices can recognize and interact with other devices that use
the
Bluetooth technology.
Many popular manufacturers are making devices that use Bluetooth
technology.
These devices include mobile phones, computers, and
personal digital
assistants (PDAs). The Bluetooth technology relies on short-range
radio
frequency, and any device that incorporates the technology can
communicate
as long as it is within the required distance. The technology is
often used
to allow two different types of devices to communicate with each
other. For
example, you may be able to operate your computer with a wireless
keyboard,
use a wireless headset to talk on your mobile phone, or add an
appointment
to your friend's PDA calendar from your own PDA.
Security concerns will be in next week's issue
v v v v v
submitted by: jacksinfla
Hey, I usually don't pass along these 'add your name' lists that appear in my email,
but this one is too important.
This one has been circulating for months and months. Please do not delete ...
if you don't want to sign, at least keep it going !
To show your support for Obama and encourage him on his run for
President of the United States in 2008,
please add your name to the rapidly growing list below and
send it on to your entire email list.
1. Michelle Obama
2. Oprah
3. Jane Fonda
4.
v v v v v
The Top 9 Duties of a Mob
Veterinarian
9> Fix the records so it shows Fido was in your office for his
annual check-up when Jimmy Hoffa disappeared.
8> Collect stool pigeon samples.
7> Drug the ceremonial doves for rival families' weddings so they
crap all over the brides.
6> Teach Fido how to bury bones, and bury them good, capice?
5> Fix race horses.
4> Collect the monthly testicle protection money.
3> Track how many of his nine lives Mittens has left and remind
him what he needs to do if he wants to keep them.
2> Must give animals a big kiss before euthanizing them.
and the Number 1 Duty of a Mob Veterinarian...
1> Take the gun, leave the canary.
v v v v v
submitted by: HOOSIER_HUNK
Crystal Cave of the Giants - Discovery of the Largest Crystals on Earth
Wow
submitted by: jacksinfla
Let's break OPEC's monopoly
These resources can tell you how we can do it.
Knowledge is power
submitted by: BADVETTE87
Type in your first name on top line
Second name on second line and then click on the link
at the bottom - left - then watch
submitted by: ron_stott
Had to run this one again - very cool (move your mouse around)
Air quality has been declining since the advent of the industrial age. And for many people,
poor air quality causes health complications. So, maybe you're wondering about air quality where you live.
At the American Lung Association's Web site, you can find out. Just click on your state.
You'll see a list of counties. You'll see how the air quality stacks up.
You can see if the air poses any health risks to you.
Buying home theater components can be confusing. But there is one thing that is much more confusing.
That's using the right cables to set up your home theater system.
There are just too many ways to go wrong with the setup.
Well, you can get step-by-step help setting up your system.
It doesn't matter what components you have! Just visit Wirewize.
You begin by selecting the different components of your theater system.
You'll get instructions for connecting everything together. Diagrams will help.
Wirewize will even tell you what cables to use. kkomando.com
Beautiful wallpaper for your desktop - some are new!
v v v v v
Q: What's the difference between men and horny alley cats
A: Men are taller.
v v v v v
A Texan cowboy was
riding down a country road in Texas.
A sign in front of a seafood restaurant read:
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL - Lobster Tail and Beer
He got down, parked his horse in the car parking lot, started
walking towards hotel wiping his lips with tongue, cleaning his
hands on his ass, and said, "Lord, thank you, you gave me my three
favorite things today."
v v v v v
You might be anal-retentive if...
* you eat the M&Ms in color order.
* you fold your dirty clothes before putting them in the hamper.
* you have to have all boxes in the kitchen facing the same way
and in order by size.
* you have all your canned goods organized by type, flavor, and use.
* and they're all facing the front.
* all you books, CDs, and movies have to be alphabetical order.
* you alphabetize your spices.
* you actually bother trying to convince someone that the 3rd
millennium hasn't begun yet
* you organize your closet by color, season, and fabric.
* you flame every person who sent you email because the emails
weren't spelled correctly or grammatically correct.
* you remove the tires to wash inside the wheel-wells of your vehicle.
* you collect the little postcards in magazine issues for recycling.
* you're on a "calorie-counting" diet and you count the calories
in the hot sauce on your "Big Beef Burrito Supreme"
v v v v v
Nishere.com: Stephen King's "N." - An original video series
Original video series! Check it out!
The Art of Keeping Secrets
by Patti Callahan Henry
"Since a plane crash killed her husband two years ago, Annabelle Murphy has
found solace in raising her two children. Just when she thinks the grief is behind her,
she receives the news that the wreckage of the small plane has been discovered—
and that her husband did not die alone. He was with another woman.
Suddenly, Annabelle is forced to question
everything she once held true.
Sophie Parker knows the woman who was on that plane.
A dolphin researcher who has lived a quiet life,
Sophie has never let anyone get too close. But when Annabelle shows up on Sophie's
doorstep full of painful questions, both women must confront their
intertwining pasts—and find the courage to face the truth"
Oh yeah -- good book! I definitely recommend it.
I found it interesting and couldn't put
it down.
v v v v v
Two widows were visiting in the lounge
of the Seniors'
Center. "Well," one said, "Mary has just cremated her third
husband."
"Yeah, that's the way it goes,"
replied the other
widow. "Some of us can't find a husband, and others have husbands to
burn!"
v v v v v
The little boy asked, "Mommy,
where do babies come from?"
His mother replied, "The stork brings them."
The boy, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the storks?
Did you hear the report that the
leading manufacturer of imported
vibrators is a Japanese firm that now calls itself Genital Electric?
v v v v v
v v v v v
My neighbor who likes to brag once told
me a story about one of
his past flings.
"I dated this smokin', big boned Portuguese girl once and she was
an animal. Believe or not, she had a four inch clit! And boy did
she ever love oral sex. That's actually all we ever did. She would
never let me bang her."
I just never had the heart to tell him.
v v v v v
The best thing about going the wrong way on a one-way street?
Hey, no stop signs!
v v v v v
A mother asked her small son what he
would like for his birthday.
"I'd like a little brother," the boy said.
'"Oh my, that's such
a big wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little brother?
For someone to play with? You know he would not be able to play
with you til he is a few years old, and by then you'll be 6."
"Well," said the boy, "the real reason I want a brother is that
there's only so much I can blame on the dog."
v v v v v
v v v v v
The new ensign was standing his first night
watch on the bridge
of a destroyer. Far out on the horizon, the USS New Jersey was
conducting a night gunnery exercise.
The ensign, seeing the flashes of light from the battleship,
ran excitedly up to the signal bridge and pointed out, "Morse
code!" coming from the other ship.
Ensign: "What are they saying? What are they saying?"
Signalman: "Boom. Boom."
v v v v v
BAKED POTATO SKINS
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
INGREDIENTS:
small baking potatoes (4 to 5 in. long)
1/4 cup butter or margarine
1/4 teaspoon paprika
pinch of pepper
DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Scrub potatoes, pat dry,
and rub skins lightly with a little of the butter. Pierce
potatoes in several places with a fork. Bake potatoes
until tender when pierced (45 minutes to 1 hour). When
cool enough to handle, cut in halves lengthwise and scoop
out potato, leaving a thin shell about 1/8 inch thick.
Reserve potato for other dishes. Place skins on a baking
sheet. Melt butter in a small pan with paprika and white
pepper. Stir. Brush insides of potato skins with butter
mixture. Bake potato skins until crisp and golden (18 to
20 minutes).
Extras: For variety, try adding grated Cheddar cheese,
crumbled bacon, green onion, or chives.)
Yield: Serves 6
v v v v v
Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and
went skiing.
Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rumbling:
moments later a sheet of snow came crashing
toward him.
Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the
avalanche hit.
Just as fortunately, he had matches with him
and was able to light a fire.
Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a rescue team was
sent to search for him.
After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to
investigate.
Poking his head into the entrance, one of the rescuers yelled,
"Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It's the
Red Cross."
Bristling, the harried executive called back, "Get lost. I gave at the
office!"
v v v v v
I have an A: drive and a C: drive. Why don't I have a B: drive?
Did the programmers at Microsoft skip kindergarten?
A:
Ah, don't fear, those MS programmers had a full education.
The B: drive used to be (and still is I guess) reserved for a 5 1/4 inch floppy drive.
You remember ‘em... They were the huge, bendy disks that didn't hold much and
were made of a kind of cardboard plasticy material.
Fortunately for us, they have gone the way of the 286, but their drive designation lives on –
you know, just in case they make a comeback some day
(maybe Elvis will bring them with him when he returns along with a handful of Beta video cassettes).
If you really must have a B: drive, you can always add a second 3.5 floppy drive to the mix.
Now, I have no idea why you would actually want to do such a thing,
but you can if you want.
Oh, and before you ask, no you normally can't assign a CD, Zip,
or hard drive with a “B” designation –
unless you have a very cool BIOS that let's you do that type of trick.
Steve - worldstart.com
v v v v v
submitted by: BADVETTE87
The Old Alphabet
A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now...The New Alphabet
As for arthritis;
Bs the bad back,
Cs the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure - I'd rather it be low;
I is for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L is for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few.
Just give me a pill, and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T is for Tinnitis; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have -- in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed
v v v v v
Aromatherapy offers gentle assistance to help you rebuild your
emotional equilibrium after a stress-filled day. Just inhaling
the scents of lavender and sandalwood increases the alpha waves
in your brain. These waves decrease all the miscellaneous, idle
chatter that runs through your mind and encourages you to relax.
The language spoken in gardening circles can be quirky. For example, dirt isn't
just dirt, it's soil.
Dirt is what you make mud pies with. Soil, on the other hand, is full of promise and good nutrients.
And some gardenholics tend to go on and on about plant names.
You may catch them at the nursery asking,
"Which Latin name is most correct, the old one or the new one?"
And some gardening terms can sound downright scary, as in
"Watch out! That fertilizer is chelated!"
Designing a Garden for Fragrance
Of all the senses, smell most strongly evokes memory. The strong perfume of sweet peas,
or the spicy smell of nasturtiums can bring back an acute
longing for a favorite garden from the past.
The flower fragrances you prefer are as personal as the perfume or
aftershave lotion you choose to wear.
Plant generously so that you have plenty of flowers and leaves to pick
for bouquets and bowls of potpourri.
Even a few sprays of the unassuming common mignonette (Reseda odorata)
can scent a room or front porch.
As a rule, choose the more old-fashioned varieties of flowers,
which usually tend to be more
fragrant than modern hybrids; you may need to order
seed packets to find the older,
most strongly scented varieties.
v v v v v
There are almost as many “acronym
diets” out there as there are people to push
them. There’s the DASH
diet (Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension), the
BRAT Diet (Bananas, Rice,
Applesauce and Toast), and even the BARF Diet
(Biologically
Appropriate Raw Food). Okay, that last one is for dogs, but
you
get the idea.
The Top 8 Acronyms for
Diets We'd Rather Not Be On
8> LEAF: Laxatives, Emetics and Fiber
7> DISH: Damn, I'm Still Hungry!
6> TOAST: Tasteless Organs and Slaughterhouse Trimmings
5> PITA: Pretend It Tastes Acceptable
4> OSHA: Oy! Steamed Halvah Again?
3> PISSED: Permitted Intake: Sub-Survival, Early Demise
2> E-FILE: Every Food I Like Excluded!
and the Number 1 Acronym for Diets We'd Rather Not Be On...
1> ELEMENTARY: Eat Less, Exercise More; Everybody Needs to
Acknowledge Reality, Y'all!
v v v v v
A man and a woman were attending a
friend's daughter's wedding
reception. When the man returned to their table from his 10th trip to
the open bar, the woman hissed at him, "This is your tenth trip to
the bar! What will people think of you?"
The man replied, "Nothing.
I told the bartender I was getting the drinks for you."
v v v v v
v v v v v
submitted by: oldwild
Three women: one engaged, one married, and
one a mistress, are chatting
about their relationships and decide to amaze their men....that night all
three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their
eyes
After a few days they meet again.....
The engaged girlfriend said: "The other night, when my boyfriend came back
home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4" stilettos and mask. He said,
"You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night
long."
The mistress stated: "Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was
wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild
sex all night."
The married one then said: "The other night I sent the kids to stay at my
mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos
and mask over my eyes.
My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and
said, "Hey Batman, what's for dinner?"
v v v v v
We were celebrating the 100th
anniversary of our church, and several
former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our
minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the
importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what
the
bishop does?"
There was silence. Finally, one little boy
answered
gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."
v v v v v
Coming Soon: Windows 7? - WorldStart Computer Tips and Computer Help
Windows 7 - Coming Soon?
Well, maybe not as soon as you think, but it is in the works! First of all, allow me to explain what Windows 7 is,
just in case some of you haven't heard about it yet. Basically, Windows 7 is the name of the next big
operating system to come from Microsoft. It will succeed Windows Vista by just a mere three years.
That's right, Microsoft announced last week that Windows 7 is planned for a January 2010 release.
That's only 18 months away. Wow!
v v v v v
The Top 9 Signs Your Shrink
and Your Hairdresser Have Traded
Places
9> When you tell her you like your bangs longer, she asks "What
would your mother think of that?"
8> "So, would you like a Freudian bob or a Jungian pageboy or a
just a Gestalt trim today?"
7> Your requests for "a permanent" and "solution" caused
her to
ask "How long have you been fixated on the Nazis?"
6> You still hate your hair, but now with the antidepressants
that you get when you leave, you feel happier about it.
5> No chair, instead you have to lie down on the couch for your
cut and color.
4> Your stiff, hard beehive hairdo is called "The Penis Envy."
3> Halfway through your blowdry, your hairdresser says "We're
going to have to stop now."
2> As you sit there sobbing, the shrink is drying your tears with
a hairdryer.
and the Number 1 Sign Your
Shrink and
Your Hairdresser Have Traded
Places....
1> After each hypnosis session, you have a nice Brazillian.
v v v v v
In a class, a teacher showed
the students a brick and said,
"Now everybody will tell me what you think about when you see
this brick.""
I think of our heroic toilers who build communism using such bricks," one
student said.
"Good. Now you, Sveta."
"I think about our heroic forefathers who used such bricks as a weapon
when
they fought on barricades during the Revolution."
"Very good. Now you, Peter."
"I think of a pussy."
"And why, permit me to ask, are you thinking of such a thing when I
specifically showed you this brick?"
"No reason, I just always think of pussy."
v v v v v
I see your problem....
Here!
Retirement
Here!
This is WHY you don't cheat ...
Here!
...use it on the leaves!
Here!
Booby trapped
Here!
He'll never hear the end of it from the rest of the herd!
Here!
Wanna ride?
Here!
You & King Kong?
Here!
In the divorce settlement
Here!
Jealous?
Here!
Kissing ass?
Here!
Now why is he pulling them over?
Here!
Redneck breast self-exam
Here!
v v v v v
Rockin' and Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty,
expressed or implied, with regard
to featured products or services.
Results may vary based on operating
systems and other variables beyond our control
v v v v v
Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one
already in the making!
So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place
but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to
keep on rockin'
it's a state of mind
v v v v v
©1999 - 2008 - Deborah Austin - All
rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'
v v v v v
.