Rockin' and Rollin'

   Editor: DebsSweet
Graphic Editors: Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
   CrispySue, kittykab
Children's Book Editor: Amanda260
Internet Security Editor: DebsSweet

PORN

The Naughty Links

I have given this a lot of thought - and while I have gotten some positive feedback
about this and zero negative I am still wary to put those links on my
site and this is why: A lot of the porn sites out there carry
viruses, keyloggers and all kinds of crap you don't want on your computer - and
I don't either. You see, I have to go to those sites to get the URLs. While
I have lots of programs to protect me against malware, etc, I just
don't know that all of YOU do. For now - I will post links that you have probably
all seen before - as have I, *yawn*. Keep me in mind if you happen
by some sites that others might like that are naughty!

Your PC is full of crud, junk, and gunk that harms performance, clogs up your
hard disk, and makes system crashes more likely. Some of the junk came with your PC
Check out Haute Secure in the DOWNLOADS section below.

Be careful when surfing the Internet. I have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in working
order as of this posting. Always be aware of the risks out there and keep current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!

If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an email
to me, deb@debsnewsletter.com and your request will be handled promptly.

Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to ROCK AND ROLL!

and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild ride!

"My favorite thing about debsnewsletter.com is: Deborah Austin
It's really the most complete newsletter on the internet. It has more of eveything and
I look forward to every issue. Your newsletter is so user friendly and you allow
your subscribers to participate. You have to best graphics by far. The people
you have working on this with are fantastic.
Now you know none of this has anything to do with the fact that (I Love My Deb).
I feel connected with you and that my dear makes all difference.
Keep Them Coming,
Love Ya,
Larry"
BADVETTE87

"I have to be honest; I don't check out every link, or read every word of
the newsletter. I do look through it though. If there is something that
catches my fancy I check it out. That's what is so great about the letter.
There is usually something there for everyone. I have read some great
articles that have been beneficial, such as in the computer links. I look
forward to each weeks letter just to see whats up. The comments you make at
the beginning of each newsletter are interesting also. I think it is an all
around good thing you have going. Don't change a thing.
In your words
KEEP ON ROCKIN'
Fred"
FCUEBALL13

*My favorite thing about debsnewsletter.com is: It has so much to pick from, funny
stuff, interesting stuff, teach me stuff, and of course some AC stuff.
*My least favorite aspect of debsnewsletter is: It has no flaws, its just right"
SHAYNABUTTONS

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*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com

A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.
The other night, during a deep sleep, the man yelled, "Fore!"

His wife, also in a deep sleep and not missing a beat, yelled back, "Four fifty!"

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"Hillary Clinton fainted during a speech. She's fine but what I
don't understand is why Bill Clinton was giving mouth-to-mouth to
her assistant."

Craig Ferguson

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At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see
who had been married longest. It turned out to be my husband and
I. The DJ asked us, "What advice would you give to the newly-married couple?"

I said, "The three most important words in a marriage are,
'You're probably right.'"

Everyone then looked at my husband. He said, "Yeah, she's probably right."

v v v v v

   Click here: How to Teach Your Bird to Talk
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/aVZ
The first step to teaching your bird to talk is to bond with your
feathered friend, and form reasonable expectations of him.
Not all bird species can talk, and even those that have the ability sometimes
choose not to use it. To determine is your bird is a good candidate for speech
training, do a bit of research on your pet's species. Some birds are known to
be better talkers than others, so you shouldn't expect your pet
to say more than he or she is capable of.

   Click here: Freeze-Dry and Raw Commercial Cat Foods
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/aVc
   Raw cat food advocates have long sworn by the health benefits of feeding
cats raw, as Nature intended. Because of the fears generated by the pet food
recalls of 2007, more and more cat caregivers are considering feeding their
cats raw diets. Rather than taking chances with recipes that might be nutritionally
unbalanced, difficulties sourcing supplements, these commercially prepared freeze-dried
or frozen raw cat foods are offered as a convenient alternative.

   Click here: Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show 2007
http://glclk.about.com/?zi=15/3mIE
The nation's top canine competitors strutted their stuff at the 2007 Westminster
Kennel Club Dog Show at Madison Square Garden. See photos of these
amazing animals in the show ring and backstage

   Click here: Finicky Dogs: How to Encourage Your Picky Dog to Eat
http://clicks.aweber.com/z/ct/?43lIPj64TNhR8mfexAFgVA
When we think of dogs eating habits, we imagine a pooch that will gobble up
just about anything. However, this isn't always the case. Some dogs will turn
up their nose at a good meal. Do you have a dog that is a picky eater?
What's up with the dog who turns up his nose at the food you feed him anyway?
Aren't dogs supposed to be crazy about eating? Is a dog who is a
finicky eater normal? What can you do about it?
A finicky eater may be a sign of a bigger medical problem or just a personality
quirk. There is even the possibility that you are encouraging your dog's picky eating
habits. Do you know how to tell what exactly is going on with
your dog? Read our article and get the facts!

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YOU MIGHT BE IN A "REDNECK" VOLUNTEER FIRE DEPARTMENT IF....

Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over
for drag racing ... on the way to a fire.

Your firehouse has wheels.

Fire training consists of everyone standing around a bonfire,
swapping fishstories and drinking.

You've ever let someone's house burn down because they wouldn't
let you hunt on their property.

You don't own a Dalmatian, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.

You've walked through a Christmas display and came up with at
least three new ideas for the lighting scheme on your fire truck.

Your engine had to be towed in the last parade through town.

Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing.

Your defibrillator is a pair of jumper cables and a marine battery.

Your pumper truck has been *on* fire more times than it's been *to* a fire.

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Paul was not the brightest guy around. Every day, when he walked home from
work, he would get stopped by three nasty men who would beat him up and
steal his money.

Finally, Paul decided that it would be smart to walk a different route, but
he also decided to take some self-defense classes.

He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well with it.
So, one day Paul confidently decided to take his old route home.
Sure enough, there they were.

The next afternoon, Paul went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken
nose and a busted lip.

His instructor was shocked and asked for an explanation.

"Well," explained Paul, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat
those guys up who used to steal my money."

His instructor said, "What happened?"

Paul replied, "They jumped me before I could get my shoes and socks off!"

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You know that "Check here if blind" box on your tax form? You can
get a great deduction by using that, but it's a trap. NEVER check
inside that box. I put my check over by the margin...better to
miss by an inch or so.

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*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com

Cleaning Kitchen Countertops

Use a mild dishwashing liquid for plastic lamination and
rinse well afterwards to prevent residue from getting on food.

Cleaning Vinyl Floors

Mop with a mild detergent and wait awhile to allow it
to penetrate the ground-in dirt. Cleaning Safety Tip
Don't mix cleaning products like ammonia and bleach.
They can be toxic.

Cleaning with Automatic-Dishwasher Detergent.

Automatic-dishwasher detergent works well on refrigerators,
stoves, floors, walls and glass. Dissolve 1/4 cup in one
gallon of very hot water. Wipe with a dry cloth afterward.
Wear rubber gloves and test first to make sure that what
you're cleaning is colorfast.

Glassware

Use the bartender's method for speedy stemware washing.
Holding the base, pump the glass vigorously in very hot
sudsy water, then quickly pup it in hot clear water (cooler
water may shatter it) Dry upside down on a cotton towel.
For extra-shiny, streakless glasses, add a little vinegar
or borax to the final rinse water. If glasses have hard-water
stains, rub them with a scouring pad dipped in vinegar.
* Never use hot water, harsh soaps, ammonia or washing soda
on silver or gold-rimmed glasses. A well-lathered shaving
brush cleans deeply etched or hobnailed glass especially
well. If eggs have dried on your patterned glass tableware,
rub off the residue with a slice of lemon.

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When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was
assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in
a Military Intelligence unit.

One day a long memo came around with a cover sheet instructing all
assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their
compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it.

BUT a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An
attached note read: "You are not permanently assigned to this unit
and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials
and initial your erasure."

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As my date stormed off, I was rather relieved I hadn't yet invested
much in a relationship with a woman who didn't even understand that
"voluptuously chunky" was a compliment.

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LEMON ZUCCHINI-SQUASH SAUTE

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 med. zucchini, 1 pound cut lengthwise into quarters,
then into 1 1/2 inch pieces-about 2 cups
2 yellow squash, cut diagonally into 1/4 in slices
1 clove garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest

DIRECTIONS:
In large nonstick skillet heat oil over medium-high heat.
Add next 6 ingredients and cook about 6 minutes or until
tender, stirring occasionally. Stir in juice and zest,
remove from heat.

YIELD: 6 servings

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The Top 13 Updated Answers to "Where Do Babies Come From?"

13> "I'll put it this way: Ever seen one of the movie 'Alien'?"

12> "Recycled dead people."

11> "Hell, if I knew that, you wouldn't be here, now, would you?"

10> "From artificially inseminated bohemian ostriches. Now can
   I watch SportsCenter in peace?"

9> "One day your mother was working in the lab, when she was
   bitten by a radioactive baby."

8> "I know this much, son: Mommy tenses up whenever *I* try to
   go in there."

7> "I personally believe that U.S. American babies are adopted
   from, um, other nations like such as uh, South Africa, and
   uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and I believe that
   they should, uh, our babies over here in the US should
   help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able
   to build up our future, for us."

6> "Jesus kicked you out of Heaven because he wanted some quiet."

5> "Mommy texted 'O' to Daddy and he texted back 'O~~~' and nine
   months later you appeared on the cell phone bill."

4> "Just a minute, I'll show you. HONEY, CAN YOU COME IN HERE
   A MINUTE?"

3> "Every once in a while there's a stem cell that isn't needed
   for anything else."

2> "When two people love each other very much, one slides his
   foot underneath the partition of the bathroom stall and
   a short time later the policeman delivers him a present."

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Updated
Answer to "Where Do Babies Come From?"...

1> "Well-trained dingoes."

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*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com

Little Johnny was at his first day of school.

The teacher told the class they always started the day with the pledge of
allegiance. He instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts
and repeat after him.

He looked around the room as they recited... "I pledge allegiance to the
flag..." When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand was over the
right cheek of his buttocks.

"Johnny, we will not continue till you put you hand over your heart."

Johnny replied, "It is over my heart."

After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the
teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?"

"Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me
here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and my Grandma wouldn't lie."

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*submitted by*
BADVETTE87

One morning, three Southerners and three Northerners were in a ticket counter
line at a train station. The three Northerners each bought a ticket and watched
as the three Southerners bought just one ticket.

"How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the Yankees.

"Watch and learn," answered one of the boys from the South.

All six boarded the train where the three Yankees sat down, but the
three Southerners crammed into a toilet together and closed the door.

Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around to collect tickets.
He knocked on the toilet door and said, "Ticket, please."

The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in
hand. The conductor took it and moved on.

The Yankees saw this happen and agreed it was quite a clever idea; indeed,
so clever they decided to do the same thing on the return trip and save some money.

That afternoon when they got back to the station, they bought a single ticket
for the return trip and watched, while to their astonishment, the three
Southerners didn't buy even one ticket.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asked a perplexed Yankee.

"Watch and learn," answered the three Southern boys in unison.

When they boarded the train, the three Northerners crammed themselves into
a toilet and the three Southerners crammed into
another toilet just down the way.

Shortly after the train began to move, one of the Southerners left
their toilet and walked over to the toilet in which the Yankees were hiding.

The Southerner knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."

Now, there's just no way on God's green earth to explain how
the North ever won the Civil War.

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Tips For A Rose Room

* Plant hedge roses 2 ft. apart for a fast-growing "wall."

* Pick fragrant roses for focal points because when people
notice a beautiful rose, they then smell it.

* Choose filler plants in contrasting or softer, more
neutral colors.

* Train a climbing rose on an arbor or pergola by planting
with the canes slanting towards the structure.

* For a fabulous rose room on a balcony, plant miniature
roses and compact floribundas.

* White's the right flower color choice in a rose room you
can enjoy both day and night.

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A Duracell worker named Marge Created a sign that was large.
And just what did it say? "We are giving away dead batteries here,
free of charge."

Beforehand, I thought I could tell The give-away wouldn't go well.
It should be no surprise her attempt was unwise, because it was
quite a hard cell.

Testing charges is one of her quests. In equipment she greatly
invests. So in order to tell If it's good, every cell bhe subjects
to a battery of tests.

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Girl: "I know you really look like Napoleon Bonaparte."

Boy: "Great, isn't it?"

Girl: "Yes, but you differ in one aspect from him."

Boy: "And that is?"

Girl: "You have to put your hand in your own blouse."

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Drunk guy: "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before
the devil knows you're dead!"

Drunk girl: "What's that mean?"

Drunk guy: "It's an Irish toast."

Drunk girl: "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon."

Drunk guy: "Huh?"

Drunk girl: "That's French toast."

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What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Coughing up somebody else's phlegm.

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Click here: Tour the Registry Editor - WorldStart Computer Tips and Computer Help
   http://www.worldstart.com/tips/tips.php/1635
   We often tell you about using Regedit to change settings in the Registry.
Since playing in the registry should be done with caution, we tell you exactly
where to go and what changes you can make. But what do all those keys and values mean?
   Well, today I'm going to give a you a closer look at the Registry Editor and what the different areas are.
   The different folders in the left window represent keys in the registry.
   HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT
   This helps XP launch the right application when you open a file.
   HKEY_CURRENT_USER
   This is the configuration info for the user who is currently logged in. Your folders,
screen colors, and Control Panel settings are all there. This is your User Profile.
   HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE
   Here you'll find configuration info for the computer.
   HKEY_USERS
   This is the root of all user profiles where all user account settings live.
   HKEY_CURRENT_CONFIG
   This is where you'll find the hardware profile information
used by your computer at system startup.
   A key can contain sub-keys.

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YOU ARE NOT A REDNECK IF......

1. You don't pee in the sink.

2. Your wife is not related to you

3. Your car ACTUALLY runs.

4. You have a full set of teeth.

5. You passed the 5th Grade.

6. None of your brothers names start with Billy Bob.

7. Your house costed more than your car.

8. The shower is ACTUALLY being used.

9. You never saw Elvis.

10. You don't miss the $100 question on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire"

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I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent
a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

Rodney Dangerfield

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   Click here: Diabetic Fast-Food Tips: Watch for Trouble Words
http://www.lifescript.com/articles/6856.asp?BID=44484&SID=17053750&EID=6
108AB9D-21FB-40F3-89FA-FF1083EB2DCB&utm_campaign=2007-07-03&utm
_source=living-with-diabetes&utm_medium=email&utm_c
ontent=tip-of-day_diabetic-fast-food-tips-watch
Whether it's diabetes or heart health, allergies or religious considerations, people
on restrictive diets can face significant hurdles when it comes to fast food. For
diabetics and other populations with special dietary considerations, the American Dietetic Association
(ADA) recommends taking the time to learn about a fast food chain's options before your
visit. Professional dieticians at the ADA and elsewhere warn diabetics to watch for
troublesome keywords such as: bathed, breaded, creamy, dressed, fried, and rich.
More often than not, such marketing terms imply that the item contains added
starches, sugars and saturated and trans fats that are far from diabetic-friendly

   Click here: Vitamins Aren't Always Good for You
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5Dhn
   Taking a vitamin that contains beta-carotene could increase or decrease your
risk of developing colon cancer. Which it might do, depends on you.

   Click here: Burn 100 Calories in 10 Minutes
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5Dhl
While many of us think we're too busy to exercise, experts are busy taking
that little excuse out of the mix. We now know that short workouts (2 or 3
10-minute workouts throughout the day) can be just as effective as longer workouts.
The key is to focus on intensity and use your time wisely. The sample workouts
below offer a variety of cardio and strength ideas to get the most out of your exercise time.
Substitute exercises to fit your fitness level and don't forget to
cool-down and stretch after each workout.

   Click here: NutritionData.com NutritionData's Nutrition Facts Calorie Counter
http://www.nutritiondata.com/
   NutritionData will help you improve your diet. It breaks down
nutritional information on a variety of foods.
NutritionData lists foods you prepare at home. But don’t forget to check
out the fast food facts. It lists nutrition information for popular fast food restaurants.
You’ll even find information on that coffee you picked up from Starbucks this morning!

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Jewish Definitions


Putz: The male reproductive member, primarily used for urinating
and solitary amusement. Larger than a schmeckel. Similar to
a schmuck. A common term for male in-laws.

Schmuck: Yet another term for the male member, most often used
to describe a man with an attitude of arrogant stupidity. Nice
logic there, if you think about it. A common term for former
male in-laws and business partners.

Goyim: People who are Gentile. A polite term for anyone who
doesn't love a good bargain or has extra skin on his schmeckel.

Tattalah: An endearing term of love which means "little man".
An emasculating term for women to call men, if you think about
it. But who has time to think?

Gefilte Fish: A tasty mix of congealed fish parts and
transparent slime jelly. The only food it is permissible for
Jewish children to refuse. In some families, they may even
be allowed to gag, but politely.

Chaleria: A derogatory term which best refers to a female
business associate or a mother-in-law. The closest English
equivalent is "bitch."

Koorveh: A call-girl, or prostitute. A reference to the Russian
Czar's wife at the turn of the 20th Century, and to that flashy
shiksa your nephew married. Also known as Nafkeh.

Schmendrick: A man who messes things up, always loses and
feels miserable. An unfortunate asshole. Closely related to
Schlemazel and Schlemiell. Every Jewish family has at least
one, often named Irving.

Schlemiell: A jerk who can't do anything right. In simple terms,
someone who's always spilling his soup.

Schlemazel: The poor dumb putz a Schlemiell is always spilling
soup on.

Schmeckel: A guy with a small putz. A nothing. Usually your
ex-partner or ex-son-in-law.

Tsuris: A word referring to all problems, trouble, grief,
aggravation and heartache. Examples: daughter pregnant with
child of an unemployed Catholic bartender; adult son loses job
and moves back home.

Major Tsuris: Daughter and baby "Bridget" move back home too.

Kin-a-hora: A gleeful rejoice used when Jewish parents find out
their daughter is going to marry the Jewish surgeon rather
than that poor, unemployed goyishe laborer.

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*submitted by*
sammy562@msn.com
YouTube - Over 40/Taxi Driver Comedy By Aaron Wilburn
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F93FnL1t1uo)
Hilarious

Funny video
http://www.gibbleguts.net/clips/regisfarts.html

MySpaceTV Videos: Jay Leno & Paris Hilton Interview by Steve
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=2072963570
So funny!

v v v v v

*submitted by*
BADVETTE87

1.
An Carolina girl walks into the local dry cleaners.
She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon
to pick up my dress." she says.
"Come again?" says the worker, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies. "This time it's mayonnaise."

2.
Another Carolina girl was involved in a serious crash,
there's blood everywhere.
The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's
lying flat out on the road.
Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"

3.
An Indiana Girl enters a sex shop and asks for a vibrator.
The man says: "Choose one from our range on the wall."
She says "I'll take the red one."
The man replies: "That's a fire extinguisher."

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SWEET POTATO SOUFFLE

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
3 cups cooked whole sweet potatoes
1 cups sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1/3 stick margarine
1/2 cup milk
1 teaspoon vanilla

TOPPING:
1 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup flour
1 cup chopped pecans
1/3 stick margarine

DIRECTIONS:
Peel potatoes, slice and cook in water until tender. Beat
with electric mixer until smooth. Add margarine, sugar, salt,
eggs, milk and vanilla. Mix well (it looks thin). Pour into
a greased casserole dish and bake at 400 degrees for 35 minutes
or until it looks firm. Mix topping ingredients and cover top
of potatoes. Bake 10 minutes or until brown.

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Maternity Leave - Plan Sooner Than Later
http://womensissues.about.com/b/a/000018.htm?nl=1
Despite the fact that nearly 50% of couples marrying today will
eventually split up, you'd never tell a newlywed she should start planning now
for a possible divorce. That would be rude and tasteless
But a childless working woman nurturing the urge to become a mother should
look into workplace maternity leave policies - the earlier the better.
Seventy percent of women working at the time of their pregnancy opt for some
time off after childbirth.
So if you're thinking about getting pregnant in the near future, resist
picking up a baby name book. Instead, pick up your company's employee manual to
figure out what your options are.

Reproductive Rights and Issues
http://womensissues.about.com/od/reproductiverights/Reproductive_Rights_and_Issues.htm
A great divide exists in this country, fueled by the debate over
reproductive rights, contraception and prevention. Many thoughtful and
passionate arguments have been put forth by pro-life and pro-choice advocates,
and legislation has shifted back and forth over the years. Yet neither has seen
a firm resolution to the ongoing conflict over Roe v. Wade

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Driving home from church one Sunday, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station.
"How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about
lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts."

Knowing he preferred rock 'n' roll, the dad asked, "Well, what's your music about?"

"That's the beauty of it," the son said. "You just don't know!"

v v v v v

For the first few months of her job for a state government agency, Janet
had nothing to do, so she surfed the Web or did crossword puzzles.

One day she expressed her boredom to a co-worker.
"I know," she complained. "Everyone thinks state workers have it easy.
But there's only so much you can pretend you're doing."

v v v v v

YouTube - Christmas With a Capital "C"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAckfn8yiAQ

Christmas Wallpaper ~ Chris Pirillo
http://chris.pirillo.com/2007/11/17/christmas-wallpaper/
Ahhhh… the holiday season is upon us, whether you’re ready for it or not! We
spend a lot of time, money and effort decorating our homes. Regardless of which
holiday you may celebrate… I want to know how you deck your desktop

National Geographic Magazine
http://magma.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/ngm.html
This site really needs no introduction - but just in case - you'll
find animals, environment, history, maps, news, people and
places, photography and so much more!!

Hire a Hero
http://hireahero.com/
Not all networking sites are bad. Some provide a valuable service.
Hire a Hero is designed to help returning veterans find employment.
So, if you’re a vet, stop by Hire a Hero. You’ll find job listings and
military-friendly employers in your area. You can also connect with other
veterans through the forums and their profile pages.
It sure will make the transition back to civilian life easier!

TokBox: Talk to The World
http://www.tokbox.com/
Video phone calls have been the stuff of science fiction for decades. Of
course, we now have the technology to make video calls.
Not many people are jumping at the chance to use the technology. But the
   Internet might change that. TokBox lets you make free video calls over
the Internet. And there’s no software to install. You can place the call directly on TokBox’s site.
Or, you can embed the TokBox module on your social-networking page.
You can also put it on your personal site.
Oh! It even has voicemail-like features. If you can't reach someone,
leave a video message. It can be up to five minutes long

Pinkberry: Coming to a corner near you - Gadling
http://www.gadling.com/2007/10/23/pinkberry-coming-to-a-corner-near-you/
Looks good!

Top Five Products to Always Buy Generic - AOL Money and Finance
http://money.aol.com/top5/general/five-generic-products-to-buy
Are your weekly grocery shopping and drugstore bills getting out of
control? Don't fret. There are ways to trim those tabs by as much as
20% without shortening your shopping list.
The trick: switching from brand-name products to generic labels.
OK, so some may not come in a pretty bottle or be as tasty as your favorite
brands, but in many cases, the only thing that's
not premium about generics is the price.

YouTube - Broadcast Yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/youchoose)
The video-sharing site has a special section dedicated to the 2008 election.
On it, you can learn more about the candidates—Democratic and Republican.
Start by watching an introduction to each candidate. Then learn more about them,
including their stances on issues.
Or, click an issue to learn more about all of the candidates.
Once you watch the videos, you can add your two cents’ worth. Post a text
   comment. Or, break out the camcorder and create a video response.
Candidates are using this site to cultivate support. But, it remains to be
seen if they can convert online interest into real-world votes   kkomando.com

ashes and snow
http://www.ashesandsnow.org/
When you think of museums, you probably envision large buildings.
Or you might think of virtual museums on the Internet.
But you wouldn’t immediately think of Gregory Colbert's museum. It is a
travelling museum constructed from shipping containers. It has been on the road for several years.
The museum structure is amazing. And so is the work inside. There are large
photographs of people and animals together. Think elephants and cheetahs and falcons.
The photographs have a mystical quality that is difficult to describe. You
should visit Ashes and Snow and see for yourself. You can see many of the
photographs and watch parts of Colbert’s film.
You need the free Flash Player to view the enhanced site. It can be a little
difficult to navigate at first. But be sure to explore all the site has to offer. kkomando.com

JOURNEY OF MANKIND - The Peopling of the World
http://www.bradshawfoundation.com/journey/
You probably know that modern man originated in Africa thousands of years
ago. Well, it was over 160,000 years ago, to be exact.
But chances are, you don’t know how Homo sapiens came to inhabit the entire
globe. And you probably don’t realize the role climate played.
At this site, you can trace the migration of modern man. It follows
man from the cradle of civilization to the far corners of the world.
Along the way, you can read about supporting archaeological evidence. You can
also see how changes in climate influenced migratory paths.
But you might be wondering how the journey of man can be tracked. After all,
160,000 years is a long time. And, theoretically, archaeological artifacts could
have been left by different groups. Scientists have done DNA research. Amazing!
The free Flash Player is required to view this site. kkomando.com

v v v v v

*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com

Winters were fierce where the estate owner lived, so he felt he was doing a
good deed when he bought earmuffs for his foreman. Noticing, however,
that the foreman wasn't wearing the earmuffs even on the bitterest
day, the landlord asked, "Didn't you like the muffs?"

The foreman said, "They're a thing of beauty."

"Why don't you wear them?"

The foreman explained, "I was wearing them the first day, and somebody
offered to buy me lunch, but I didn't hear him!
Never again, never again!"

   v v v v v



You may be a redneck wheelchair user if:

* Any part of your chair is painted camo.

* You have a wheelchair up on blocks in your front yard.

* You use deck plating, steel mesh, or motorcycle parts as decoration.

* You rigged up a beer cooler powered off your chair batteries.
Double points if you don't care that it sucks your batteries dry
so long as the beer stays cold.

* You wear cowboy, biker, or work boots , even though they are a
bitch to put on and you can't walk anyway.

* You adjusted your headrest so it'll stop knocking off your hat.

* You installed a gun rack on back.

* Your joystick is a billiard ball, car stick shift knob, beer tap, or similar.

* You ever thought about jacking your chair up 2 or 3 feet.

* You have huge knobby mud tires installed.

* You installed a sound system so your chair will sound like a truck or hog.

* You installed a whip antenna just so you could fly the stars and bars!

* There is a 'Harley' decal or emblem permanently attached to your chair.

* You installed a CB behind or under your chair.

* You replaced your seat with a BarcoLounger.

* You found the above BarcoLounger at the side of the road.

* You named your chair 'Bubba', 'Junior', 'Daisy', or 'Killer'.

* There is some part of a deer decorating any part of your chair.

* You have ever thought about smuggling moonshine in the tubing
or battery compartment of the chair.

* You, while in your chair, ever made any roadkill.

* The accessories hangin' on the chair weigh more than the chair does.

* You browse truck catalogs looking for ways to soup up your chair.

* You want to add a side-car or a 'sweet little trailer'.

* You wear a 4 pound belt buckle that cuts into your stomach as you sit.

* The fringe of your jacket or strings of your bolo tie have ever
got caught in your wheels - but you wear it anyway.

* You regularly call up Harley Davidson and ask when they are
going to start making wheelchairs.

* You have spent more than an hour trying to figure out how to
hang fuzzy dice from your chair.

* You have transported livestock in your chair. Bonus points if
the livestock was bigger or heavier than you!

* You thought about, even for a second, trying to outrun a highway
patrol cruiser while in your chair.

* Duct tape plays a major role in your repair and maintenance plan.

* You really don't need a wheelchair in the first place, but you
thought it might help pick up chicks.

* You read this list and found yourself thinking, at any point,
"now that's a good idea!"



   v v v v v

   v v v v v

My daughter and her friend Karen, both in fourth grade, were reading their
report cards to me. Karen, very strong academically, read out her teacher's
comments, which said if she'd interact with all the students in class, she'd make
a "great role model."

"Darn!" Karen exclaimed as she looked up at me. "I wanted to be a vet!


   v v v v v

Jim was describing a 30 pound bass he'd caught recently after fighting it for three hours.
Stu interrupted the story saying, "I saw the picture you took of that fish.
You're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds."

Jim replied, "Well...a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting!"


   v v v v v






*submitted by*
DITZIEXX
CHRISTMAS COSMOPOLITAN

• 1/2 oz. Cointreau
• 1/2 oz. cranberry juice
   • 1 tsp. lime juice fresh
   • 1 oz. vodka
Place all ingredients in a shaker with ice.
Shake and strain into a chilled martini
glass. Option: To garnish, float a few
frozen cranberries after pouring.

Sweet and Sinful
A very sweet tasting drink but for all intents and purposes
its almost pure alcohol. Hence the name
1 1/4 oz Stoli® Razberi vodka
3/4 oz DeKuyper® Peachtree schnapps
1/2 oz cranberry-raspberry juice
1/2 tsp grenadine syrup
Chill cocktail glass, pour 1 1/4 oz of vodka into a
pint glass or speed cup. Add 3/4 oz of Peachtree schnapps,
and splash of cranberry juice for color.
Pour ice out of cocktail glass, rim it in colored sugar,
strain cocktail into the glass and lace with grenadine.

Fuzzy Cooter
2 shots vodka
2 shots peach schnapps
orange juice
ginger ale
lemonade
Add the shots, and fill the rest with ginger
ale, lemonade, and orange juice to taste.


   v v v v v

I stopped at a fast food restaurant recently. I was fascinated
by a sign which offered fat free french fries. I decided to give
them a try. I was dismayed when the clerk pulled a basket of fries
from the fryer which were dripping with fat. He filled a bag with
these fries and put them in my order.

"Just a minute!" I said. 'Those aren't fat free."

"Yes, they are. We only charge for the potatoes. . . . The fat is free!"

v v v v v

*submitted by*
SweetSugarPieMe

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days
   interesting. We really have no trouble in finding interesting things to do.

For example, the other day I went downtown to go to the newsstand for
the Wall Street Journal so I could track my investments. I was only in there for
about 5 minutes. When I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

I said to him, "Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break"?

He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi."

He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires.

So I called him a "doughnut eating Gestapo."

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.

Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The
more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Personally, I didn't care..... I came downtown on the bus.

The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary in '08."

I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

v v v v v



by deb

The Zookeeper's Wife

by Diane Ackerman

"Nature is patient, people and animals fundamentally decent, and the writer,
as she always does, outlives the killer—that is the message of The
Zookeeper's Wife. This is an absorbing book, diminished sometimes by the
choppy way Ackerman balances Antonina's account with the larger story of the
Warsaw Holocaust. For me, the more interesting story is Antonina's. She was not,
as her husband once called her, "a housewife," but the alpha female in a unique
menagerie. I would gladly read another book, perhaps a novel, based again on
Antonina's writings. She was special, and as the remaining members of her
generation die off, a voice like hers should not be allowed to fade into the silence"

A wonderful book that is both historical and so very interesting. The ending was
powerful. Ackerman has unveiled another great moment in the histories of human
kindness during times of war, and we are the richer for it.
You should read this book.


v v v v v

*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com

The kindergarten teacher asked the students in her class to bring something
related to their families' religions to class the next day.

She asked for volunteers to show what they had brought to the rest of the
class. One boy came forward and said, "I am Muslim, and this is my prayer rug."

Another child came forward and said, "I am Jewish, and this is my Star of David."

Another came forward and said, "I am Catholic, and this is my Rosary."

The last little boy came forward and said, "I am Southern Baptist, and this
is my Covered Dish."

v v v v v

A guy walks up to a girl in a bar and says
"Hey, baby...want to sit on my face?"

She says "Why would I? Is your nose bigger then your cock?"

v v v v v







Click here: WiFi Security 101
   http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/1R4/Wa&sdn=netsecurity&cdn=compute&tm=
10&gps=114_460_1193_850&f=00&su=p284.8.150.ip_&tt=14&bt=1&b
ts=1&zu=http%3A//netsecurity.about.com/c/ec/13.htm
   Wireless networks are popping up everywhere and the exponential growth doesn't
seem to show signs of stopping anytime soon. For home users, the ability to network
computers at opposite ends of the house without having to figure out how to run
CAT5 cable all over the place is very appealing. At coffee shops and college
campuses and everywhere in between wireless networks are being created. As
your confidential, private and personal information is being beamed from point A
to point B though, how do you ensure that nobody else intercepts it? If any computer
with a wireless network card can connect to your access point, how do you
ensure that prying eyes aren't surfing around your network?



   v v v v v

"Because my client is uncertain which of the two men with whom she
lived concurrently is the father of her child, Your Honor," stated
the lawyer, "she seeks to combine them as joint defendants in this
legal action."

"So what she is really filing," commented the judge in a wry
tone, "is a paternity suit with two pair of pants."

v v v v v

Tips

Area Code:

Have a number come up on your CallerID you don’t recognize, and
wonder where the heck it is from? Simply put the area code into Google.

The first result that comes up is for mapping the area of the country
that area code is in. The next several results will tell you more detailed
information about that area.

v v v v v

*submitted by*
BADVETTE87

After years of hope, a Sultan was blessed with the birth of a son. The boy
immediately became the apple of his father's eye.

Just before his sixth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, I love you very much.
Your birthday is coming soon. What would you like?"

The boy replied, "Daddy, I would like to have my own airplane."

His father bought him American Airlines.

Just before his seventh birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my pride and
joy. Whatever you wish for your birthday, it's yours."

His son replied, "Daddy, I'd like a boat."

His father bought him the Cunard Line.

Just before his eighth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you bring so much
happiness into my life! Anything you choose, I shall get for you."

His son replied, "Daddy, I'd like to be able to watch cartoons."

His father bought him Disney Studios.

Just before his ninth birthday, the Sultan said, "Son, you are my life. Your
birthday is coming soon. Ask for whatever you wish. I shall get it for you."

His son, who'd grown to love Disney, replied, "Daddy, I'd like a Mickey Mouse
outfit and a Goofy outfit."

His father bought him the Democratic Party and CBS News.

v v v v v




Apple Prints
http://mso.marthastewart.com/cgi-bin9/DM/y/jjlW0F7Ccc0Yzn0EeDX0En
Centerpieces
http://mso.marthastewart.com/cgi-bin9/DM/y/jjlW0F7Ccc0Yzn0EeDY0Eo
Crisps, Pies, and Tarts
http://mso.marthastewart.com/cgi-bin9/DM/y/jjlW0F7Ccc0Yzn0EeDZ0Ep
Green Apple Martini
http://mso.marthastewart.com/cgi-bin9/DM/y/jjlW0F7Ccc0Yzn0EeDa0Ew
Apple Spice Cake
http://mso.marthastewart.com/cgi-bin9/DM/y/jjlW0F7Ccc0Yzn0EeDb0Ex

*submitted by*
sammy562@msn.com
Visit with Santa Claus at
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0005.html

2. Visit with Santa Claus at northpole.com
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0001.html

3. Visit with Santa Claus at northpole.com
http://www.northpole.com/Kitchen/Cookbook/cat0002.html

   v v v v v



   *submitted by*
DITZIEXX

Peppermint Hot Chocolate

1 1/2 cups heavy cream
1 1/2 cups milk
1/4 cup sugar
1/8 teaspoon salt
6 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped
3 drops peppermint oil
Sweetened whipped cream, for garnish
Chocolate shavings, for garnish

In a saucepan, combine the cream, milk, sugar, and salt and heat over
medium-low heat. When the cream mixture just begins to steam, add the chopped
chocolate, and stir, until melted. Stir in the peppermint oil. Divide the hot
chocolate among mugs and top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.


   v v v v v



Click here: Transferring Photos to iPhoto
   http://glclk.about.com/?zi=5/3wpl
iPhoto is an outstanding application for storing and organizing your digital
photo collection. The first step in getting started with your digital camera and
iPhoto is to transfer photos from your camera to the iPhoto application.

   Publish Photos on the Web with iPhoto and .Mac
   http://glclk.about.com/?zi=5/3wpm
   If you have a .Mac account you can use iPhoto and HomePage to create
your own web page to share information and display photos.

Apple Macintosh iWeb - Compressing Digital Video for iWeb
   http://glclk.about.com/?zi=5/3wpn
   Before importing digital video to iWeb, you may wish to compress the video
so it takes up less storage space and loads more quickly. Follow these steps to
compress video clips before importing them into Movie templates in iWeb.



v v v v v

After the accident, I told the police officer I thought the
driver of the other vehicle was drunk. He told me the other
vehicle was a cow.

v v v v v

v v v v v

A Belgian guy watched a Dutchman in a cafe get the most beautiful girls
without any trouble, even though he did not look very nice.

Asked how he did this, the Dutchman said, "Well very easy, when I enter, I
toss the keys of my Rolls Royce on the bar and they just flock to me. Though I
am as poor as you, the keys do it."

So this Belgian guy buys a some nice Rolls keys and tries it also, but to no avail.

He asks the Dutchman for advice again: "Try removing your bicycle helmet first."

v v v v v

*submitted by*
SHAYNABUTTONS

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,
"Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord,
please don't let me be late!"

While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell,
getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She gotup,brushed
herself off, and started running again! As she ran she once again began
to pray "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please don't shove
me either!"

v v v v v

Debsnewsletter - Archives
http://www.debsnewsletter.com/archives.shtml

v v v v v

Everybody keeps saying that women are smarter than men, but did
you ever see a man wearing a shirt that buttons down the back?

v v v v v

A bar in NYC is installing a breathalyzer. If your drunk, it advises
you not to drive. If you're really, really drunk, it advises you
not to call your old girlfriend.

v v v v v

The new redneck father ran out of the delivery room and announced
to the rest of his family waiting for the news, "We had twins!"

The family was so excited, they immediately asked, "Who do they
look like?"

The father paused, smiled and said, "Each other."

v v v v v

   Click here: PC World - The 20 Worst Windows Features of All Time
http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,133191/article.html?tk=nl_cxasld
From Windows 95's Active Desktop to Vista's UAC, a loving tribute
to the tools, technologies, and applets that drive
us absolutely bonkers.

v v v v v

"A group of people here in California are fighting for the right
for women to be able to sunbathe topless in California. The name
of this group... guys."

Jay Leno

v v v v v

Experts in Washington say that if the coast guard's ships aren't
replaced soon, they will be unable to keep drugs and illegal
aliens from entering our country. God forbid that should ever
happen - imagine what this place would be like if illegal aliens
and drugs were able to get in here?

v v v v v

Mobile Phones: Are They Safe? -- ThirdAge
http://www.thirdage.com/news/articles/ALT02/07/09/28/ALT02070928-01.html)
_http://www.thirdage.com/news/articles/ALT02/07/09/28/ALT02070928-01.ht
ml_ (http://www.thirdage.com/news/articles/ALT02/07/09/28/ALT02070928-01.html)
The largest study of mobile phone safety finds no risk accompanying its
use. But scientists also said that it was impossible to rule out the possibility
that ill effects, including cancers, could emerge in long-term
users -- over 10 years -- in the future.

Children could be especially at risk because their brains are more
vulnerable, and the advice to limit children's use of mobiles should remain.

v v v v v

The Top 9 Signs Your Vet Is a Former Auto Mechanic, Part I

9> Car insurance is accepted for payment.

8> Always checks the tread on Rover's paws.

7> The clinic is called "Pet Boys" and his assistants are named
Manny, Moe and Jack.

6> Gives you a loaner dog while Rex is recovering.

5> Charges more for foreign breeds because it's so hard to get parts.

4> He's flat on his back on a dolly, sliding under your pet to do
the examination.

3> The overalls were one thing, but the pneumatic air tool is
another.

2> You come in to buy a bag of food and wind up buying about a
grand worth of useless service.

      and the Number 1 Sign Your Vet Is
a Former Auto Mechanic...

1> He comments that your dog has tags, but no title.

v v v v v

"It's graduation time in New York City and many of the students
here are honor students. Yes your honor, no your honor, not guilty
your honor."

Dave Letterman

v v v v v

v v v v v

A young Jewish man falls in love with a Native American woman and
they decide to get married. When his mother hears the news, however,
she is extremely distressed because she wanted him to marry a nice
Jewish girl. When she hears that not only is he marrying this Native
American girl but has decided to live with her on the reservation,
the mother becomes so upset that she refuses to even speak to the
boy, practically disowning him.

After a year, the son telephones the mother to tell her that he
and his wife are expecting a child. The mother is happy for him,
but there is still quite a bit of tension in the air.

Nine months later, the son calls the mother again. "Mom," he says,
"I just wanted you to know that last night my wife gave birth to
a healthy baby boy. I also wanted to tell you that we've talked
it over and we have decided to give the boy a Jewish name."

Upon hearing this, the mother is overjoyed. "Oh, son, this is
wonderful," she gushes. "I've been waiting for this moment all my
life. You have made me the happiest woman in the world."

"That's great, Mom," replies the son.

"And what," asks the mother, "is the baby's name?"

The son proudly replies, "Smoked Whitefish!"

v v v v v

The warning about hotel key cards has been out for a while now.

The warning, issued in an e-mail that's been flashing around
cyberspace, alleges that unscrupulous hotel operators have
been collecting credit card numbers and other personal
information on hotel keys.

Scary, huh? I received the warning in my e-mail last week.
It was forwarded to me by a savvy and trusted source.

A closer look, however, shows that travelers may not have
that much to worry about.

P.S. If you're interested you can now post comments on this
and recent issues on our forum at...
Travel Tips Forum

CARD KEY PARANOIA

The warning has apparently been circulating since October,
2003. Here's the email I, and probably many of you, have received:

“Southern California law enforcement professionals assigned to detect new
threats to personal security issues recently discovered what type of
information is embedded in the credit-card-type hotel room keys used
throughout the industry.

Although room keys differ from hotel to hotel, a key obtained from the
"Double Tree" chain that was being used for a regional Identity Theft
Presentation was found to contain the following the information: Customers name, partial home
address, hotel room number, check-in date and check-out date, customer's credit
card number and expiration date.

When you turn them in to the front desk, your personal information is
there for any employee to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel scanner.

An employee can take a handful of cards home and,using a scanning
device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go shopping at your expense.

Simply put, hotels do not erase the information on these
cards until an employee re-issues the card to the next hotel guest. At that time, the
new guest's information is electronically "overwritten" on the card and the previous
guest's information is erased in the overwriting process.

But until the card is rewritten for the next guest, it usually is kept
in a drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!!!!

The bottom line is: Keep the cards, take them home with you,
or destroy them. NEVER leave them behind in the room or room
wastebasket, and NEVER turn them in to the front desk when
you check out of a room. Take it home and destroy it by cutting it up,
especially through the electronic information strip!

Information courtesy of:

Sergeant K. Jorge, Detective Sergeant, Pasadena Police Department”

v v v v v

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.
She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited
and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing 747, she
started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts
shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."

She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit
hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out
and shouts "Be silent!"

There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at
the blonde and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence
for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started
shouting, "OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."

v v v v v

I always wear Fruit-Of-The-Loom shorts
and Hanes socks. That way, I support a
wider group of youngsters working overseas.
(Jerry L. Embry)

As I always say, "If you love someone,
set them free." But, man, they're a
bunch of haters on that parole board.
(Brad Simanek)

I think I would make a great life coach.
I'd give people suggestions like "Okay,
drive to work. I know you can do it!" and
"Now pick up your kids from school. Awesome!"
while cheering them on the whole time.
(Kim Moser)

v v v v v

Just as our son was learning to walk, my wife brought him to my
office. He staggered around awhile, then dropped to his hands and
knees and took off at top speed toward the office of the company
president. We grabbed him at the doorway, but not before he was
noticed by a co-worker.

"You know," said the employee, turning to my wife, "his father
goes into that office the very same way."

v v v v v

My husband was with me when I decided to buy something for our
daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, my husband
was feeling very out of place when this beautiful salesclerk sidled
over and asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner he asked,
"Where are the men's clothes?"

In a demure voice the salesclerk replied, "All of these clothes
are for men, sir."

v v v v v

   Click here: Joytube.com - Games
http://www.joytube.com/
Here is a list of all of the games at this site
Jewel Quest Solitaire II
http://www.gamehouse.com/gamedetails/?game=jqs2&navpage=download
games&utm_source=gamehouse-house&utm_medium=email&utm_content
=2007-11-08_link2&utm_campaign=newsletter_2007-11-08)
_http://www.gamehouse.com/gamedetails/?game=jqs2&navpag
e=downloadgames&utm_source=gamehouse-house&utm_medium=email&utm_co
ntent=2007-11-08_link2&utm_campaign=newsletter_2007-11-08_ (http://www.gameh
ouse.com/gamedetails/?game=jqs2&navpage=downloadgames&utm
_source=gamehouse-house&utm_medium=email&utm_content=2007-
11-08_link2&utm_campaign=newsletter_2007-11-08)
The ultimate card-matching, jewel-swapping adventure is back! Emma's husband
Rupert, the hero of Jewel Quest, has gone missing in the wilds of Africa.
Complete exciting solitaire layouts and match jewels in 114 all-new layouts to
help Emma track down her missing husband! A thrilling journey from marketplaces
to museums where mystery and intrigue wait around every corner, Jewel Quest
Solitaire II is an exciting combination of solitaire and puzzle fun! Embark on
this brain-bending adventure today!

The Scruffs
http://www.gamehouse.com/gamedetails/?game=scruffs&navp
age=downloadgames&utm_source=gamehouse-house&utm_medium=email&ut
m_content=2007-11-08_link5&utm_campaign=newsletter_2007-11-08
Help the Scruffs save their home in this original seek-and-find challenge! After Mr. Scruff
loses his job the Scruffs believe they have no choice but to sell their house and move
on. But, Grandpa Scruff reveals that he's hidden valuable artifacts throughout the Scruff
home and if they can locate them all they won't have to sell their family home! And, in a
surprising twist, Grandpa reveals he's hiding something else too - a shocking family secret!
Join the Scruffs on a scavenger hunt that will not only save the day, but will also
uncover the secret that will change their lives forever.

v v v v v

A crew of highway maintenance workers was sent to repair some road
signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first
one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing.

As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one crew
member looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway.

Turning to a co-worker he said, "I wonder how long he's been
waiting to cross?"

v v v v v

Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a
while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be
prayed over. Bubba gets in line. When it's his turn the preacher
says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray about?"

Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other
hand on top of his head and prays a while. After a few minutes,
he removes his hands and says, "Bubba, how's your hearing now?"

Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday."

v v v v v

*submitted by*
BADVETTE87

Eye -Talian

Why do Italians hate Jehovah's Wi nesses?
Because Italians hate all witnesses.

Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony?
On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said TO NY

You know you're Italian when . . . . You can bench press 325 pounds,
shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit
two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles
int! o a regular lunch bag.

Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant,
travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or on the same block.
All five of those cousins are named after your
grandfather or grandmother.

v v v v v

v v v v v

MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK

Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous.'

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

To err is human, to forgive is not company policy.

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but
there is always enough time to do it over.

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are
really good, you will get out of it.

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to
the number of pens that person is carrying.

No one gets sick on Wednesdays.

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse.

Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure.

v v v v v

PUMPKIN POUND CAKE w/CREAM CHEESE ICING

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
** Cake
2 cups plain flour
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons soda
4 eggs
1 tablespoon cinnamon
1 cup oil
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups pumpkin (16 oz can)

** Cream Cheese Icing
8 ounces cream cheese
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 box confectioners sugar
1 stick butter

CAKE DIRECTIONS:
Mix ingredients well. Grease tube or Bundt pan and bake 1
hour and 15 minutes at 350 degrees. Cool completely and frost.

ICING DIRECTIONS:
Let cheese and butter soften and mix with sugar and vanilla
and spread on cake.

YIELD: 1 Cake

v v v v v

"President Bush said today that immigrants that come to America
should learn English. He said, 'Hey, if I was moving to Canada,
I would learn Canadian.'"

Jay Leno

v v v v v

PC World - 20 Tools to Get the Junk Off Your PC
http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,136109/article.html?tk=nl_esxdwn
Your PC is full of crud, junk, and gunk that harms performance, clogs up your
hard disk, and makes system crashes more likely. Some of the junk came with your
PC, but much of it has accumulated over time, as a result of installing and
uninstalling programs, surfing the Web, and creating and saving files.

But things don't have to be that way: Downloadable software can clean up your
PC and give it a new lease on life. Check out these 20 files that will do the
job--your PC will thank you for it.

v v v v v

I had just moved to an address between Sunset Ave. and Sunset Blvd.,
one of Sacramento's major streets, and was explaining to a clerk
where my home was located for billing purposes.

"I live between Sunrise and Sunset," I told her.

"Oh, honey," she knowingly replied, "we all do."

v v v v v

   NOTE FROM CHRIS:

   A new Georgia Tech study says some Roomba owners
become emotionally attached to the robotic vacuum.
Some have named them, dressed them -— even introduced
them to parents. ("Honey, we really need to have a
talk about your new boyfriend. He... well, he sucks.")

The Top 12 Signs You've Become Too Involved With an Appliance

12> You keep the microwave's clock set to the exact hour and
minute you first spotted it in the Best Buy Scratch 'n' Dent section.

11> Ninety percent of your body is covered with *perfectly* round hickeys.

10> Your refrigerator is wearing a tiger-print thong and assless chaps.

9> Every time you walk by your fax machine, it spits out another
copy of the restraining order telling you to stay 500 feet away.

8> You saved a lock of its first carpet lint in a scrapbook.

7> The Radio Shack guys start stacking up the boxes of D-cells
as soon as you pull up outside.

6> "Do you, Frank, take serial #57-44521RV, to have and to hold..."

5> Sure, some people throw a toaster in the tub when it's plugged
in, but *you* leave it unplugged so it can safely enjoy
the scent of the lavender bubble beads you bought it.

4> When the UPS guy brought it to your house, you videotaped the delivery.

3> It's stored in a velvet-lined cabinet that's rigged to play
Ravel's "Bolero" whenever the door is opened.

2> Your doodle pad's covered with experimental "Mrs. Coffee" signatures.

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You've
   Become Too Involved With an Appliance...

1> Look, it's really quite simple: You're too involved if you
put something of yours inside it or vice-versa. Are we clear?

v v v v v

v v v v v

Considering that I live in the most technologically
   advanced country in the world, it's eerie how many women
   I meet who have disconnected phone numbers.

v v v v v

*submitted by*
BADVETTE87

The Marine General's inspection visit could not have gone better. The
General himself was personally skilled with firing weapons and, in the
past, had won every marksman award the Marines had to offer. While
working with one Marine, the General quizzed him how many rounds
should be fired at one time. "SIR! Six to eight, SIR."

"Very good, Marine. How do you calibrate that weapon to
fire six to eight rounds?"

The Marine hesitated a little bit, then said, "SIR! Would you be offended if I
told you how we calibrate our weapons when I was in the Fleet Marine Force?"

"No, of course not, son."

"SIR! We pull the trigger and say, 'Die,
mother fucker, die,' as it takes 6 to 8 rounds to say that."

v v v v v

*submitted by*
DeVulcano
~*~ Hanging Around ~*~
http://www.spiritisup.com/hangingaroundgmb.html

2.   ~*~ Good Morning ~*~
http://www.spiritisup.com/gmrms.html
Good Morning!

3. ~*~ Beary Best Friends ~*~
http://www.spiritisup.com/bearybestfriendsgmb.html

v v v v v

"Did you barbeque today? Over 100 million Americans barbequed
today - because the polar ice caps just aren't melting fast enough!"

Dave Letterman

v v v v v

In the summer hot and sticky,that's not the time for dunkin dicky.
When the frost is on the punkin,that's the time for dicky dunkin.

v v v v v

Hal is petrified of girls, so he asks his friend Lenny how he meets so
many nice chicks.

Lenny says, "I have a surefire method to feel them out. I go
up behind a girl and whisper, 'Tickle your ass with a feather?'
And when she turns around and asks what I said, I say,
'Typical nasty weather.'

If she smiles or laughs, I know she has a sense of humor, we chat, and
it all happens naturally. Try it."

The next night, nervous but desperate, Hal goes to a very
crowded bar, and sits in the corner, stewing, nursing a drink, getting
more uptight every second. Finally, he walks up behind the nicest girl
in the place, and after a few minutes of stammering, blurts out so
everybody can hear, "Stick my finger in your ass?"

She turns around and says, "WHAT!?"

He says, "It's freaking pouring outside."

v v v v v

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

v v v v v

v v v v v

God decides it's time he has a vacation. So he asks St. Peter for his
assistance. St. Peter says, "Why don't you go to Mercury?"

"Oh no!" says God, "I went there 25,000 years ago and got the worst
sunburn of my life."

St. Peter says, "How about Pluto?"

"Oh no!" says God, "I went there 10,000 years ago, broke my leg skiing."

St. Peter says, " How about earth?"

"Oh no!" says God, "I went there 2,000 years ago knocked up some Jewish
chick and I've been hearing about it ever since".

v v v v v

What's the definition of a computer nerd?

A man who knows 4,560 ways to have sex, but doesn't know any girls.

v v v v v

Speeding Tickets: States with the Worst Speeding Ticket Fines
http://autos.aol.com/article/safety/v2/_a/states-with-worst-speeding-tickets/2007
0829110209990001?ncid=AOLCOMMautoDYNLsec0001

Depending on where you live, speeding ticket fines can range from the puny to the punitive.

In July, Virginia began charging most speeders an additional $1,050 fine
on top of its usual $300, with drunken drivers there now facing an additional fine
of up to $2,250. Other heavy hitting states include Georgia, Illinois and North Carolina,
where maximum fines can hit $1,000, as well as New
York, Texas and New Jersey.

v v v v v

I guess I know where I stand with the parole
board. Yesterday at my hearing,
I told them the conventional wisdom was,
"If you love something, set it free." They added
five years to my sentence.

v v v v v

#1 New Year's Resolution is always to
   join a gym. But some gyms are a wee bit
   scarier than others, eh?

The Top 8 Reasons Not to Join That Gym

8> Clothing Optional Fridays.

7> The bottle with equipment "cleaner" seems to filled with Mazola.

6> The trainers uniforms consist only of padded jock strap,
padded sports bra and studded riding crop.

5> There are two locker rooms. One labeled "Unisex" the other
labeled "Bisex".

4> "Uh, can you come back in 20 minutes? All the staff are in
back on their smoke break."

3> The locker room has more glory holes than showers.

2> It's name "The Sweat Shoppe" doesn't seem so cute now you see
that the exercise bikes are all hooked up to textile machines.

and the Number 1 Reason Not to Join That Gym...

1> The gym is in a neighborhood so bad that you need to bring
your own front wheel for the Spin class.

v v v v v

   Click here: WorldStart Wallpaper
http://www.worldstart.com/wallpaper/index.php
More beautiful wallpaper

   Click here: Komando.com, Website for The Kim Komando
Radio Show®, Komando Downloads
Ready to race? This is a driving game with a lot of action.
If you remember the classic game Spy Hunter, you'll feel right at home.
Highway Pursuit puts you into a virtual high-tech car equipped with enough
gadgets for James Bond. You outrun your opponents as they try to run you
off the road. You'll depend on more than driving skills. Your car can lay down
oil slicks, smoke screens and gunfire. The graphics are a
bit retro but the game is fun, and free!

   Click here: Haute Secure - Blocking drive-by malware downloads | ZDNet Photo Gallery
http://ct.zdnet.com/clicks?t=39273646-806f0115a755e77dbd661609f3a0db00-bf&s=5&fs=0
Haute Secure, an anti-malware start-up founded by four former Microsoft employees, is
using a new browser toolbar to block drive-by exploits from compromising Windows computers.
The idea is to fit behavior-based profiling algorithms into an Internet Explorer toolbar to
identify and intercept malicious files in real-time. The tool is currently available as a free
beta download from the Haute Secure Web site. In this gallery, we take a look at the
installation and use of Haute Secure on IE 7 (Windows Vista).

v v v v v

NO-RISE BUTTER ROLLS

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
1 cup shortening
1 cup milk
1/2 cup warm water
1 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast
1 teaspoon white sugar
2 eggs
1/2 cup white sugar
2 teaspoons salt
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 tablespoon butter, softened

DIRECTIONS:
Melt and cool the shortening and milk. Dissolve the yeast
and 1 teaspoon of the sugar in the warm water. Beat the eggs,
1/2 cup sugar and salt together. Combine the milk mixture,
yeast mixture and egg mixture. Sift the flour and baking
powder together and add to the wet mixture. Stir until
combined then cover and refrigerate overnight. Divide dough
into fourths and roll out on a floured surface. Spread top
surface of the rolled out dough with the soft butter. Cut
triangles (pie piece shaped) pieces and roll up from larger
to small end. Place rolls on a baking sheet and allow to
rolls to rise for 3 to 4 hours. Bake rolls in a preheated
400 degree oven for 5 to 8 minutes.

Yield: 32

v v v v v

v v v v v

Yesterday I went to the optician's, walked up to the counter and said
to the guy on duty, "I think my eyes are going."

He said, "They've gone mate - this is Burger King."

v v v v v

The Top 9 Home Improvements Parents Are Most Eager to See

9> Padded walls for parents' bedroom.

8> Soundproof bathroom with timer on door lock.

7> Internal security cameras, remote controlled lockdowns, motion
sensors, etc. It's bedtime, dammit!

6> A large gerbil wheel hooked up to a generator to harness some
of that toddler energy.

5> Refrigerator of endless food and drink.

4> Large alligator-filled moat around daughter's bedroom window.

3> Relocation program to prevent grown children from moving back
in.

2> Ether vents to ease that colicky kid's naptime.

and the Number 1 Home Improvement
   Parents Are Most Eager to See...

1> Pneumatic tube system to eject dirty diapers outside.

v v v v v

v v v v v

*submitted by*
BADVETTE87

The preacher's Sunday sermon was,"Forgive Your Enemies." He asked, how
many of the congregation have forgiven their enemies? About half held
up their hands. He then repeated his question. Now about 80 percent held
up their hands. He then repeated his question. All responded, except one
elderly lady. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any."

"Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-three." she replied.

"Mrs. Jones, please come down in front
and tell the congregation how a person cannot have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle and said,
"I out lived those bitches. "

v v v v v

The Top 8 Signs You’ve Had Too Many Hospital
Vending Machine Meals

8> Whenever you take a day off, hospital administration raises
the price on soft drinks by half just to compensate.

7> At a unit pot luck, someone asks for your recipe and you tell
them to "Melt an A-7 and drizzle it over a fresh slice of C-9."

6> You cover a day shift and are confused when everyone else goes
in the "IN" door to the cafeteria.

5> You caught yourself sticking patient files in the microwave
for 60 seconds.

4> Your name appears as a separate item on the hospital's income statement.

3> You have more diarrhea than 95% of your patients.

2> In your low-blood sugar confusion, you tried to hit C-12, and
the cafeteria cashier hit you back.

   and the Number 1 Sign You’ve Had Too
Many Hospital Vending Machine Meals...

1> You just tried to put a dollar into the EKG machine, and were
shocked when it didn't work.

v v v v v



   Click here: The Official SuperSync Web Site
http://supersync.com/
At home. At work. On the laptop. On your iPod. If you're like most people, your music
follows you wherever you go. But what happens when you want to play a song on your
computer, only to discover that it's stored on a different machine?
SuperSync acts as your music collection’s central hub, retrieving, organizing, and
syncing up all of the different files across your machines for one consistent, complete
library. With SuperSync's built-in client/server software, you'll be able to instantly
retrieve a song you left on your laptop, play a song from your home computer while
you're at the office, or copy your entire music library on to a new computer.

Deezer | Music on demand, free music without download!
http://www.deezer.com/
You can listen to any song for free.I know what you’re thinking. Deezer must be illegal,
right? Wrong. Deezer has worked out a deal to let you listen to the music legally.You
can’t download the music to your computer or music player. But,
you can link to it on your blog or Web site!

*submitted by*
DeVulcano
Fifties, sixties, seventies jukebox music players
http://worriersanonymous.org/Music///Fiftysetc/Rockandrollera.htm

v v v v v

Two old men were sipping brandies in their gentleman's club
when they spotted an elderly man in the corner one of them
vaguely recognized.

"I say", said the first, "Isn't that the Pope over there?"

"I really don't know," came the reply. "Why don't you go and ask him?"

"Good idea." So he made his way over to the elderly gentleman in the corner.

"Excuse me, sir", he asked, "but are you the Pope?"

"Fuck off and die, dickhead!" replied the elderly man irritably.

Taken aback, the club member returned to his friend.

"What did he say?" he asked.

"He said, ‘fuck off and die, dickhead!’"

"Damn. Now we'll never know if he was the Pope."

v v v v v

Quotes From Sports Commentators

Pat Glenn - Weightlifting Commentator, "This is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing."

Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a
lovely horse, I once rode her mother."

Murray Walker, "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for
the one behind it which is identical."

Greg Norman, "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother
and father."

Alan Minter, "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in
boxing - but none of them serious."

Terry Venables, "If history repeats itself, I should think
we can expect the same thing again"

Ron Atkinson, "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it - you can see it all over their faces."

Harry Carpenter - BBC TV Boat Race 1977, "Ah, isn't that
nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the
cox of the Oxford crew."

Metro Radio, "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've
got eleven Dicks on the field."

David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics: "There goes Juantorena
down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."

US TV Commentator, "One of the reasons Arnie [Arnold Palmer]
is playing so well is that, before each tee-shot, his wife
takes out his balls and kisses them, oh my God, what have
I just said?"


   v v v v v



*borrowed from*
shinyhappyhead.com
Long goodbyes
http://www.shinyhappyhead.com/Files/sayinggoodbye_martin.wmv
I love this clip!! You *have* to see it

http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1736.html
Here!

So much for safe sex
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1737.html
Here!

He's about to have a BAD BAD day!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1739.html
Here!

Death row...
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1740.html
Here!

Stale Mate...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200406/058.htm
Here

...it just looks soft.
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1601.html
Here!

I'll put the seats back on!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1602.html
Here!

Find out how he's hung!
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1603.html
Here!

Jehovah's Witness Protection Program
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1604.html
Here!

'This Old Basement'
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1605.html
Here!

v v v v v

Rockin' and Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty, expressed or implied, with regard
to featured products or services. Results may vary based on operating
systems and other variables beyond our control

v v v v v

Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the making! So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place

but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to

keep on rockin'
it's a state of mind

v v v v v

©1999 - 2007 - Deborah Austin - All rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'

v v v v v

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