Editor:  DebsSweet
  Graphic Editors:  Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
   CrispySue, Kittykab

 

 

 THANKS!

 

to all of you, and you know who you are, who send me the

best stuff ever for the newsletter!  Thanks for taking the time to write me!

 Lots of good links, health and otherwise -- have fun!!

  Be careful when surfing the Internet.  I have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in working
  order as of this posting.  Always be aware of the risks out there and keep current with your
  anti-virus and adware removal software!
 
  If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my heart
  and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an email
  to me at aol and your request will be handled promptly.
 
  Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to ROCK AND ROLL!
 
  and don't  forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild ride! 

 

 

 

  "Glad to see ya back online with the newsletter. yipeeeeeeeeeeeee.I'm sure glad you're back up and running again.

It's been lonely without you. You have the most awesome pages on the net. Something for everyone.

I think your team also needs a, Great big Thanks also. So Thanks everyone for helping to make this the best Newsletter around.

Fred"

FCUEBALL13
  

 

"You need not worry about the "look" of R & R, it is easily readable. I
loved this weeks issue. you excel yourself week after week. I
especially loved the - youtube - hillary clinton perfume sketch.
you and your friends must spend an awful lot of time putting this
newsletter / webzine (how do you describe R & R?) together, and i for
one appreciate your effort.  andy"

 

 

afk.ark@tiscali.co.uk

 

 

"Your newsletter is the one thing I look forward to each week......I don't know the cost or the long hours you spend on making it,

but I just know I enjoy it and always look forward to it. I am not good with words but your hard work does not go

unnoticed ever from me......(((*_*)))...Patty

 

 

dallas229@cox.net

 

 

 

v v v v v




             The Top 9 Signs Your Life Coach Is a Cat            

 

9> "In life, as in business, if you can't kill it, ignore it."

8> You are encouraged to get rid of the dog and work on your
    belly rub techniques.

7> You give up your lucrative law practice to become a tuna
    fisherman.

6> Before: You used five different hair care products.
    Now: Just saliva.

5> New streamlined food pyramid consists of fish, meat, and mouse.

4> When conflict arises in your life and you feel a panic attack
    coming on, you're able to redirect by reaching into your
    pocket for a piece of yarn to dangle and bat.

3> You used to tell people to kiss your ass, now you go lie down
    and lick your own.

2> New workout routine consists of a two-second stretch and one
    lap around the living room, followed by a three hour nap.


    and the Number 1 Sign Your Life Coach Is a Cat...


1> The boss? She's just another person. The CEO? He has the same
    vulnerabilities as everybody else. The night janitor? He has
    The Vacuum! RUUUUUNN!

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Mary: So while I was visiting my friend in the hospital,
some deranged man came stumbling out of his room, picked up a
red-headed nurse, and threw her over his shoulder, saying he was
gonna sacrifice a virgin!

Jill: Oh, no! What did the hospital staff do?

Mary: One intern yelled, "She's no virgin!" Then one maintenance
man, three orderlies, and two MD's shouted, "I can vouch for that!"

 

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 



 


 

*submitted by*

BillieJo50
Hard Drive Testing Tools - Top 4 Free Hard Drive Testing Tools - Hard  Drive Diagnostics
There are many free hard drive testing tools available to help you determine  what, if anything,

is wrong when you suspect there may be a problem with a _hard drive
Some of these tools are built in to your _operating system

already and are ready to use right now  while others are available from your hard drive manufacturer. 
If you're interested, there are some

slightly more costly but arguably _better third-party hard drive testing tools_  available.


v v v v v

 

 

 


A gentleman was dining in a swank New York French restaurant. The
elderly waiter brought the soup, and the gentleman noticed that
the waiters thumb was deep in the bowl. Then came the boeuf
Bourgognonne, the waiters thumb also deep in the lush wine
sauce. The gentleman became angry, but held his tongue... after
all, it WAS a very swanky restaurant. For dessert he had a large
bowl of strawberries, fraise de bois, with liqueurs and cream,
but this time, no waiters finger.

So the gentleman said, "WHY do you put your thumb in the soup and
the boeuf but NOT in the strawberries?"

The waiter answered, "Because I have arthritis very badly, and
the warmth helps my thumb."

The diner, now realy angry, screamed, "You should take your dammed
thumb and ram it up your ass!"

And the waiter said, "THAT, I do in the kitchen!"


 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Tony had come over from Italy a short time ago and his English was
not very good. His wife had a bad case of crabs in her pubic hair,
so Tony went to the drug store and asked the clerk, "My wife,
she has'a bugs in the bush".

The clerk though that Tony's wife had insects in her garden and
gave Tony a bottle of insecticide, told him to use one tablespoon
per gallon and spray the bushes and that would get rid of the
bugs. Tony took the insecticide home and thought the infestation
in her pubic hair was so bad, he would spray it on straight out
of the bottle. Several weeks later Tony was in the drug store and
the clerk ask him, "How are the bugs in the bush doing?"

Tony said, "The bugs, they are gone, my wife's bush is all gone,
too. By the way did you hear about my neighbor Joe?". "He had a
beautiful mustache and it all fell out and do you know Joe up and
died last week. My wife she is very sad about Joe dying."

 

 

 

v v v v v

 






Gardening Tips - The  Helpful Gardener
Italy is said to have some of the best cuisine in the world and, at the heart of that cuisine are their famous herbs.

Growing your own organic Italian herb garden is sure to be rewarding and delicious. Whether indoors or outdoors,

as additions to your vegetable garden or on their own, Italian herbs are a delight to both grow and eat. _read  more

Moss in the City :: National Gardening Association
Change is the air — literally. As the seasons shift and winter gives way to spring, it's time to assess and evaluate. I

n the garden, this may mean planning a complete renovation. Gardens are not static museum pieces.

Your space should reflect you, and you are not stagnant. Your inspirations and motivations change, 

and so should your gardens. 
Spring is the perfect time for a garden makeover.

 

v v v v v



             The Top 7 Menu Items at a Hollywood Deli            


7> The Scarlett Johansson: Melons with a side of ham.

6> The Madonna: Served hot, but a little lean and not too fresh.

5> The Angelina Jolie: Baby back ribs served with baby carrots
    and baby Portobello mushrooms, served on a bed of baby greens.

4> The Uma Thurman: Long leg of lamb.

3> The Jack Nicholson: Marinated, aged pork on rye, served atop
    spring chicken.

2> The Affleck: First course is a bland bowl of chowder; second
    course is a younger, more flavorful bowl of chowder.


    and the Number 1 Menu Item at a Hollywood Deli...


1> The Ice-T: Ironically enough, just a cup of hot black coffee.

 

v v v v v


 

 Husband: "How about a little action tonight, honey?"

Wife: "Over my dead body!"

Husband: "How else?"

 

 

v v v v v






Sterling Silver  Designer Pet ID Tags, Custom Dog Tags and Horse Jewelry by Bella Tocca
Pretty tags for your BFF

Unique specialty shop for dogs and cats
Fun stuff for your pets and for you


Dogla - Home of the finest hand  crafted leather dog collars and leashes
Beautiful hand crafted things for our pets!

Help 4 Pets
You won't have to worry if your pet gets lost and this tag
is around his or her neck!

 

 

v v v v v

 

 



A Jewish boy was walking with his girlfriend on the grounds of
his father's house. His father was a success- ful doctor, and was
carrying out a circumcision in the on-site surgery. As they were
walking, they heard a scream and a foreskin flew out of the window
and landed at the girl's feet.

"What's this," she asked.

"Taste it," he replied, "If you like it, I'll give you a whole one!"

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 


Linda, whose daughter had just given birth to a beautiful,
healthy baby, showed up for a lunch date looking less cheerful
than Beth expected.

"What's wrong," Beth asked. "Are you depressed by the fact that
you're a grandmother?"

Linda responded with a barely perceptible smile. "No," she
said. "It's just that I'm not crazy about having to sleep with
a grandfather."

 

 

 

 

v v v v v







Removing Film and Scum
     Use a piece of very fine plain steel wool to remove
film from the shower stall.

Porcelain Cleaners
     Lighter fluid will remove most dark, stubborn
stains from sink and bathtub
    
Yellowed Bathtub
Restore whiteness to a yellowed bathtub by
rubbing with a salt and turpentine solution.

     Cleaning Shower Doors
     Rub glass shower doors with a white vinegar dampened
sponge to remove soap residue.



v v v v v

 

 


While in the men's room at a beach park in Florida, I noticed they
had a plastic baby-changing table installed on the wall.

Apparently, some sportsmen had co-opted this politically correct
amenity for their own use. Above the table was a sign reading:
"It is unlawful to clean fish on this table."

 


 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Dick brings a friend to play golf with two of his regular
golf buddies. His buddies ask him if his friend can play golf,
and Dick replies, "He's really good" The new guy hits his first
tee shot into the bush, so his buddies look at Dick and say,
"You said your friend was a good golfer!"

Dick says, "Just watch him play."

They see the ball fly out of the bush onto the green, where the
new guy takes two putts and makes an easy par.

On the second hole, a par 3, he hits the ball into the lake. The two
buddies look at Dick again and say, "You said this guy was good."

Dick replies, "Just watch, he's a great player.

The new guy walks right into the lake after his ball. Three minutes
pass and there's no sign of him. sudden they see a hand come out of
the water, they tell Dick to dive into the lake to save his friend,
because he's drowning,

Dick replies "No...that just means he wants a 5-Iron!"

 


 

 

 

v v v v v



 


HealthGate Condition Explorer -- ThirdAge
This is an interactive tool to help you determine what condition you might have.
Very up-to-date!

Half of Americans at Risk for Pre-Diabetes_ (http://www.lifescript.com/channels/healthy_living/Health_Conditions/half_of_americans_at_risk_for_pre-diabetes.asp?utm_campaign=2007-12-04&utm_source=living-with-diabetes&utm_medium=email&utm_content=tip-of-day_half-of-americans-at-risk-for&VID=4195&FromNL=1
In light of a mounting national diabetes epidemic, one study estimated that up to a full half of Americans are at risk for developing a  pre-diabetic condition that can raise the risk of full-blown type 2 diabetes.  Conducted by researchers at the National Institutes of Health, the study predicted that fully 50% of Americans will develop a diabetes precursor known as insulin resistance if current trends are not reversed. In addition to raising the risk of type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance is one of the key symptoms of  "metabolic syndrome," a condition also characterized by obesity, high cholesterol

(http://www.lifescript.com/channels/healthy_living/Health_Conditions/half_of_americans_at_risk_for_pre-diabetes.asp?utm_campaign=2007-12-04&utm_source=living-with-diabetes&utm_medium=email&utm_content=tip-of-day_half-of-americans-at-risk-for&VID=#)  and high blood pressure (http://www.lifescript.com/channels/healthy_living/Health_Conditions/half_of_americans_at_risk_for_pre-diabetes.asp?utm_campaign=2007-12-04&utm_source=living-with-diabetes&utm_medium=email&utm_content=tip-of-day_half-of-americans-at-risk-for&VID=#) . Researchers also estimated that obesity rates, pegged at 30%, will continue to rise in conjunction with diabetes risk.

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Barack Obama called Hillary today to thank her for distracting
everyone away from the whole crazy pastor thing. Obama's campaign
is all about hope - hope Hillary keeps saying stupid crap and
getting herself in trouble.

 

 

 

Craig Ferguson

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 



The ER resident began his examination by asking his patient,
"Now, sir, what brought you to the hospital?"

 

The man replied, "An ambulance."

 

 

v v v v v

 






 

*submitted by*

sammy563@gmail.com


Daily Email Newsletter - Funniest Video of the Day  

(http://www.funnieststuff.net/viewmovie.php?ad_key=AAJFURUSWTNG&tracking_id=908683&id=686)

 

*submitted by*

BADVETTE87

Daily Email Newsletter - Funniest Video of the Day
Funny video -- comedian tells you why you shouldn't mix alcohols



v v v v v

 

 

 

 

 The start of the new school term always brings out the most
interesting questions for computer consultants on campus. The
predominant questions this term pertain to "getting into" E-mail
and how to access the "Information Highway."

An obviously distraught student came into the consulting office
yesterday complaining that his E-mail wasn't working; his attempts
to get tickets for an on-campus concert kept resulting in returned mail.

He showed me the mail address he was attempting to reach. I asked
him where he obtained such an unusual mail address.

He replied, "The sign told me, 'begins@7:30 P.M.'"

  

v v v v v


 




It must be tough being a gigolo. Not only
do you have to be physically capable of
servicing many women a day, but whenever
you tell people how you earn a living,
they do a David Lee Roth impression.
(Tim H. Richweis)


If there's one thing I like better than seeing
a couple of rock-hard nipples poking through
the fabric of a pink sweater, it's seeing
a couple of rock-hard nipples poking through
the fabric of a pink sweater on a WOMAN!
(Tristan Fabriani)


They say that from the moment he leaves
the vagina, a man spends the rest of
his life trying to get back in. Well,
THEY should be ashamed of themselves.
That's his friggin' Mom for Christ's sake!
(Sebastian P.)


I'll tell you one thing for sure: If you spend
enough time studying pictures of Bettie Page,
you'll understand why they're called  "bangs."
(Richard Skora) 



v v v v v


  
 
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious
woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today,"
she said.

"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

 

 v v v v v

 

As prima donnas go, rock stars are second only         
           to cats. So when we learned that there was a          
         group called Band of Horses, we got to wondering        
          what concessions a band of actual horses would         
              demand in their performance contracts.             


 
       The Top 9 Backstage Demands of a Band of Horses         


9> NO GELDING.

8> Two teams of Budweiser Clydesdales for security.

7> A bowl of 40 cored green apples from Harry and David in each stall.

6> Steroid-laced salt lick carved in the shape of Ruffian.

5> All "comfort staff" must start drinking mint juleps at 8am and
    wear big-ass hats.

4> Dressing rooms mucked out every hour on the hour.

3> The stallions are to be rubbed down by no fewer than four (4)
    Hooters waitresses; the mares get four (4) Chippendale
    dancers.

2> Feed bags: RED. Poo bags: BLUE. Get it right this time, idiots.


    and the Number 1 Backstage Demand of a Band of Horses...


1> Some really good quality grass.


 

v v v v v


 
 

 

Click here: TLC Casting for a Woman Who "Does Not Need a Man to Be Complete"

 

http://womensissues.about.com/b/2008/03/21/tlc-casting-for-a-woman-who-does-not-need-a-man-to-be-complete.htm

 

The forum is an active place where typically a lot of heated debate happens. And today a TV :

production company working on a series for TLC has turned it into an open casting call. Here's what they want
 

v v v v v




RECIPE:  LEMONY BAKED FISH   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

INGREDIENTS:  
1lb. fish fillets of your  choice  
1/4 cup chicken broth  
4-6 lemon  slices  
20 sprays of immitation butter spray   
1/8 tsp. pepper  
1 tbsp. dried parsley   

DIRECTIONS:  
Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Arrange fish  in a 9x13" baking  
dish. Top with remaining ingredients. Bake  fish, uncovered,  
for 10 minutes per inch of thickness, or  until fish flakes  
easily with a fork.   

Yield: 3 servings            

 

v v v v v

 

 

 

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 Technically, Spring began on March 20th.            
           Either it slept through its alarm, or Spring          
           is deliberately dissing Mother Nature. We're          
                pretty sure it's the second one...               


The Top 7 Signs Spring Couldn't Give a Tinker's Damn This Year  


7> Let's start with Fort Lauderdale filled with hot college babes
    in overcoats...

6> It ran over Punxsutawney Phil with a lawn mower.

5> Spring changed her favorite color from green to an
    icky-gray-brownish-kinda-thing.

4> Does Spring realize how hard it is to have an Easter Egg Hunt
    in the snow? Especially when you're too damned lazy to dye  them!

3> March really did come in like a lion. It just laid around
    under a tree and waited for the female months to do all the
    killing for it.

2> Geese are not flying in a "V" but in a shape which looks
    suspiciously like a raised middle finger.


              and the Number 1 Sign Spring Couldn't              
                Give a Tinker's Damn This Year...               


1> The first robin of spring stayed south and just posted a video
    of himself on YouTube.



v v v v v






 
Myrtle Beach Breeze

Scale ingredients to servings
1 1/2 oz light rum
1 1/2 oz Malibu® coconut rum
3 oz pineapple juice
1 oz cranberry juice


Fill any 'ol glass with ice. Add all ingredients. Stir. Enjoy.



Sex On Daytona Beach


Scale ingredients to servings
1 oz vodka
1 oz peach schnapps
3 splashes grenadine syrup
1/4 oz heavy cream
4 oz pineapple juice


Blend ingredients by shaking well.



 

v v v v v

 



CAULIFLOWER SOUFFLE   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

INGREDIENTS:  
1 medium cauliflower, cut into  florets  
2 tablespoons butter  
2 tablespoons all  purpose flour  

1 cup milk  
salt & pepper  
ground  nutmeg  
4 eggs, separated  
1 cup strong cheddar  cheese, grated  

DIRECTIONS:  
Cook cauliflower  in boiling, salted water until tender,  
drain well and   mash. Melt butter in medium saucepan,  
blend in flour and cook,  stirring over  medium heat until  
bubbly; do not let mixture  brown.  Meanwhile, bring milk  
to a boil in another  saucepan. Add hot milk to butter-flour  
mixture and cook,  stirring over medium heat until sauce  
thickens and is smooth.  Season to taste with salt, pepper  
and nutmeg. Remove from heat.  Lightly beat egg yolks and  
stir into sauce. Stir in cheese and  cauliflower until  
smooth. In a large bowl, beat egg whites until  stiff but  
not dry. Fold cauliflower mixture gently but  thoroughly  
into beaten egg whites.  Pour into a buttered 2  quart  
souffle dish. Bake in preheated 350F oven for 30 to  40  
minutes, or till puffed, firm and lightly browned.  Serve  
at once.  

Yield: 4-6  servings  

 

 v v v v v

 

 

Did you hear about the fan violence in Italy at soccer  
games? The fan violence in Italy at soccer games has gotten  
so bad, the teams are forced to play in empty stadiums.  
Empty stadiums! And so now, it's just like United States soccer."

 

Dave Letterman  

 

v v v v v







submitted by:  BADVETTE87
movies769
Wow!  Don't miss this -- seriously

submitted by:  pavanco1@embarqmail.com
HDR creme - share, look,  vote 
HDRcreme is the first HDR photo gallery that let you share  photos, explore and learn about High dynamic range imaging. 

HDRcreme is a free image hosting service. Add your photos and  rate the best ones!

Breakfast - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Typical breakfasts by world regions

OpenOffice Calc Tips » Blog Archive » Toolbar Crazy
I’m not a big user of the OpenOffice Calc toolbars - but I was curious what  it would look like if I activated them all…
You can enable/disable a particular toolbar with the View - Toolbars  menu option.

As you can see, it can get quite crowded if you unable them all! In the next installment, I’ll introduce you to some of them.  A must see!!

The Sci Fi  Sounds Quiz_
How much of a Sci-Fi geek are you?  Identify sounds from science fiction movies and tv

The Math Clock for Geeks | Walyou
This clock presents the hours by different mathematical equations, so it  would have made my life simply horrible.

\The equations seem fairly easy for me  now, but there is one that appears to be a little more complicated than the rest  of them: the 5th hour,

for it adds the “factorial” into the mess.

Soundsnap.com: Find and Share  Free Sound Effects and Loops
Sounds to upload - browse by category

 YouTube -  What song is this?_
The entire song is sung backwards!  Can you guess what song it is?

Click here: Miss Bimbo, virtual fashion game! - MissBimbo.com

http://www.missbimbo.com/

Have you seen this site?  It's been all over the media

 

 


v v v v v

 

 

 

   Bad come-on lines are a dime a dozen.              
              "I'd really like your dress... on my               
              bedroom floor," for example. But this              
              crew has scrounged for really, really              
             smarmy ones, bless their "You had me at             
                        'go away'" hearts.                       


   The Top 9 Really Bad Lines to Get a Person Into Bed with You  


9> "Your panties aren't my most favorite thing in the world. But
    it's right next to it."

8> "Let me be perfectly honest with you: I find you very
    attractive, AND I've got a full 10 minutes before I have to
    give my presentation."

7> "If you shut off the Golf channel, I'll let you play my back nine."

6> "I've heard you have a weapon of mass destruction."

5> "Let's try to beat my record of 2.3 seconds."

4> "Let's pretend you're my ex-wife and do something she really hated."

3> "If you wear your Peyton Manning jersey tonight, I'll play
    center and you can try a quarterback sneak on me."

2> "All the guys on the chess club said I'd never get to mate.
    Help me prove them wrong."


               and the Number 1 Really Bad Line to              
                Get a Person Into Bed with You...                


1> "I don't respect you now, but of course I'll respect you in
    the morning."

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

v v v v v




A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if "hard on"  
was hyphenated.  

The chaplain replies, "What in heaven's name are you writing  
home about!"  

The young boy says, "I'm telling Mom and Dad about the pro-  
ject we worked so 'hard on'."  

 


 


v v v v v

 

 

My father is so old that when he was in
school, history was called current affairs.

 

 

 

v v v v v

 






Checking for Windows Vista Add-Ons and Parasites
Your computer might have some uninvited guests called parasites
and add-ons . . . and Vista can help you detect them. Parasites
and add-ons are programs that have been installed, usually
without your knowledge, and usually through Internet Explorer,
that don't benefit you in any way. More


 Instant Messenger Virus ~ Chris Pirillo
Michael Downing emailed me to say that a friend of his  had gotten a virus through Windows Live Messenger.

He is wondering if Windows  Defender can remove it, and is it for stopping viruses… or just spyware? 

Windows Defender  is just for certain types of _Spyware,  and it should be your last line of defense, not the first. A bit better bet is  _Windows Live One Care_.

Within a few days of this recording, the  newest version of this is due out.

It starts around $50.00 a year, and is a bit more comprehensive than this last version.

Let’s hope it works much better, as well. However, I’m not going to get into the whole “what protection programs should you use?” debate.

I’ll turn that over to all of you in just a moment. 
Let’s look at a couple of ways you can keep yourself safe from viruses sent through

Instant Messenging  programs:



v v v v v

 

 

 A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the  human race appear?'

The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had
children and then all mankind was made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the  same question.

The father answered, 'Many years ago  there were monkeys from
which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother  and said, 'Mom, how
is it possible that you told me the human race  was created by
God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is  very simple. I told you
about my side of the family and your father told you about his.

 

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 

 A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a tramp steamer to be trained as a helmsman.

He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel.

In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it.

Then the mate orders, "Come starboard."

Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm

and walks over to his instructor.

The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently

considering the circumstance, he asks politely,

"Could you bring the ship with you?"



v v v v v





by deb



Run
by Ann Patchett



"It's a winter evening in Boston and the temperature has drastically dropped as a blizzard approaches the city.

On this fateful night, Bernard Doyle plans to meet his two adopted sons, Tip the older, and more serious and Teddy,

the affectionate dreamer, at a Harvard auditorium to hear a speech given by Jesse  Jackson. Doyle, an

Irish Catholic and former Boston mayor, has done his best to keep his two sons interested in politics,

from the day he and his now deceased wife became their parents, through their childhoods, and now in their lives as college students.

Though the two boys are African-American, the bonds of the family's love have never been tested. But as the snow begins to falls,

an accident triggers into motion a series of events that will forever change their lives"


This is at its very center, a novel about what truly defines family and the lengths we will go to protect our children. 

I really liked this book -  easy read and it was so easy to picture in my mind everything that was  happening in the book. 

I recommend it.

 

 

v v v v v

 



"Last night in New York, Elton John held a fundraiser for  
Sen. Hillary Clinton. The concert was a huge success raising  
$2.5 Million for Hillary's campaign. Elton sang all of his  
biggest hits for Hillary — except for 'The Bitch is Back.'"  

 

 

 

Conan O'Brien  

 

 

v v v v v

 




"Golf is a national pastime in Scotland. It's the same as  
baseball here. Except the balls are dimpled. Well, they're  
dimpled in baseball too...but that's the steroids."  

 

 

 

 

Craig Ferguson  

 

 

 

 

v v v v v





And Now, Some Mac Fun
Adapted From: Mac OS "X" All-in-One Desk Reference For Dummies

 

 

Try this little joke on your family, friends, or co-workers: Use the Mac OS X Grab utility to take a snapshot of your Desktop with a number of windows open (or an error dialogue box with an OK or Close button), and then save the image to your Pictures folder. Select the image as your Desktop background, and watch others go crazy trying to click those windows! For your archenemy, try the same trick on his Mac! Arrange a slightly embarrassing Desktop on his computer, specify it as the background, and sit back while the fun begins. (Perhaps a Web browser open to a somewhat unusual Web site?)

 

 


v v v v v

 

 

 Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?


Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 

submitted by:  MMojoy

 

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.

One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, In Jenny's room. Its bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.

Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, Okay then how will you live?

You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny.

Again, Bruce instantly replies, Our allowance. Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week.

That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine.

Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this. Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out.

I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?

Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, Well, we've been lucky so far.

Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.

 

 

 

v v v v v

 







 

v v v v v

 

submitted by:  tomjan357@windstream.net

 

 A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his
hoohoo. According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend
found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used
petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his hoohoo while he was asleep.

I don't know what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.
2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your hoohoo.
3) Or finding out your hoohoo fits through your wedding ring.

v v v v v

 


  One night a father was helping his son with his homework.
   The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?"

    His son pondered for a minute and replied, "Spinach?"

 

v v v v v





Broccoli Cornbread

Tailgate Chili for a Crowd


Roll-Up Appetizers for a Crowd




v v v v v

 


LINQUINI WITH ASPARAGUS & PESTO  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

INGREDIENTS:  
1 pound fresh asparagus  
3 fresh basil leaves (or dash of dry)  
1/4 cup grated parmesan cheese  
1/4 cup chopped pecans or walnuts  
1 small clove raw garlic  
1/4 tsp. salt  
3 tbsp. olive oil  
8 ounces Linguini  

DIRECTIONS:  
Cook spaghetti al dente and drain. Add one tbsp. olive  
oil to hot drained Linguini. Place remaining oil and  
asparagus and all other ingredients in blender. Blend  
smooth and serve over linguini.  

 

 

v v v v v

 

 


  BOATING magazine runs a contest for clever boat names. 
  Reeling in the honors have been Sir Osis of the River,
  Aqua Seltzer, Out to Launch, and a lawyer's boat called
  Watertight Alibi.  Other winners:  Meals on Reels, The
  Merri Yot, and, from a landscape contractor, Yard Buoy.

 


v v v v v

 



Les Savy Fav at Bowery Ballroom -- Live Show Review: Les Savy Fav -- Les  Savy Fav Live in NYC: Reviewed 
  'Words cannot describe a Les Savy Fav show better than WOW. And I mean it, in all its expressiveness.

Les Savy Fav, a loud, dramatic, unforgiving rock band is back with their new album in 6 years, Let's Stay Friends,

and came to New  York City's Bowery Ballroom to show the crowd just how serious they were about rockin' the venue.'

 *submitted by*
sammy562@gmail.com

Gene Vincent...Be Bop A Lula

2.
Jimmie  Rogers..Kisses Sweeter Then Wine (http://www.kowboy.com/fiftys/rogers/)

 

 

v v v v v




SPRINGTIME SALAD  

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

INGREDIENTS:  
6 C mixed fresh greens; rinsed, dried and town into pieces  
1/2 C dried cranberries  
1/2 C raisins  
1/2 C roasted sliced almonds  
1/2 C gorgonzola cheese; crumbled  
12 large grapefruit sections  
4 large fresh strawberries; rinsed and sliced  

DIRECTIONS:  
Place 1 1/2 cups of the mixed greens on each salad plate.  
Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of each of the next four ingredients  
on top of the greens. Arrange 3 of the grapefruit sections  
in a spiral on top of the greens and fan 1 sliced strawberry  
in the center of the grapefruit sections. Serve with the  
following dressing.  

FOR DRESSING...  

INGREDIENTS:  
1 cup sugar  
3 teaspoons ground mustard  
1 teaspoon salt  
2/3 cup rice vinegar  
1/4 cup chopped white onion  
2 cups extra-virgin olive oil  
2 tablespoons poppy seeds  

DIRECTIONS:  
In a blender or food processor, combine sugar, ground mustard,  
salt, rice vinegar, and onion. With the motor on, slowly add  
vegetable oil in a slow, steady stream; whirling until dressing  
is smooth and has a creamy texture. Add poppy seeds and blend  
thoroughly. Store, covered, in refrigerator. Serve at room  
temperature. Makes approximately 3 cups dressing.  

 

 

 

v v v v v

 



"I hate to be the one to remind you, but it is tax time.  
Are you ready? Well, you know when something like this  
happens New Yorkers always try to put the best face they  
can on a situation. For example the hookers in Times  
Square, for an extra $50 they will handle your extension."  

 

David Letterman  

 

v v v v v

 





DownShift      
This download manager starts with the basics, letting you schedule, 
pause, and resume downloads. Other features include user name and 
password storage, several file management options that let you store 
downloads in different folders, and FTP searching. The vendor says
that  it speeds downloads, and that does seem to be the case.   
Kim Saccio-Kent  

Version: 1.2  
Price:  Shareware; $25   
Operating Systems: Windows 2000, Windows  XP  

ZoneAlarm for Vista
The advantage of the ZoneAlarm firewall over the built-in Vista
firewall is that ZoneAlarm will only allow those programs you 
specifically ok to access the Internet. 
http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,65012/description.html?tk=nl_picks


Glary  Utilities
GLARY UTILITIES  cleans common system junk files, invalid registry entries and Internet traces, 

manages and delete browser add-ons, analyzes disk space usage and finds  duplicate files.

View and manage installed shell extensions, encrypt files from  unauthorized access and use,

split large files into smaller manageable files and  then rejoin them. Optimize memory, find, fix, or remove broken Windows 

shortcuts, manage the programs that start at Windows startup and uninstall  software.

Other features include secure file deletion, an Empty Folder finder  and more.

Download free at http://www.glaryutilities.com/gu.html#.

I like this program a lot

 

 

v v v v v

 

 


 

submitted by:   BADVETTE87

 

 

 

 To make it stand,  
you wet it ! 
 

To make it wet,      
you suck it !
 

To make it stiff,       
you lick it !
 

To get it in, 
You push it!  
 
 
Damn !


                                            
Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!  

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 

submitted by:  ron_stott@yahoo.com

 

 

 

An older man was grocery shopping with his grandson. The toddler was crying and at times screaming at the top of his lungs.

 As the old gentleman walked up and down the aisles, people could hear him speaking in a soft voice.

 "We are almost done, Albert ... Try not to cry, Albert ... Life will get better, Albert."

 As he approached the checkout stand, he gently brushed the toddler's tears from his eyes and said again, "Try not to cry, Albert ... We'll be home soon, Albert ."

 As he was paying the cashier, the toddler continued to cry and a young woman in line behind him said,

"Sir, I think it's wonderful how sweet you're being to your little Albert."

 The old gentleman blinked his eyes a couple of times before saying,

 "My grandson's name is John.  I'm Albert."

 

 

 

v v v v v

 



STAINED GLASS JELLO TORTE   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*   

INGREDIENTS:  
1 package lemon or orange jello   
1 package lime jello  
1 package cherry, raspberry, or  strawberry jello  

Filling:  
1 package  unflavored gelatin  
1/4 cup cold water  
1 cup hot  pineapple juice  
2 cups whipping cream  
1/2 cup  sugar  
1 teaspoon vanilla  

Crust:   
2 dozen graham crackers  
1/2 cup soft margarine   
1/2 cup sugar  

DIRECTIONS:  
For Jello:  Make the three kinds of jello, dissolving each in  
1 and 1/2 cups  hot water. Set into separate square or cake  
pans, for thin layer  of jello and chill until firm, or overnight.  

For Crust:  Crush graham crackers. Mix with butter and sugar.  
Line a  spring-form pan or pie dish with mixture. Set aside  
some of the  crumb mixture, this will later be used as a topping.  
Place the  graham crumb base in the fridge so that it starts to   
harden.  

For Filling: Soften unflavored gelatin in cold  water; dissolve  
in hot pineapple juice. Whip cream, adding sugar  and vanilla  
when almost whipped, while pineapple-gelatin mixture  is cooling.  
When cool, fold into whipped cream.   

Cut flavored jello into small 1/2 inch cubes; fold into  filling.  
Pour into pan over crust and sprinkle with remaining  crust  
mixture. Chill six to eight hours or  overnight.  

YIELD: Apx 16 Servings  





v v v v v

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 



"News from the Pentagon: Soldiers can now live together if the're
married. I don't know if that's a good idea. Can you imagine being
under constant attack from a hostile enemy then having to go out
and fight the terrorists?"

 

 

Craig Ferguson

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Fred Moyer complained constantly of indigestion. His wife finally
talked him into seeing their physician. Fred was told to drink
a cup of hot water every morning.

Upon hearing this, Fred exploded, "I've been doing that for
thirty-five years. Only my wife Wilma calls it coffee!"

 

 

 

 

v v v v v






submitted by:  DeVulcano

 

Friendships Flower

http://www.mamarocks.com/friendships_flower.htm

 

2. 

~*~ The Smiley Face ~*~

http://www.spiritisup.com/thesmileyfaceyc.html

3.

~*~ As I Wake Each Morning ~*~

http://www.spiritisup.com/asiwakeeachmorningse.html

 

v v v v v

 

 

   Want to know if your divorce isn't going            
             to be a walk in the park? We have kindly            
                 come up with some clues for you.                


 
    The Top 9 Signs Your Divorce Isn't Going to Be Pretty      


9> On her Facebook.com survey, you are running neck-and-neck with
    Hitler in the popularity poll.

8> She's sawing the house in half, because a line down the middle
    just won't satisfy her. Well, nothing ever DID satisfy her.
    Except her Pilates instructor. Hence the divorce.

7> He keeps singing endless verses of "I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am."

6> The judge doesn't seem to be buying your claim of complete
    fidelity during your marriage. She also closely resembles
    someone you picked up in a bar a couple months ago.

5> You wouldn't normally be worried about him coming back from
    Home Depot with all those bricks for a basement project. But
    he's become such a Poe fan lately.

4> The person delivering the summons is looking for "Lying,
    Cheating Jackass Johnson."

3> She files change of address forms that list your new residence
    as "a refrigerator box under the bridge."

2> You spy a copy of "Lorena Bobbitt: My Story" on her
    nightstand, and when you open it, you see it's inscribed with
    "You go, girl!"


    and the Number 1 Sign Your Divorce Isn't Going to Be Pretty...


1> A block-long line of fifteen year old boys is standing outside
    your door with flowers, condoms, and fliers reading "Good for
    One Free Lay from Slutty Mrs. Duncan at 415 Oak Street."

 

v v v v v

 


A woman was doing the laundry in the apartment buildings
basement. She had just finished washing and drying one load and
was getting ready to start another load when she decided to wash
the nightgown she was wearing.

She took it off and placed it in the washer. Now she is naked and
preparing to take the freshly cleaned clothes upstairs when she
noticed her son's football helmet lying on the shelf. She grabbed
the helmet, placed it on her head, picked up the clean clothes,
and turned around.

There stood the Maintenance man who quickly said, "I don't know
which team you are playing for ma'am but I sure hope you win".

 

v v v v v

 








PC World - First Aid for Your Hard Drive

You're doing okay, right? Your computing life has settled down; your machine is stable;

and you haven't even considered upgrading to Microsoft's Windows Vista.


Then--oops! You spill coffee on your notebook.

(Oh, you don't think that's possible? Read Amber Bouman's "_Laptops and Liquids Don't Mix

 Or maybe there's a storm and a power surge fries your PC's hard drive.


One of our Windows experts, Scott Dunn, has marvelous advice on moving the folders that hold your data files

off your Windows XP or Vista drive to simplify backups. You can read it in "_Keep Your Data Safe by Reorganizing Windows'  Folders"
I also have advice from PC World experts about what to do if your hard  drive crashes--and you don't have a backup.



v v v v v

 

 

 

 submitted by:  BADVETTE87

 

 

 

 

A woman says to her mother, "I'm divorcing Sheldon! All
he wants is anal sex and my rear end is now the size of
a 50 cent piece when it used to be the size of a 5 cent piece."


Mother says "You're married to a multi-millionaire
businessman, you live in an 8 bedroom mansion, you drive
a Ferrari, you get $3,000 a week allowance, you take 6
vacations a year and you want to throw all that away
for 45 cents?

 

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 






Gas Saving  and Emission Reduction Devices Evaluation | Cars and Light Trucks | US EPA

Shown below are downloadable test reports for specific products that EPA  tested under the Aftermarket Retrofit Device Evaluation Program,

also known as  the "511 Program." EPA evaluates aftermarket retrofit devices which are claimed 

to improve fuel economy and/or reduce exhaust emissions. The purpose of the  program is to generate,

analyze, and disseminate technical data; EPA does not  approve or certify retrofit devices.




v v v v v

 

 

 


The Down Side of Cubicles:  



* Being told to "Think outside the box"' when I'm in the  
fucking box all day?  

* Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first  
seeing who is behind me.  

* Fabric cubicle walls do not offer much protection from  
any kind of gunfire.  

* That nagging feeling that if I press the right button,  
I will get a piece of cheese.  

* Lack of rafters for the noose.  

* My walls are too close together for my hammock to work right.  

* Women: Damned near impossible to adjust your bra or slip  
without comment.  

* Men: Co-workers tend to stare when you take your pants off.  

* 23 power cords, 1 outlet.  

* Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds.  

* When tours come thru, I get lots of peanuts thrown at me.  

* Can't slam the door when you quit and walk out.  


 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 

 

 President Bush is rehearsing his speech for the Beijing 2008
Olympic Games.

He begins his remarks with "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!"

Immediately his speech writer rushes over and whispers in the
President's ear: "Mr. President, those are the Olympic rings. Your
speech is underneath!"

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 



 


True Love Is A Treasure
http://www.spiritisup.com/trueloveisatreasureegg.html


Love Flash PAGE 2

http://www.spiritisup.com/crayon.html



Dropping You A Line To Say I LOVE YOU!

http://www.spiritisup.com/linelove.html



 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Sally came running in from school. "Mommy! Mommy! At show and
tell, Little Johnny showed us something that's six inches long,
and has two nuts, and can make me very fat!"

Horrified, her mother asked, "Sally! What on earth did he show you?"

Sally replied, "Little Johnny showed me his Almond Joy!"

 

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Charley, a new retiree greeter at Walmart, just couldn't seem to get
to work on time. Every day he was 5, 10, sometimes 15 minutes late.

But he was a good worker, really tidy, clean shaven, sharp minded
and a real credit to the company and obviously demonstrating their
"Older Person Friendly" policies.

One day the boss was in a real quandary about how to deal with it.

Finally, he called him into the office for a talk. "Charley, I
have to tell you, I like your work ethic, you do a bang on job,
but your being late so often is quite bothersome."

"Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it."

"Well good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's
odd though, your coming in late. I know you're retired from the
Armed Forces. What did they say if you came in late there?"

"They said, 'Good morning, General. Tea or coffee this morning, sir?'"

 

 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 


Weekend Getaways


Greater New Orleans  

In the Southeast corner of Louisiana, at the toe of the  
pirate's boot, lies the Greater New Orleans region and  
the city of New Orleans -- undoubtedly one of the most  
talked about, sung about and written about cities in  
the western world. This is not a place you simply visit,  
this is place you fall in love with. And what a love  
affair it is!  

Cajun Country  

Stretching across the Gulf of Mexico and up into South  
Central Louisiana, is the region known as Cajun Country.  
Here, along the breathtaking bayous, the first French  
Canadians settled in and forever changed the landscape  
and culture of our state. Resourceful, stoic and  
inventive, these were the people who turned soup into  
gumbo, washboards into musical instruments, and made  
the swamp a mystical paradise.  

Plantation Country  

The history of Louisiana truly comes to life in Planta-  
tion Country, located in the Southeastern region of the  
state. Come wind your way across the Atchafalaya Basin,  
through the rolling hills of St. Francisville and along  
the Great River Road that begins just west of New  
Orleans as you travel back to the 1800's. Throughout  
this area there are famous, sprawling antebellum planta-  
tions that offer tours of the property, gardens and  
homes.  

Crossroads  

Crossroads aptly gets its name by being at the cross-  
roads of two of the most historic trails in Louisiana-  
the El Camino Real and the Natchez Trace; thus, giving  
visitors a taste of all things Louisiana -- not the  
least of which is our famous Southern Hospitality. For  
a sample, you'll want to visit Natchitoches, the  
inspiration for the movie and play Steel Magnolias,  
where the women had big hair and even bigger hearts.  
Home to the author, Robert Harling, it is also home to  
some of the South's most charming bed and breakfast inns.  

Sportsman's Paradise  

Thick, piney woods that flourish with wildlife. Lush  
rolling hills. Clear, sparkling lakes abundant with  
bass and trout. Mysterious bayous fingering from the  
rivers. This is Northern Louisiana. Sportsman's  
Paradise - and heaven for birdwatchers, nature  
photographers, campers and anyone who has ever pulled  
a 16 pound bass out of Caney Lake.  

 

 

v v v v v


 

The son of Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius is
       peddling a board game titled "Don't Drop the Soap,"
           a prison-themed game he created as part of a
       class project at the Rhode Island School of Design.


           
      The Top 16 Prison-Themed Games


16> Battlesnitch

15> Solitaire-y

14> Not-Guilty-By-Reason-of-Insanity Eights

13> Caught-With-the-Nose-Candy Land

12> Ewww-NOOOOOO!

11> Convictionary

10> Sorry! The Parole Hearing Game

9> Worst Case Scenario: 12-Man Shower Edition

8> Backrammin'

7> Shanks and Ladders

6> The Game of Lifers

5> Aryan Brotherhood Super Nahtzee

4> Shivial Pursuit

3> Operation -- Rectal Contraband Edition

2> Monotony


    and Topfive.com's Number 1 Prison-Themed Game...


1> Where in the Yard Did Carmine Stab Diego?

 

v v v v v

 




Debsnewsletter - Archives
http://www.debsnewsletter.com/archives.shtml

 

 

v v v v v

 

 The other day my boss told me, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I
replied, "Well, there's also no 'I' in 'How would you feel about me
taking you out to the parking lot and beating you like a rented
mule for using tired corporate- speak cliches?'" Technically
speaking, there were several "I's" in my response, but by then,
my boss had pretty much forgotten all about the spelling part of
the conversation.

 

v v v v v



Be careful if you flip the bird to a proctologist: You might be
inadvertently giving him the secret fraternal high sign.

 

v v v v v




Signal Map - Find the best cell phone coverage in your area, or add your  own cell phone signal to the map.
SIGNAL MAP locates user-generated  cellphone signals from major service providers. By entering the desired  address,

you can see what others have reported with their cellphone  experiences. Add your own signal if desired.

The free service is at  http://www.signalmap.com

Superior VFW joins the Cell Phones For Soldiers effort

The Missoulian - Missoula,MT,USA
Since then, Cell Phones for Soldiers has raised almost $1 million indonations and distributed more than

400000 prepaid calling cards tosoldiers serving ...

Accessories for the New Cell phone Samsung SCH-U410
PR-USA.net (press release) - Varna,Bulgaria
Chargers are the basic need for the cell phones. Chargers help tomake battery full,

so that you can talk your friend for long hours....


v v v v v

 

 Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea.

"I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me
terribly nervous."

"My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But
I broke him of the habit."

"How?"

"I hid his teeth."


 

v v v v v

 


They don't really want us to know it, but I'm sure that companies
that design bathroom fixtures all have at least one guy whose job
is to design fake poo for testing purposes.

 

v v v v v







The Infoplease Crossword Puzzle: The Beatles
http://www.infoplease.com/xwords/beatles.html


Play Finders Keepers on Games.com
http://www.games.com/game/finders-keepers/
Join Floyd Finders and his trusty sidekick Goldie in more than 150 levels of 
aquatic adventure for all ages! Collect treasure, fish and special trinkets to
help reunite lost loves, all while trying...

_Click here: World  Golf Tour™ - PGA.com Charity Challenge sponsored by TaylorMade Golf
The World Golf Tour PGA.com Charity  Challenge is back. (click the banner above to start)
Hosted at the beautiful Bali Hai Golf Club. TEE OFF for a chance to win a 

TaylorMade Burner Driver and other WGT gear.
    *    There are some brand new closest to the pin challenges. 
    *    Watch out for the gusts of wind and the champion cut greens. 
    *    We also have a brand new leaderboard to track your progress.
If you register to play the 9 hole challenge you will also be entered onto  our BETA email list and we will automatically

give you access to our next closed  beta and contact you with the details. If you already have an account do  nothing, you are already on the list.
If you want to see our previous winners please go to our blog or click _HERE.


v v v v v


 
As an artist, I believe there is a finite amount of beauty in
the universe; to create beauty in your art means you must remove
beauty from something else, achieving a balance. My boss told me
I had to clean my desk anyway.

 

 v v v v v



If I could have dinner with any three famous people from throughout
history, it would definitely be Socrates, Descartes and Sartre,
because obviously, if I actually invited my first choice -- the
Three Stooges -- it would only turn into a food fight.

 

v v v v v

 

 Jimmy Carr quotes:

 



* In the pursuit of scientific answers, animals have been tortured
for the past 100 years. They're still not talking. I'm starting
to think they don't know anything.

* Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one
that's disappointed? Still no superheros.

* My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't
help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.

* The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's
that old women are so very ugly.

* I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think
that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.

* I've got a friend; she's got a theory. She reckons that the way
to drive a man wild with desire is to nibble on their earlobes
for hours on end. I think its bollocks.

* I hate those e-mails where they try to sell you penis enhancers. I
got ten just the other day. Eight of them from my girlfriend. It's
the two from my mum that really hurt.

* I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She
said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

* My mum told me the best time to ask my dad for anything was during
sex. Not the best advice I'd ever been given. I burst in through
the bedroom door saying "Can I have a new bike?". He was very
upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.

* When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When
I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

* My favorite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I
supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign
saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky."

* When I was a kid, I used to have an imaginary friend. I thought he
went everywhere with me. I could talk to him and he could hear me,
and he could grant me wishes and stuff too. But then I grew up,
and stopped going to church.

* Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise
so much money, I could afford a taxi.

* A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She
said, "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said,
"All right, but we won't get much done."

* Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her
back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"

 

v v v v v







Vista Quickies
Quick Tip #1:  Resize Desktop Icons with Your Mouse
I'm sure you're all aware  that Windows Vista supports three default sizes of desktop icons, whereas 

Windows XP only supports one. But, the real reality is that Vista can support  even more than that,

with just a simple scroll of the mouse. Follow these  directions to resize your desktop icons quickly and easily: 
1.) Click on the icon you  want to resize. 
2.) Hold down the  Ctrl key on your keyboard. 
3.) Next, just start  scrolling your mouse wheel. 

Voila. Your icons  instantly change to whatever size you need! 

http://www.worldstart.com

 

 

 

v v v v v

 


If I had known it was going to last so damned long, I would have
started my mid-life crisis a whole lot sooner.

 

v v v v v



Self-defense tip: If you're ever about to be mugged by a couple
of clowns, don't hesitate -- go for the juggler.

 

v v v v v

 


It's been said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac. It's true,
women love guys who have power. They also seem to enjoy running
water and central heating.


 

v v v v v

 

 

 

v v v v v

 


A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He
walks up to the driver's window and asks, "You drinkin'?"

The driver said, - "Well that depends - You buyin'?"

 

v v v v v

 


While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing
out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights
lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other
Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the
wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take
off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just
announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts,
we're taking off!". No one saw her for the rest of the flight to
Houston, and all the other Stewardesses were laughing all the way
and so were half of the passengers.


 

 

v v v v v

 

 

 

 


 

 

Click here: http://www.rudefun.com/pictures/animated/11.gif

 

"Unsubscribe me please"!
Here!

Dude, we totally forgot!
Here!

...Shave, you disgusting bastard!
Here!

Wish we were blind!
Here!

We can fix it...
Here!

Will Work For Head
Here

Honey, Got there yet?
Here!

His last erection
Here!

You knew I was an asshole
Here!

Asstoids
Here!

Hidden message
Here!


v v v v v

 

 Rockin' and  Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty, expressed or implied, with regard
  to featured products or services.  Results may vary based on operating
  systems and other variables beyond our control
  


  
 
v v v v v
 
 
 
  Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the making!  So meet us back
  here next week, same time - same place
 
  but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
  never,
  ever,
  EVER
  forget to
 
  keep on rockin'
  it's a state of mind
 
 
 
 
v v v v v
 
  ©1999 - 2008 - Deborah Austin -  All rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'
 
 
v v v v v