Editor: DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, Kittykab

HAD TO HAPPEN

I had someone (not a subscriber) email me after seeing *one* issue of the R&R and

pointed out that the jokes are mostly old ones. Hmmm You know what I find interesting?

It's only the THIRD negative email I have received in nine years! Not bad, eh!?!

(The writer of the email says she'll/he'll submit some things - so yay!)

Yes, I realize some jokes are old but I also know some are very new -- it's ok to laugh

at an old joke again right? I get hundreds of jokes every single day -- I promise all of you

that I am doing the best I can and besides, my memory is shot LOL An old

joke just might be new to you and me right?

On to the stuff you are here for, my friends!

Here are some excellent tips sent in by a community member at large, to help us all avoid getting a dreaded BSOD.

These are not only frustrating, they can also sometimes signal a major failure.

Find your way to the COMPUTER PROBLEM set of links for this one!

Whether you’re here to study anatomy, or here for that quick refresher before an exam, or you’re simply interested in looking at stunning,

state-of-the-art illustrations of human anatomy, WinkingSkull.com is the interactive study aid that is for you!

The link is in the HEALTH section below.

10 pieces of hardware you should replace rather than repair -- find this helpful information
in the COMPUTER TIPS section.

Be careful when surfing the Internet. I have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in

working order as of this posting. Always be aware of the risks out there and keep current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!

If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an email
to me at aol and your request will be handled promptly.

Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to ROCK AND ROLL!

and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild ride!

submitted by: BADVETTE87

My father-in-law had prostate surgery.
We brought him  TO the hospital at 7:30 a.m., and he was operated on at eight.

We were amazed when the hospital called at noon  TO tell us he could go home.

Two months later our beagle, Bo, also had prostate surgery.

When I brought him in, I asked the veterinarian  Mwhat
time I should pick him up.

The vet told me Bo would remain overnight.

'Overnight?'   I said. 'My father-in-law came  home the same day after his
operation!'   The vet looked at me and said, 'Bo's not on Medicare!'

v v v v v

TOASTED PECAN & GRILLED CHICKEN DIJON SLAW

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
1/2 cup honey-dijon mustard
1/3 cup prepared creamy Italian salad dressing
1 10-ounce pkg fresh spinach leaves, cleaned/stems removed
1 small head red cabbage, thinly sliced
1 small red onion, thinly sliced (about 1 1/3 cups)
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 1/2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, grilled
1/2 cup pecans, toasted and chopped coarsely

DIRECTIONS:
Slice chicken breast into thin strips and set aside.
Blend mustard and prepared dressing in small bowl; chill
until serving time. Mix spinach, cabbage and onion in large
bowl. Stir dressing mixture into spinach mixture; toss to
coat. Season with salt and pepper. Arrange on serving plate;
top with grilled chicken and pecans. Serve immediately.

Yield: 6 servings

v v v v v

North Carolina Travel Guide - Hotels, Restaurants, Sightseeing in North Carolina - New York Times Travel

http://travel.nytimes.com/travel/guides/north-america/united-states/north-carolina/overview.html
The Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill region of North Carolina blooms in spring and summer,

when families can bask in the region’s generous offerings.

In the winter you can snow ski in the mountains there and there are so many beaches!

Walt Disney World and Orlando's Best Hotels
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-5590.html?cid=etipArticleLink?cid=articleFeature

One of the cool things about a trip to Orlando is the chance to
stay at one of its great resorts or themed hotels. Here are some
of the best hotels and accommodations in Orlando. More

v v v v v

As I lay face-down and naked, tied up on
the railroad tracks, with the honey poured
over my buttcrack starting to attract ants
and bees, I began to wonder what exactly
is so great about playing Truth or Dare.

Tristan Fabriani

v v v v v

Tom's wife wasn't very attractive, but then he was no oil
painting, either. After the wedding ceremony, Tom asked the
pastor how much the cost was.

"Just give me what you think it is worth to have this lady
for your wife," replied the Reverend.

Tom looked at his wife, and handed the pastor $50.

The pastor looked at Tom's wife and gave him $45 change.

v v v v v

I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always
say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"

Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

v v v v v

The best part of waking up truly *is* Folgers
in your cup -- as long as by "cup" you mean an
athletic supporter, and by "Folgers" you mean
Mrs. Olsen's hot twin granddaughters' hands
imparting the art of Norwegian erotic massage.

Mark D. Sabien

v v v v v

Debsnewsletter - Archives

v v v v v

A guy was on trial for murder and if convicted, would
get the electric chair. His brother found out that a
redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one
to bribe. He told the red neck that he would be paid
$10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to
reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a
verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the red neck's
house, told him what a great job he had done and paid
him the $10,000.

The red neck replied that it wasn't easy to convince
the rest of the jury to change the charge to man-
slaughter. They all wanted to let him go.

v v v v v

A study by a Canadian anthropologist demonstrated that 97 percent of
women shut their eyes during a kiss but only 37 percent of men did.
The late actor Anthony Quinn claimed that men got into that habit
centuries ago, when many men began kissing with their eyes wide
open to make sure their wives were not around to catch them.

v v v v v

"Bill Clinton gave a speech at a high school in Kentucky,
and he was 90 minutes late. Clinton told the students,
'I'd explain why I'm late but you're not quite old enough.'"

Conan O'Brien

v v v v v

A businessman had a tiring day on the road. He checked into a hotel
and, because he was concerned that the dining room might close
soon, left his luggage at the front desk and went immediately
to eat. After a leisurely dinner, he reclaimed his luggage and
realized that he had forgotten his room number. He went back to
the desk and told the clerk on duty, "My name is Henry Davis,
could you please tell me what room I am in?"

"Certainly," said
the clerk. "You're in the lobby."

v v v v v

I used to be a Scrabble champion, but I became inconsonant and
can't control my vowels.

Richard Lederer

v v v v v

A blonde, waiting by the first tee for her lesson from the golf pro,
watched a foursome tee off.

The first man hit it 230 yards, straight down the middle of the fairway.

"Nice shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad, considering my impediment," replied the golfer.

"What do you mean?"

"I have a glass eye."

"I don't believe you," said the blonde. "Show me."

He popped out his glass eye and showed it to her.

The second golfer hit it 240 yards, straight down the middle of
the fairway.

"Good shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad, considering my impediment," replied the second golfer.

"You, too?" said the blonde. "What's wrong with you?"

"I have a prosthetic arm," said the golfer. "I don't believe you,"
said the blonde. "Show me."

So he screwed out his arm and showed it to her.

The third golfer hit a 250-yard drive down the middle.

"Great shot," said the blonde. "Not bad, considering my impediment."

"Another? What's your impediment?"

"Prosthetic leg," said the golfer.

"No way," said the blonde. "Show me."

So the golfer screwed off his leg and showed it to her.

The fourth golfer hit a beauty, 320 yards, straight as a string.

"Now that's a shot," said the blonde. "I suppose you have an
impediment, too?"

"Yep," said the golfer. "Artificial heart."

"What? I don't believe you! Show me."

"I can't show you here in the open," he said. "Let's go over there,
behind the Pro Shop."

They did, but when they hadn't returned after fifteen minutes,
his partners peered around behind the Pro Shop to see what was
keeping him.

And there he was -- screwing his heart out!

v v v v v

Cell phones for soldiers program in full swing
WAFF - Huntsville, AL, USA
And Liberty Tax Service in Huntsville is proving that saying true by turning old

cell phones into talk time for troops overseas....

Cell phones banned in schools
13abc.com - Toledo, OH, USA
WTVG--November 13, 2007 - Cell phones are an expensive gadget, but most parents want their kids to have them in school,

but what happens when is ...

How Often Do You Clean Your Cell Phone?
WILX-TV - Lansing, MI, USA
Cell phones -- that small piece of electronic equipment people so frequently put up to

their faces are great places to harbor bacteria and germs. ...

v v v v v

At the site, one lone survivor sat with his back against
a tree, chewing on a bone. As he tossed the bone onto
a huge pile of other bones, he noticed the rescue team.
"Thank God", he cried out in relief. "I am saved!"

The rescue team did not move, as they were in shock,
seeing the pile of human bones beside this lone survivor.
Obviously he had eaten his comrades.

The Survivor saw the horror in their faces and hung his own
head in shame. "You can't judge me for this," he insisted.
"I had to survive. Is it so wrong to want to live?"

The leader of the rescue team stepped forward,
shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't judge you for
doing what was necessary to survive, but my God man,
Your damn plane only went down yesterday!"

v v v v v

"I can't believe how much our sex life improved when I started
practicing my vaginal exercises for my ex."

"Really? What did he say?"

"He said, 'For the love of God, please let go of me now!'"

v v v v v

Breakfast was a very late affair that day, and the husband and
wife were fragile indeed - badly hung over from a particularly
wild party the night before. Bleary eyed, with two trembling
hands holding his very black coffee, our hero said to his wife,
"Was it you I had anal sex with in the garden last night?"

She struggled to bring him into focus. "About what time?" she replied.

v v v v v

Problems with my laptop required calling the dreaded company
help line. The service rep, based in another country, did not
speak English very well. So I tried to explain it as simply as
possible: "I can't get the computer to work." "Ah, I see," he
responded. "You are unable to transport your computer to your
place of employment."

Marianne Thompson

v v v v v

Click here: Can You See What I See?

Help an unfortunate shop owner save his collectibles shop in this original take on hidden object fun!

Meet poor Clyde Curfuffle. He's suffered a fire, a flood, and a nasty fall that's left him in the hospital.

This horrible string of bad luck means there's no one to run his fabulous shop!

One of Clyde's favorite collectibles may sell for a lot of money, and he could really use a bit of good fortune,

but you have to find out which one! Fill orders, find rare items, and solve a secret code to

unravel a mystery that will save the day in level after level of stunning hidden object challenges.

A unique treat for the entire family, Can You See What I See? is full of eye-popping fun!

Click here: THE GAME OF LIFE - Path to Success

Follow the path to success by playing this contemporary spin on the classic family favorite.

Take care of the needs of everyone under your roof as you advance through life from college,

to marriage, and beyond. Collect tokens at a fast and frenzied pace when you succeed at meeting the increasing demands of friends,

family, and new characters who enter your life throughout the 50 levels of fast fun.

Better hurry though, there's only so many hours in a day!

v v v v v

"A court today ruled that American money discriminates
against blind people because they can't tell the bills
apart. I don't think that's true, because the one-dollar
bills always smell like strippers."

Craig Ferguson

v v v v v

I was in a bank when a man entered with a rather large dog on
a leash. When he asked if it was okay to bring his pet into the
building, a bank official answered, "Yes, provided he doesn't make
a deposit."

v v v v v

Controlling Icons in Windows Vista
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-4688.html?cid=etipArticleLink?cid=articleFeature

Straight out of the box, Vista ships with exactly one icon: the
Recycle Bin. Microsoft found that most people appreciate a clean
desktop, devoid of icons but it also found that hiding the
Recycle Bin confused people. So Microsoft compromised by making
the desktop squeaky-clean, except for the Recycle Bin: Aero Glass
and a Recycle Bin. More

Lockergnome's Windows Fanatics

http://www.lockergnome.com/windows/

Brought to you by Chris Pirillo

http://chris.pirillo.com/

Making MIDI Music With The Yamaha TENORI-ON_

http://www.lockergnome.com/windows/2007/12/28/making-midi-music-with-the-yamaha-tenori-on/

by Chris Pirillo

v v v v v

For me, love was always more than
just a four-letter word. Which may
help explain why I flunked spelling.

v v v v v

A motorcycle officer stops a vehicle that has ran a red light.
The driver is a real jerk and comes running back to the officer
and asks why he is being harassed by the Gestapo and the officer
calmly tells the driver of the red light violation.

The driver goes into a tirade, and questioning the officer's
ancestry, sexual orientation etc. The officer takes it all in
professional stride and writes the ticket and places an "AH"
in the bottom right hand corner - Narration.

The officer hands the driver the ticket and requests a signature.
The driver angrily signs the ticket and notices the "AH" and
demands to know what that is for.

The officer removes his mirror like sunglasses and gets in the
drivers face and in a low voice says "So that when we get in court
in three months time, I can remember that you are an ass hole!"

Three months later, in court, the driver has hired a lawyer,
as his driving record is not what you would call perfect, and he
expects to lose his license.

The officer gives his evidence on the driver running a red
light. Then under cross examination, the driver's lawyer asks if
this is the ticket the officer had issued.

"Yes, this is the defendant's copy of the ticket I issued," states
the officer.

Lawyer then asks " Is there any particular marking or notation on
this ticket that you don't normally make?"

The officer says "Yes in the bottom right hand corner, in the
Narrative box, is the AH underlined"

Lawyer: "What does the AH stand for, officer?"

Officer: "Aggressive and Hostile"

Lawyer: "Are you sure?"

Officer: "Yes sir."

Lawyer: "Are you sure that it doesn't stand for ass hole?"

Officer: "Well sir, I am sure you know your client better than
I do."

v v v v v

           It's 3:00 a.m. and I just picked the biggest
   booger of my life. I thought of waking my wife,
   but she might get mad, so I think I'll just
   leave it on my finger and show it to her in
   the morning -- even though at that point, it
may no longer weigh enough for a world record.

       (Tidewater Joe)

v v v v v

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

v v v v v

Grandmom tends to all the chores around her home since Granddad
died. One spring day, my dad and I were helping her clean up her
blossoming yard.

"Don't overfill those garbage bags with clippings," she
reminded us. "The garbage men won't pick up bags heavier than 40
pounds. They'll just leave them."

When Grandmom went into the house to make lemonade, Dad and I
stuffed the remaining clippings into two bags. They were admittedly
on the heavier side of the allowable 40 pounds.

As Dad and I thirstily drank the cool lemonade, my 81-year-old,
110-pound grandmom bent over and hoisted both bags to eye
level. "How," she admonished us, "are those poor garbage men going
to lift these heavy bags?"

v v v v v

The Big Johnson #2

Scale ingredients to servings
2 oz Ketel One® vodka
2 oz cranberry juice
2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
2 oz White Lightning® cider
1 lime, sugar

Cut a lime into slices and coat in sugar. Pour Ketel One vodka, Southern Comfort and

White Lightning into a pitcher filled with ice. Pour cranberry juice into the pitcher last and allow to

mingle with the spirits. Do not stir, since this weakens it. Pour through a strainer into a tall glass, and chug.

The lime should stay at the bottom of the glass as you chug, forcing you to finish the shot in one gulp

before you can retrieve the lime, and you *want* to get the lime before the air hits your tongue.

Red Headed Stepchild #2

Scale ingredients to servings
1 1/2 oz Bacardi® light rum
6 1/2 oz Mountain Dew® Code Red soda

Pour Bacardi into a collins glass filled with ice.

Add Code red mountain dew, and serve.

v v v v v

The Top 9 Blind Date Commandments

9> If thou art taken to a 1-star restaurant, an end of the night
"goodbye" is acceptable. 2 stars, a kiss. 3 stars, thou must
perform oral sex. 4 stars, thou had best be prepared to make breakfast.

8> Thou shalt not mention thy rashes from thine nether regions
until after dessert. Or the next day. Or never.

7> Thou shalt not. Really. Just not.

6> Thou shalt not order the most expensive thing on the menu,
unless thou shalt "put out" after dinner.

5> Thou shalt not embarrass thyself: If hungry, thou shalt eat
prior; if horny, thou shalt wank prior.

4> Thou shalt honor thy forebears and not claim that thy
grandmother died whenst thou gettest thy pre-arranged phone call.

3> Thou shalt honor thy tequila and thy vodka, for thou might
find need of them.

2> If thou findest thy date unattractive while sober, thou shall not drink.

and the Number 1 Blind Date Commandment...

1> No one cares if you're Scotland's Man of the Year, Thou shalt not kilt.

v v v v v

It's amazing how drinking is now part of this campaign. And all
of the candidates have their favorite drinks now. For example,
John McCain, he prefers Old Grand Dad. Barack Obama, he likes
the elitist Manhattan with extra bitters. And, of course, Hillary
likes a shot of Old Crow, straight up.

v v v v v

PicArtia -:- Create your photo mosaic Online for Free!

What do you do with the photos you take with your digital camera?

You've probably shared them with others via photo sites and slide shows.

Maybe you even have a digital photo frame to put them on display.

And I'm sure a few people still print their photos!

Well, now it is time to get a little more creative with your photos.

I have the perfect way to do it—and you don't even need to use Photoshop!

At PicArtia, you can create mosaics with your photos.

Smaller photos are pieced together to mimic your original image.

Start by uploading a photo. Then, choose the photos you'd like to use in your mosaic.

You can't use your own photos. However, there are a number of different themes from which to choose.

When you're done, PicArtia will send you a link so you can download your mosaic. You can also share it with others.

Optical Illusions and Visual Phenomena

These pages demonstrate visual phenomena, and »optical« or »visual illusions«.

The latter is more appropriate, because most effects have their basis in the visual pathway, not in the optics of the eye.

When I find the time I will expand the explanations, to the degree that these phenomena are really understood;

any nice and thoughtful comment welcome

Welcome to Google Sites

Thanks to the Internet, we can connect with co-workers anywhere.

We can exchange messages and share documents.

But if you truly want to collaborate online, things become more difficult.

Setting up a site to share information and files is difficult.

That is, until now. Google Sites makes collaboration easy.

You don’t need to know HTML to use Google Sites. You can get started with free templates.

Then, customize the site to make it your own.

You can upload files and add information from Google Calendar, YouTube, Picasa and other programs.

Each account gets a whopping 10 gigabytes of storage. You’ll need to sign up for Google Apps to use the service. That's free.

Price Drop Alerts by Price!pinx - Lower prices are coming your way!

All you need do is install a bookmark in your browser. Then, on a site’s product page,

highlight the price and click your bookmark. Price!pinx will record the item.

You’ll receive a notification if the price drops! This is handy if you’re waiting for a price drop to buy something.

It can also help with low-price guarantees.

Spam Proof eMail Address Generator

If you have a Web site, you probably want visitors to contact you. And e-mail is one of the best ways to do that.

Of course, there are dangers to posting your e-mail address. Spambots crawl the Internet looking for e-mail addresses to harvest.

If you post your address online, you can expect a deluge of spam.

But I have a way around that problem. Create an image of your e-mail address. Spambots won’t be able to read it, but your visitors can.

So, how is this done? Try today’s Cool Site. You can generate an image of your e-mail address quickly and easily.

And you can customize the font and background color. Then, it is easy to post the image on your site!

submitted by: pavanco1

YOOX.COM - Sample Sale

Sample sale on lots of designer things!

Three million people visit YOOX.COM every month to play with ideas, objects and colours,

inventing their own style and expressing their own individuality.

Once inside YOOX.COM you experience the alchemy of a creative cyberspace,

where technology meets women and men to explore a new concept of entertainment via shopping.
The name itself reveals the personality of YOOX.COM: Y and X, the male and female chromosomes,

flank the ‘zero’ from the binary code, the fundamental language of the digital age.

YOOX.COM is the No.1 virtual boutique of multi-brand fashion & design in the world.

Thanks to a direct relationship with designers, manufacturers and authorized dealers,

YOOX.COM is the only destination offering an infinite mix & match of hard-to-find styles and trends:

2. Office Depot Opt-in

3. Betty Crocker Warm Delights® Minis

Free warm delights with Betty Crocker registration! Yum!

submitted by: ron_stott

:: Pixie's Train Ride ::

Oh please take a moment to visit this site - it made me cry - so profound

v v v v v

NBC is creating a number of shows that are based around sponsors'
products. Shows to come: Boston Market Legal, The Office Depot,
International "House" of Pancakes, The Tyra Bank of America Show,
CSI Kentucky Fried Chicken, Dancing with the Starbucks, Sex and
the City Bank and Saved by the Taco Bell

v v v v v

Due to the steady decline in available Nuns - and because of
the subject matter - there was a lay schoolteacher in the small
Catholic school teaching sex ed. The class was comprised of only
8 students, due to the size of the school. One of the little girls
there asked, "According to the Bible, it says that Adam came first,
then Eve." The teacher replied, "Yes, dear, that is true, according
to the Word Of God." The girl responded, "Daddy always told me it
is 'Ladies Before Gentlemen.' Didn't that rule apply during the
Creation time?" The teacher gets a smile on her face... she said,
"Dearie, Adam came first -- trust me. And every man since him came
first, too!"

v v v v v

PC World - In Pictures: How to Spot an E-Mail Scam_ (http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,138310/article.html?tk=nl_spxsld
"In Pictures: How to Spot an E-Mail Scam":
Wonder whether the message announcing that you've received an e-card is legit?

Or whether PayPal is really trying to contact you?

Here's a visual guide to spotting malware, fraud, and other dirty tricks in your inbox.

v v v v v

The Top 8 Ways Animals Make Better Parents Than Humans

8> Nobody can teach parallel parking better than a crab.

7> Black widows are well-skilled at single parenthood.

6> Home schooling comes naturally to goldfish.

5> With a rat for a Mom, "Your room looks like a rat's nest!" is
actually a *compliment*.

4> "The heck with applying to Cornell; I'm going to Obedience
School just like my Dad!"

3> Kangaroos? No stroller required!

2> No wipes to clean up junior? A problem like that is easily licked!

and the Number 1 Way Animals Make Better Parents than Humans...

1> They've got the sense to eat their young.

v v v v v

As project manager for a firm of consulting engineers, I had
to keep our field crews supplied with survey stakes. One day the
receptionist advised me a man selling stakes was out front. After he
was settled in my office, I told him I'd be interested in an initial
purchase of a hundred. His face broke into a wide smile, which was
replaced by a puzzled expression when I continued. We would pay 59
cents each; but they must be 36 inches long, with a good point at
one end and should not break when pounded into the ground. After a
moment's silence he explained he was selling frozen sirloin steaks.

v v v v v

submitted by: BillieJo50

v v v v v

A new report suggests that being overweight is not as harmful as
is commonly believed, and actually confers some surprising benefits.

Being five to ten pounds overweight could protect people from
ailments ranging from tuberculosis to Alzheimer's disease, research
indicates. Those carrying 15 to 25 extra pounds are better able
to recover from adverse conditions such as emphysema, pneumonia,
and various injuries and infections, states the report.

Thirty to forty pounds of flab could help fend off breast, kidney,
pancreatic, prostate, and colon cancer. And an extra fifty pounds
on the scale may improve eyesight, reverse baldness, cure the
common cold, and reduce global warming.

In general, the report concludes, overweight people are happier,
more successful in business, smarter, and friendlier.

The study was funded by a research grant from McDonald's, Burger
King, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, Domino's Pizza, Star- bucks,
Haagen Dazs, Sara Lee, and Krispy Kreme.

www.OurLadyofWeightLoss.com Home of the Kick in the Tush Club

v v v v v

On the alleged sexual affair with country singer Mindy McCready
starting when she was 15 years old: "Apparently, Roger Clemens
has been playing in the minors."

v v v v v

by deb

Just Gus
by Laurie Williams

Gus was a lucky dog. Injured and abandoned, he could have become another of the 7 million animals euthanized every year. Then Stephanie

Williams entered the picture. A successful journalist, she had been diagnosed with late-stage breast cancer at the age of 30.

On medical leave and living alone, she wanted a warm four-legged companion. When she saw Gus's soulful eyes and goofy grin,

it was love at first sight: she would rescue him, and he would return the favor.

This book evokes so many emotions! Grab your tissues and read it!!

v v v v v

Butch, our boxer, hated taking medicine. After a lot of trial and
error, my father eventually figured out the simplest way to get
it into him: blow it down Butch's throat with something called a
'pill tube.' So, Dad put the large tablet in one end of the tube,
forced the reluctant dog's jaws open, and poked the other end
into his mouth. Then, just as my father inhaled to blow, Butch
coughed. A startled look appeared on Dad's face. He opened his
eyes wide and swallowed hard. "I think I've just been de-wormed,"
he gasped.

v v v v v

Macworld | Mac Gems | Little Snitch 2.0.3

When I reviewed Objective Development Software GmbH’s Little Snitch 1.2 for Macworld two years ago,

it helpfully filled a gap in the ipfw firewall software Apple provides with Mac OS X.

The built-in firewall monitored, and blocked, only incoming network traffic, and Little Snitch

was one of the available options for dealing with outbound network traffic. With Little Snitch 2 (; $25),

Objective Development has delivered a worthy successor, with more-informative alerts to the user,

more ways of seeing what traffic is coming from your Mac,

and more pre-configured rules for common types of network traffic.

Macworld | Mac Gems | TapDex 3.3.2

Apple’s Address Book utility is a handy place to store information for your contacts,

especially since it integrates so well with other Mac OS X programs. However, for many people,

relatively few Address-Book interactions involve editing contact data. You’re usually just trying to view or copy someone’s information;

for example, an address or phone number. In these cases, launching Address Book is overkill.

v v v v v

submitted: FCUEBALL13

IMPORTANT!!!! WARNING FROM PAKISTAN

This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of
Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States and Canada that if
military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off
America's and Canada's supply of convenience store managers. And if this
action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next,
followed by Dell and Sprint customer service reps.
It's getting ugly.

v v v v v

The Top 8 Signs Your Child Has Been Playing Doctor

8> Gives a hug and sends a bill for "tactile/sensory therapy."

7> Her Big Wheel sports vanity plates: KID DOC.

6> Occasionally calls in for consult: Dr. Seuss.

5> Tax records show that he successfully billed seven digits to
the local HMO last year.

4> Oprah calls: She's interested in yet another health-related spin-off.

3> He has distributed to daycare a formulary list of approved
medications, including Flintstones chewables and wintergreen Tic-Tacs.

2> He just cut the cord on a Webkinz.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Child Has Been Playing Doctor...

1> Don't call after 2pm; she's on the back nine at Putt-Putt.

v v v v v

When told the reason for daylight saving time the old Indian said,

"Only a white man would believe that you could cut a foot off the top of a blanket and

sew it to the bottom of a blanket and have a longer blanket"

v v v v v

The Top 16 Favorite Movies of Short People

16> Legends of the Small

15> The Munchkinian Candidate

14> North Dallas Shorty

13> The Devil Wears Lifts

12> Honey, I Shrunk!

11> Forrest Imp

10> Sisterhood of the Too-Long Pants

9> Being Tom Cruise

8> Harold & Kumar Get Platform Shoes

7> Undersize Me

6> Stand By Mini-Me

5> 3'10" to Yuma

4> SMALL-E

3> Harry Potter and the Challenge of the Top Shelf

2> Randy Newman Must Die

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Favorite Movie of Short People...

1> Snakes on DA PLANE!

v v v v v

submitted by: BODRUMS57

Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0766.html

Chocolate Chip Cookies

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0264.html

Chocolate Chip Meltaways

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0557.html

Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0811.html

Chocolate Cream Cheese Squares

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0026.html

Chocolate Crinkles

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0380.html

Chocolate Mint Snow-Top Cookies

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0115.html

Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies (no bake)

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0228.html

Chocolate Snowball Cookies

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0216.html

Chocolate Streusel Bars

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0434.html

Chocolate Sundae Cookies

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0678.html

Chocolate Walnut Crumb Bars

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0593.html

Choco-Scotch Crunchies

http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/rec0660.html

v v v v v

Boy, it is hard to keep up with all these crises we have in America.
Remember last week, when everybody in America was obese? Remember
that? This week there's a food shortage.

What happened over the
weekend? Did we pig out and eat all the food?

v v v v v

   It never ceases to amaze me how some of the
most disgusting, sick, violent criminals find
love behind bars. Who are these women and men
who are attracted to death row inmates? We
here at Relationships have concluded that
those cons must be really good at writing love
letters. I mean, what else do they have to do?

The Top 9 Prisoner Love Lines

9> "The only crime I'm guilty of is stealing your heart. Oh,
well, and that little murder-one thing."

8> "Freedom's overrated and so is glamor, all I need is your
love here in the slammer."

7> "I've got a ring for you, but don't ask where I'm hiding it."

6> "I can prove my love by never sleeping with another woman or
child for 10-15 years."

5> "If you say yes, the next con I shank will be dedicated to you."

4> "Every time I do another guy in the shower, I'm only thinking of you."

3> "Hey, I even do laundry!"

2> "You'll like me. I'm jail bait."

and the Number 1 Prisoner Love Line...

1> "I'll bring the 'con', you bring the 'jugal'."

v v v v v

10 pieces of hardware you should replace rather than repair, from Kris Littlejohn - Downloads - TechRepublic
http://downloads.techrepublic.com.com/abstract.aspx?docid=310781?tag=tr.dl.zdn&tag=nl.e530
Any time a computer component stops working or becomes unstable, you have to decide whether to replace it,

have it repaired, or just get by as is with perhaps a temporary fix. Repair or just getting by will nearly always be the

cheapest solution, at least in the short run.

But in some cases, replacement is the best option, providing benefits ranging from an enhanced user

experience to additional compatibility, greater longevity, and stability for the whole system.

v v v v v

It's been determined that it's a bad idea to give chocolate to a
woman with PMS. It can worsen the condition. However, it's an
even WORSE idea to try to take AWAY chocolate from a woman with PMS.

Jay Leno

v v v v v

Moss in the City :: National Gardening Association

http://www.garden.org/urbangardening/?page=interpreting-soil

A professional soil test can help you amend the soil with the necessary nutrients for the plants you'll be growing.

The following chart was taken from a soil test report on my community garden in April of 2000.

National Gardening Association :: Gardening Resources

http://www.garden.org/pestlibrary/

Use our "mug shots" to identify pest problems in your garden. Click on names for photos and complete descriptions.

National Gardening Association ::

Food Gardening Guide_ http://www.garden.org/foodguide/browse/veggie/broccoli_getting_started/1195
Want to grow broccoli? Here are the essentials

v v v v v

Maxim magazine compiled a list of the best and worst things to
happen to men in 2007.

Wonderful. But shouldn't they stick to doing photo spreads of
lingerie-clad starlets and leave the intellectual heavy lifting
to TopFive?

The Top 15 Worst Things to Happen to Men in 2007

15> When it's not the Year of the Rat on the Chinese calendar,
men just don't stand a chance.

14> Amount of porn on the internet went up 68%; hours in the day
held steady at 24.

13> Each year without a reassuring Harvey Keitel or Dennis Franz
nude scene, our personal body images take a hit.

12> Friggin' Tom Brady hogged all the women.

11> Scientists discovered the best way to fight testicular cancer
is to punch the cancer into remission.

10> Of the 34,563,921,477 e-mails sent in 2007 touting male
enlargement products, more than 100% of them were bogus.

9> 99.999999999991738% of men were NOT involved in the impregnation
of Jessica Alba.

8> Losing to our clueless female friends in the first round of
the fantasy football playoffs.

7> Emergency rooms reported that fully 100% of all accidents related
to shooting an object off of a friend's head involved only males.

6> During that beaver shot in "Knocked Up," some kid's head got
in the way!

5> Britney Spears took another step back from that red leather
suit that helped us ruin most of our socks.

4> Brad Pitt's dedication to Angelina and all the accompanying
ass-kissing, baby-adopting bullshit made the rest of us look
REALLY bad.

3> Let's face it, women don't need to sleep their way to the top
like in the good old days.

2> The continuing lack of a quality body wash that both moisturizes
while leaving behind a pleasant vanilla scent.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Worst Thing to Happen to Men in 2007...

1> Mel Gibson completely ruined "Sugar Tits" as a term of affection.

v v v v v

While he was in the Saudi Arabia, President Bush met with the
Saudi crown Prince Abdullah. See, he's not really good at these
social situations. He kept asking the prince about his sister
Paula Abdullah.

Jay Leno

v v v v v

We had 80 mph winds today! Coming in this morning, I saw a Mini
Cooper circling the airport.

Jay Leno

v v v v v

Eddie Murphy 's marriage is over. It lasted only two weeks. Two
weeks! Here's what I heard: They started to drift apart during
the ceremony.

David Letterman

v v v v v

Osama bin Laden's son announced today that he wants to be a
peace activist. Talk about rebelling against your parents!

Craig Ferguson

v v v v v

Choosing Between a Longhaired or Shorthaired Kitten
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-2352.html?cid=etipArticleLink?cid=articleFeature

When deciding what type of kitten to get, you may want to
consider how much time you have for grooming. Some longhaired
kittens, like Persians, must be groomed every day. Others may
simply need an occasional comb-through when they're shedding. If
you want an indoor/outdoor kitten, you may want to stick with a
shorthair, because long hair attracts grass, burrs, and gunk.

submitted by: SHAYNABUTTONS

YouTube - Snoring Maggie - Maggie ronron

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fzbc_dE2Ilc
Awww so cute! LOL

submitted by: pavanco1

http://www.petsincredible.com/documents/08Coupon_Book_v1.pdf
Pet Coupons!

v v v v v

The Top 15 Worst Things to Happen to Women in 2007

15> Collateral damage from the Spears/Lohan implosion set women
back about 150 years.

14> Another year has gone with Joey Buttafucuo having not been
castrated.

13> With Hillary Clinton running so hard for president, Bill had
WAY too much time on his hands.

12> What with all the adoptions, Brad Pitt announced he was
drastically cutting back on his affairs.

11> Male sensitivity, after peaking in the early '90s, continued
its precipitous decline.

10> The good gossip news: Daniel Ratcliff is legal! The bad gossip
news: He's moved in with Nathan Lane.

9> You spy on a few Hewlett Packard employees, and the press makes
*sure* to report that you're a FEMALE CEO.

8> Topping People's "Most Eligible Bachelors of 2007" list: Ike
Turner and Scott Peterson.

7> Shoes continued to be sized based on a randomized process
steeped in Base 23, as calculated by a consortium of senile
engineers from MIT.

6> As Baby Boomers begin to hit age sixty, the term "GrandMILF"
is now open for business.

5> Same as every year: Men left the damn seat up again.

4> Hubby got back to nagging you in March after wearing out the
Fleshlight you got him for Christmas '06.

3> Map makers steadfastly refused to reduce the complexity of the
folds in their products.

2> *Still* no nude Playgirl spread of that irascible-but-luscious
Dr. Gregory House!

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Worst Thing to Happen to Women in 2007...

1> Turns out that hunky Larry Craig is gay!

v v v v v

One woman was bragging to her next-door neighbor about her son,
a college student. "Why, our son is so brilliant, every time we
get a letter from him we have to go to the dictionary."

"You're lucky," the neighbor said. "Every time we get a letter
from ours, we have to go to the bank!"

v v v v v

WinkingSkull.com - Navigation

http://www.winkingskull.com/navigation.aspx
Whether you’re here to study anatomy, or here for that quick refresher before an exam, or you’re simply interested in

looking at stunning, state-of-the-art illustrations of human anatomy, WinkingSkull.com is the interactive study aid that is for you!

WinkingSkull.com is designed to let you study anatomy and test yourself on must-know concepts. You can gauge your

proficiency against a handy timer and see your test results instantly.

Navigate through each region of the body by clicking on the list to the left of your screen.

If you need some help finding your way, please consult our FAQ section.

Bipolar disorder and manic depression information - MayoClinic.com

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bipolar-disorder/DS00356
From high to low. From mania to depression. From recklessness to listlessness.

These are the extremes associated with bipolar disorder, a mental illness characterized by mood

instability that can be serious and disabling. Bipolar disorder is also known as

manic-depression or manic-depressive illness — manic behavior is one extreme of this disorder, and depression is the other.

10 Questions You Must Ask Your Doctor - AOL Body

http://body.aol.com/health/mens-health/doctor-questions
Doctors often adhere to a better-safe-than-sorry philosophy, ordering tests just to protect themselves in the event of a lawsuit,"

says David Sandmire, MD, coauthor of Medical Tests That Can Save Your Life. A full 16 percent of prostate --

cancer screenings, for example, are unnecessary, say Harvard researchers. Since 80 percent of PSA results are false positives,

thousands of men undergo needless biopsies each year. Another overused procedure: CT scans. The radiation

from these tests causes an estimated 5,695 cancer cases a year, say British researchers.

v v v v v

Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads
out Jack's last will and testament.

"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and
one million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my big Lexus and the
Jaguar. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to
my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better
than wealth, I leave my sun lamp."

v v v v v

A Catholic priest I once knew went to the hospital to visit
patients. Stopping at the nurse's station, he carefully looked
over the patient roster and jotted down the room number of everyone
who had "Cath" written boldly next to his name.

That, he told me, was a big mistake. When I asked why, he replied,
"It was only after I had made the rounds that I learned they were
all patients with catheters."

v v v v v

A small town doctor was famous in the area for always catching
large fish.

One day while he was on one of his frequent fishing trips he got
a call that a woman at a neighboring farm was giving birth. He
rushed to her aid and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The farmer had nothing to weigh the baby with so the doctor used
his fishing scales. The baby weighed 32 lb. 10 oz.

v v v v v

submitted by: ron_stott

Clothes:
Wearing proper indoor clothes in order to keep the
thermostat at an acceptable level is a comfort issue
that should be measured by each individual's need.
If one feels comfortable with a sweater, hat and warm
socks, that could work as a way to reduce the heating
costs. However, if it makes someone uncomfortable
with all that gear around the house then they may need
to focus on other aspects of frugal heating tips.
Quick fact: 50% of your body heat exits through the head.

Floors:
Placing rugs on wooden floors in winter time can help
the body feel warmer. Stepping on a cold floor sends
chills up the spine and no one wants that to happen.
Another good purchase would be warm socks and/or slippers.

v v v v v

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm
shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally
charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you
scared away two other patients."

v v v v v

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm
shocked!" she complained. "This is three times what you normally charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you yelled so loud, you
scared away two other patients."

v v v v v

   The Top 9 Signs An Animal Control Officer Is Losing It

9> So far this week, he's rescued 147 dozen chicken embryos from
the Piggly Wiggly.

8> Instead of bringing out the dead possum, he emerges from the
crawlspace under your house casually picking fur out of his
teeth with a rib-bone.

7> Insists on personally tongue-grooming every animal he brings in.

6> "Who's a good boy? Yes you are, yes you are! Now send in
Johnson for his performance review."

5> Barks pit bulls their rights before using his Taser.

4> Her children are trained to balance snacks on their noses and
wait for a signal before they eat them.

3> "How many stray cats do you think I have in my pants right now?"

2> Comes back at the end of the day with the entire truck filled
with nothing but roadkill.

   and the Number 1 Sign An Animal
   Control Officer Is Losing It...

1> Some days she gets the bear, some days she intentionally lets
the bear get her.

v v v v v

A farmer bought a cute little filly that he planed to race next ,season, but when he got her home,

his old stallion got her scent and wanted her. He started kicking up dust and tried to get to her.

The farmer didn't want her pregnant because she wouldn't be able to race, so he called the vet.

The vet told him to tie a bed sheet around the filly's rump to keep the stallion away. So that day, the farmer did just that.

The next day, the farmer went out to the corral to make sure the vet's solution worked, but the filly was nowhere to be found.

The farmer followed her hoof trail to the neighbor's farm and saw the neighbor' kid out by their barn.

"Hey boy, did you see a filly run by with a bed sheet tied around her rump?" the farmer asked.

The kid replied, "No sir, but one dashed past here early this morning with a handkerchief sticking out of her butt!!"

v v v v v

About.com: http://www.feminist.org/news/newsbyte/uswirestory.asp

News and events, career center, take action, special features, calendar, shopping, etc.

Videos from the Ms Forum on International Family Planning are now available on YouTube.

The Feminist Majority Foundation's YouTube Channel now features videos from last week's Forum,

as well as FMF's This is What a Feminist Looks Like video and archive video from the

2007 National Young Women's Leadership Conference.

The Feminist Daily Newswire is also expanding to Twitter.

News stories will be posted daily on the Feminist News Twitter page.

Media Resources: Feminist Majority Foundation

v v v v v

It was a hectic day of running errands with my wife and son. As if
the stress weren't enough, four-year-old Christopher insisted on
asking questions about everything, told me how to drive better,
and sang every song he knew. Finally, fed up with the incessant
chatter, I made him an offer: "Christopher, if you'll be quiet
for just a few minutes, I'll give you a quarter." It worked.

When we stopped for lunch, I unknowingly began to harp on
him. "Christopher, sit up straight ... don't spill your drink
... don't talk with your mouth full."

Finally he said seriously, "Dad, if you'll be quiet for just a
few minutes, I'll give you a quarter."

v v v v v

This guy says, "I am perfect for you, because I am a cross between
a macho and a sensitive man."

I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"

v v v v v

submitted by: KP1983

ArtCyclopedia: the Fine Art Search Engine http://www.artcyclopedia.com/

ArtsEdge: the National Arts and Education Information Network http://artsedge.kennedy-center.org/

Daryl Cagle's Professional Cartoonists' Index http://cagle.slate.msn.com/

International Art Museum Directory - ArtSeek http://www.artseek.com/institutions/museums/

Metropolitan Museum of Art's Timeline of Art History http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/splash.htm

v v v v v

Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin?

It won't work and you can't fire it.

v v v v v

A recent survey shows that of all jobs, caddies live the
longest. They get plenty of fresh air and exercise, and if there's
ever a medical emergency, a doctor is always nearby.

v v v v v

mentalfloss Blog » 23 Album Covers that Changed Everything! (http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/8093)
23 album covers that changed everything

by Chris Smith
Long before MTV, performers expressed the visual dimension of their art through their album covers.

Every music fan has his/her favorites, but several covers stand out for their brilliance,

their impact and their ability to make as much of a statement as the music they represent.

Every art form has its giants, and album cover art is no exception. The work of the designers featured here spans over 40 years of music.

Best Band Logos: No. 25 - Spinner.com

http://www.spinner.com/2008/02/15/best-band-logos-no-25/

Meanest Love Songs: No. 20 - Spinner.com

http://www.spinner.com/2008/01/25/meanest-love-songs-no-20/
If Valentine's Day is when we celebrate infatuation and devotion, it's also a time of pain for the jilted and the lovelorn.

The artists represented in the following 20 songs, which expose the flip side of romance, would likely agree

with fellow bitter scribe Joe Jackson's words:

"Fools in love -- are there any creatures more pathetic?" So, yeah,

it's almost that time again. Happy &%$#in' Valentine's Day.

v v v v v

"Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I
call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes,
you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!"

Dave Attell

v v v v v

A husband reports: "Our argument was well under way as my wife and I
left the party. Once we were in the car, words were flying. My wife
had really worked up a storm, and after a few choice words from me,
she shouted, 'Stop the car and let me out!'" I pulled over to the
curb. She unlocked the door and got out, but then looked around and
got back in again, saying, 'Take me to a better neighborhood!' "That
cracked up both of us -- and ended the argument, too."

v v v v v

Bookstore | TechRepublic

http://techrepublic.com.com/1395-6242-97-747555578-1635043127-307831.html?subj=EM01_ZD080118&tag=nl.e550

From hardware repairs to resolving Windows XP errors, TechRepublic's PC Troubleshooter Resource Guide,

5th Edition helps you accelerate repairs and keep PCs running smoothly. Trust the techniques used by IT professionals in the field,

found in this guide, to diagnose and eliminate system failures. Learn how to:

Track down and fix startup and connection problems Diagnose faulty memory

Troubleshoot hard drive failures Avoid common DVD-burning blunders Eliminate

IRQ conflicts Resolve sound card failures Diagnose common LCD monitor issues.

Troubleshoot printer problems. And much more

App's Apps - ClutterBuster

http://appsapps.info/clutterbuster.php

ClutterBuster is an application that will hold most of the shortcuts, to software, that you have on your desktop.

Each button can be set by right clicking and selecting the .exe file you want to associate with it.

The button will show the image, from the icon found in the .exe file. If it has no icon, the button will show blank.
When you close ClutterBuster it will store all of the info in an .ini file.
Once you set it, you can then delete all the clutter from your desktop and

use ClutterBuster to access your programs instead

v v v v v

Of course, all the presidential candidates seized on the pope's
visit. And people are speculating which presidential candidate
is most like the pope. And it's hard to say. I mean, you got John
McCain, he's the old guy. He's closest to God. Barack Obama is
the elitist. He's holier than thou. And, of course, Hillary who
is married to Bill Clinton, and who has forgiven more sin than
Hillary? How do you pick one?

Jay Leno

v v v v v

Miley Cyrus posed semi-nude for famed photographer Annie Leibovitz
in the June issue of Vanity Fair. She held a satin sheet to her
chest, exposing her back. No one can believe that Hannah Montana
turned into Hannah Idaho before her sixteenth birthday

v v v v v

submitted by: DeVulcano

Click here: Rose of Friendship

http://www.facebook.com/n/?profile.php&id=818169059

The Timelessness Of Friendship

v v v v v

There was a young blonde woman working in the local hospital.
She was fixin' to go check on the patients in her ward, and the
doctor saw her pick up a red pen. She took off, and he didn't
have a chance to say a word.

About half an hour later, the doctor saw her back at the desk,
and she put the red pen down again.

"Nurse Johnson, may I ask why you took the red pen with you?" the
doctor asked

"Well, I was performing my rounds," she replied. "I looked at Mr.
Wilson's chart, and it said I was supposed to draw blood -- so I
took the red pen!"

v v v v v

One day my 14-year-old son came home and happily told me about a
dance coming up at his school. He was very excited about going,
and I asked him if was going to invite a girl to go with him.

"Nah," he replied. "My friend Robert and I are going stagnant."

v v v v v

Solve Sluggish Surfing
Problem: My Web browsing is slow and sometimes stops altogether.
Fast Fix 1: If surfing is less responsive or impossible, your PC may have caught an infection.

Use an antivirus utility or a repair tool to check for problems.

Or try _Microsoft's free Malicious Software Removal Tool_

(http://www.microsoft.com/security/malwareremove/default.mspx) ;

just download the applet and follow the instructions.

How to Avoid the Blue Screen of Death ~ Chris Pirillo

http://chris.pirillo.com/2007/12/28/how-to-avoid-the-blue-screen-of-death/
Here are some excellent tips sent in by a community member at large, to help us all avoid getting a dreaded BSOD.

These are not only frustrating, they can also sometimes signal a major failure.

Annoyances.org - Top reasons for random, fatal crashes in Windows XP and Windows 2000

_ http://www.annoyances.org/exec/show/article07-200
Intended For Windows XP Windows 2003
Windows 2000Have you been experiencing random crashes in Windows XP or Windows 2000,

and you can't find any reason for them? Windows XP and Windows 2000 are both supposed to be

(and typically are) much more stable than Windows 9x/Me, but there are still things that can bring down the

entire system in a heartbeat, displaying the BSD (Blue Screen of Death) or simply restarting.

Go over this checklist and see if any of these apply to you.

v v v v v

A new farmer moved into a farmhouse in the South. He would be
raising cotton crops. He had checked with his neighbors, and
one of them asked him, "Do you want me to give you the number of
my exterminator? He is reasonable, and provides good service.

The new man, however was a devout Christian. He looked the farmer
in the eye and thanked him. But he said, "No thanks."

Well, the regular guy asked him why, and the new farmer replied,
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no weevil, for thou art with me."

v v v v v

John decided to visit his friend, Dave, who had just moved into
a new high-rise apartment building. As he parked his car and got
out, he heard a woman's voice say, "Hi there, big boy."

Looking up, he saw a gorgeous lady-dressed in a shear neglig=E8e,
leaning over the railing. "Come on up and see me," she purred.

John wasn't about to pass up an opportunity like that! He took
the elevator to the fifth floor, and as he got off -- an apartment
door opened and the sexy lady beckoned him toward her. John walked
over to the open door.

"I've been waiting for someone like you," the lady said as she
slowly unzipped his pants. John's pecker rose swiftly to the
occasion, and the lady took it into her hand.

Then she gave it a sharp whack with her other hand! John jumped
back in alarm. "What the hell did you do that for?" he cried.

She answered, "That'll teach you to take my parking place."

v v v v v

Click here: Car Crazy

Car care, gifts and gadgets, automotive accessories, collectables and toys

TV Show - Car Crazy Central

TV shows, videos, photos, community

Car Care Products: Car Waxes to Leather Cleaners, Meguiar's the Leader in Car and Surface Care since 1901

Awesome car care products!

v v v v v

Jenny, an aspiring young actress, made the rounds of producers'
offices for months before finally landing a part in a police movie.
The first day's shooting called for her to be thrown from a speeding
car and tumble into a stack of garbage cans.

On the second day, she was set on fire and thrown from a third
floor window.

On the third day, she was beat up by the villain and dumped into
the sewage-laden river. Wearily, she dragged herself from the
water and limped to the production office.

"Listen," she managed to stammer. "Who do I have to sleep with
to get out of this movie?"

v v v v v

The bride-to-be came to the last beautifully-wrapped package.
Upon opening it, she found this note: "If you wear this on your
wedding night, you'll be sure to wow him."

The bride-to-be looked through all the tissue paper and smiled.
The box inside the package was empty.

v v v v v

A VERY pregnant woman was at home with her ten-year-old son.
Nobody else was there, and quite obviously a ten-year-old could
not drive her to the hospital for any reason.

Suddenly the woman goes into labor. Her pain is intense, and she
calls out, "OH, what am I to DO?"

The son asked, "Just what is happening?"

"I'm in labor," she replied, "I need someone here to deliver
the baby!"

"I know just what to do," the son replied, as he hopped into the
other room. "I'm making a phone call now."

Within twenty minutes, the doorbell rang. The boy opened the door
and said, "Come in quick!"

The man said, "That will be $9.95."

The ten-year-old said, "The heck with the pizza! The only reason
I called is beause I've always heard that 'Domino's Pizza Delivers'
and my mother is in labor... NOW!"

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE TRAILER PARK TRASH WHEN...

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on
how much gas is in it.

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Reminder:

I have not visited any of these sites so I can't

vouch for them

I slept with ....and all I got with was this lousy T-Shirt
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1578.html

Good old days whe everyone could afford a hotel
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1579.html

West Virginian dream date!
(http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1580.html)

phun.org / phun.com - Adult Entertainment Blog

Vote on the 'thong of the week' -- bad girls blog, simply vids, holy jugs,

and tons more

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Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the making!

So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place

but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to

keep on rockin'
it's a state of mind

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©1999 - 2008 - Deborah Austin - All rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'

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