Rockin' and Rollin'

Editor: DebsSweet
Graphic Editors:   Guysbabi, Ditziexx, LuvintheCountry,
CrispySue, kittykab
Children's Book Editor: Amanda260
Internet Security Editor: DebsSweet

WOW

I have the best webmaster EVER. Not only did he make all of the hyperlinks active
in the last issue but he's been trying to help me find an old version of AOL that will work
with my computer. Unfortunately I have Vista (which I love) and AOL 6.0
doesn't work correctly with it --- which I have told you before. Damn.

ANYWAY, we are still working on this - so sorry for the inconvenince. I sure
hope you know how to copy and paste!!

Planning on performing a reinstall on your system? Before you do that, check out
what you should do first in the COMPUTER TIPS section.

RECALL on Hondas! Find this info where you see the COP graphic!

Be careful when surfing the Internet. I have checked EACH link submitted to you and they are in working
order as of this posting. Always be aware of the risks out there and keep current with your
anti-virus and adware removal software!

If you would like to SIGN UP or BE REMOVED (sure, remove yourself, break my heart
and force me into therapy for life) from this mailing list, please send an email
to me, deb@debsnewsletter.com and your request will be handled promptly.

Kick up your feet and put your problems behind you cause darlin' it's time to ROCK AND ROLL!

and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts, cause it's going to be a wild ride!

"Miss New Jersey is claiming that someone has embarrassing photos
of her and is trying to blackmail her. Apparently, the embarrassing
photos show her in a sash that reads, 'New Jersey'"

Conan O'Brien

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NOTE FROM JILL:

Demi Moore spent more than $400,000 on surgery
   to make herself look younger and doesn't
   understand why she can't a decent role. Hmmmm...

   The Top 10 Signs You've Had Too Much Plastic Surgery

10> That's not cleavage, it's your butt lift gone bad.

9> Cher, Michael Jackson, Dolly Parton, and Joan Rivers stage an intervention.

8> Your nose is so narrow you open letters with it.

7> It's not because you've had 3 noses, 4 eyes, and seven pairs
of lips, it's the storing of the old parts in your ass that
make people call you Mr. Potato Head.

6> Your breasts keep peeking out over your turtleneck.

5> The saying "ear-to-ear grin" actually applies to you.

4> You are required by law to have pasties on your earlobes.

3> Your goatee is invested with pubic lice.

2> During a hot make-out session you moan "higher...higher!"

and the Number 1 Sign You've Had Too Much Plastic Surgery...

1> Barbie will biodegrade before you do.

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PASTA SALAD WITH FRUIT

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
8 ounces shell macaroni, uncooked
8 ounces plain lowfat yogurt
1/4 can frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed
15 ounce canned mandarin oranges, drained
1 cup red seedless grapes
1 cup seedless white grapes
1 cored, diced red apple
1/2 cup celery, sliced
1/2 cup walnut halves
lettuce, for garnish
strawberry, for garnish

DIRECTIONS:
Cook pasta according to package directions. Chill in cold
water and drain well. Blend orange juice concentrate and
yogurt well. Toss mixture with remaining ingredients and
pasta. Cover and chill thoroughly. Serve on a bed of lettuce.
Garnish with fresh strawberries.

Yield: 8 Servings
Nutrition (per serving): 258 calories, Saturated fat 1 g,
Total Fat 6 g (20% of calories) Protein 7 g (11% of calories)
Carbohydrates 44 g (69% of calories) Cholesterol 2 mg Sodium
34 mg Fiber 2 g Iron 1 mg Vitamin A 588 IU Vitamin C 32 mg

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Cleaning Up Before a Reinstall

Sometimes removing a program and reinstalling it isn't
sufficient. The problems may persist; and in some cases, pieces
of the old program get left behind, even if the uninstaller tells
you that it got everything.

If you believe that remnants of an old program are hampering your
attempts to get it to reinstall correctly, try this:

1.   Use Add or Remove Programs to remove the program.

2.   Even if the uninstaller tells you that it got
everything, choose Start, Run, type regedit, and pressEnter.

3.   Inside the Registry Editor, search for the name of the
program by choosing Edit, Find.

Make sure all three boxes -- Keys, Values, and Data -- are
checked. You might not be able to find the precise program
name, but you may be able to find something similar to it,
or possibly the manufacturer's name.

4.   Keep searching (use the F3 key or the Find Next button)
until you find a major entry for the program.
Usually you can find a major entry for the program itself,
as opposed to minor entries for certain kinds of documents
or filename extensions.

5.   If you find an entry that seems to include lots of
settings for the program, right-click it and choose Export.

6.   Use the Export Registry File dialog box to put the
contents of this key on your desktop.
Give the exported Registry key a filename that you can
remember and click Save.

7.   In the Registry Editor, click this key and press Delete.

Doing so removes all the old information about the entry
from your computer -- and may help knock loose whatever was
preventing the reinstallation from working correctly.

8. Reinstall the program that's been giving you problems.

You'll probably insert a CD or double-click a downloaded file.

Chances are very good that going through the additional step
of scouring the Registry to remove all the old, potentially
bad settings makes the program work right.

9.   If the reinstalled version of the program still doesn't
work, double-click the Registry key on your desktop to
put the Registry back the way you found it.

That doesn't fix the problem. But it does mean any changes
you made to the Registry are undone.

Techniques For Dummies, 2nd Edition
[ http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesTitle/product
Cd-0764578839.html?cid=etipBookLink ],
by Woody Leonhard.

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Top Ten Little-Known Facts About Barack Obama

10. As as child, was taunted with "Obama's so fat jokes"

9. After finishing Harvard law, served as Doug Llewelyn's understudy
on "The People's Court"

8. Follows Bush's weekly radio address DJ-ing the "Barack and Roll
Power Hour"

7. Real last name: Obamawitz

6. At Senate hearings, throws on his iPod whenever John Kerry has
the floor

5. Played Kenickie in the Senate production of "Grease"

4. Makes immigration speeches as hilarious, uninformed foreigner
"Borat Obama"

3. Even Donald Trump can't think of anything nasty to say about him

2. Presides over Congressional Committee to lower Al Gore's body fat

1. Only running for president to piss off Hillary

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"Anyone get caught in the blackout last night?

Good news.

They traced the source of the blackout to Donald Trump's hair dryer"

David Letterman

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"Paris Hilton hysteria is starting to die down. I spotted her at
LAX wearing a dark wig and a straw hat. She went to Maui. Which is
nice because ever since Don died, Hawaii's been looking for a new 'Ho'"

Jimmy Kimmel

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Cell Phone Fashion ~ Tech News Watch
http://www.lockergnome.com/nexus/news/2003/01/30/cell-phone-fashion/
The German electronics giant Siemens has come out with a new line of “cell phone
accessories” for people who like to decorate themselves with overdesigned
phones. In the announcement, George Appling, President of XELIBRI, the
division of Siemens responsible for this travesty, said, “We envisage the scenario where
people will own many fashion accessory phones and wear the one that matches their
mood, the occasion, or their attire.” Translation: There’s a sucker born every
minute — we think our customers will buy several cell phones if we try
to pawn them off as “fashion accessories.”

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"Two movies opened a while back, the cartoon "Ratatouille," and Michael
Moore?s "Sicko." Two very different movies: One is about a big
rat who's obsessed with food, always getting into trouble, and
the other one is 'Ratatouille'"

Craig Ferguson

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I wanted to write about something weighty and significant today,
but when I saw this story I knew I had my opening column. China
has just opened the world's largest public toilet.

The story, from the denverpost.com, opens, "They're flush with
pride in a southwestern Chinese city." Now that's clever journalism.

The towering, four-story edifice boasts over 1,000 toilets and
all the modern luxury and conveniences. "We are spread- ing
toilet culture," said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the tourist
area where the bathroom is located. "People can listen to gentle
music and watch TV. After they use the bathroom they will be very,
very happy."

And if a little light music or television doesn't satisfy your
elimination needs you can avail yourself of some of the novelty toilets.

Some urinals are uniquely shaped, including ones inside open
crocodile mouths and several that are topped by the bust of a
woman resembling the Virgin Mary.

If you're not in the mood for blasphemy you can always use the
open-aired stalls without a roof...if the weather is right, of course.

"Other bathrooms are all the same," said one satisfied
tourist. "This one is very special, I've never seen anything like it!"

v v v v v

Hey, Neighbor - washingtonpost.com
http://letters.washingtonpost.com/W3RH02D772621B8C4E87F3007BEDD0
On Italy's Amalfi Coast, Making Friends Is Easy
When You Become One Of the Villagers

Costa Rica's Sea World - washingtonpost.com
http://letters.washingtonpost.com/W3RH02D77275CB8C4E87F3007BEDD0
Costa Rica's coastline touches the Pacific and Caribbean, yet its shallow waters
are hardly teeming aquariums. "Snorkeling is not off the beaches like in Belize," says
Orlando Burgos, the Costa Rican owner of Costa Rica Travel Guide
(877-786-6826, _http://www.costaricatravelguide.com/_ (http://www.costaricatravelguide.com/) ),
which specializes in Latin America. "You need to journey a little bit." Burgos adds
that while many of the country's resorts have beach access and snorkeling, the
best marine life requires a drive or boat ride.
Some of the best snorkeling, for example, rests inside national parks.

Budget Travel Online - It's a Baby!
http://budgettravelonline.com/bt-dyn/content/article/2007/04/03/AR2007040301154.html
?referrer=email&referrer=email&referrer=email&referrer=email
Speedy red river hog triplets, a 95-pound baby rhino, and an Asian elephant named
Mac, who loves splashing in his pool, are a few of the animals spotlighted in our
ridiculously cute new feature. Want to know where to spot an okapi? Or how to bypass
long lines for a glimpse of panda cub Mei Lan? Click on the heads at this site for
fun facts, tips for planning a zoo visit, and plenty of photos.

Travel Blog @ National Geographic Traveler
http://ngtnimbus.nimbussoftware.com/traveler/extras/blog/blog0702_2.html#chocolate
Unusual chocolate products from different areas of the globe
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Travel search engine
Everything About Tourism is a travel directory for travel websites and
travel links worldwide
http://www.everything-about-tourism.com/
A search engine on travel, travel websites and travel links worldwide

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There's a religious group that goes door-to-door selling
cosmetics. They call themselves the Jo-joba's witnesses.

v v v v v

"I don't care what your hobby is before puberty hits, because as
soon as it does, nature assigns you a new one. Let's just say that
when I was 14 I was treated for tennis elbow, and I didn't even
own a racquet. I wasn't exactly subtle about my self-discovery
either. I had tiki torches all around my bed, a poster of Farrah
Fawcett on my ceiling and a spring-loaded tissue dispenser on my
nightstand while I worked my own crank like it was the gearshift on
a Volkswagen bus that I was trying to rock out of a mud hole. Ah,
the good old days--last Thursday.

You know, there was a time when men dreaded getting old because they
knew it would rob them of their sexual power. But thanks to modern
medicine, couples are having sex well into their 70s and 80s, to the
point where you can now buy edible panties fortified with calcium.

I guess like all things in this era of unfettered capitalism,
science and technology have turned human sexuality into yet another
profit center. Between penile lengthening, Viagra and boob jobs,
doctors are nailing up shingles to get in on all the nailing going
on. You've got guys who haven't even been to medical school setting
up shop in a kiosk on a traffic island on Sunset Boulevard who'll
inject chicken fat into your dick for $20 at a red light. Or $10,
if you've got the Entertainment '99 coupon book.

Hey, civilizations come and go, but the one constant throughout the
ages has been and always will be the orgasm. Rich man, poor man,
beggar man, thief--I don't care what your social strata is. When
that climax lightning bolt comes roaring down your loins, there's
only one thing on your mind: why in the hell is everybody else on
this bus starin' at me?

Dennis Miller

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I can hardly wait for that famous
bicycle race this year. You know the
one, the Tour de Who Gives a Shit.
(John "Schmitty" Schmidt)

Who knew all thos forged notes from "Mom"
would end up preparing me for my career?
Then again, who knew I'd be lucky enough to
work for a moron boss who'd fall for my fake
"must masturbate 7 times a day" prescription?
(Flotsam)

I discovered via scientific experiment
that my cold nipples were not, in fact,
hard enough to cut glass. I also learned
the cop standing outside of my window
was not a scientifically minded fellow.
(Kimberly Ciesiolka)

I can't believe those jerks over at Webster
refused to add the term "ambidickstrous"
to their dictionary, despite my providing
ample footage demonstrating its meaning.
(Mark D. Sabien)

We aren't all that different, the Reverend
Ted Haggard and I. We both have faith in
a higher power, try to do good each day
and have openly announced we're sinners.
One difference, though: He likes blowing dudes
and I just have a weakness for shoplifting
from the candy aisle at Family Dollar.
(Sib Mandrake)

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Ever been in a New York City cab? On a hot day like this, kind of a
dilemma: Do you roll up the windows to keep the air conditioning in,
or do you roll them down to air out the driver?

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If Sex Was Sold In A Grocery Store

1. Men would do a much better job of searching for and clipping coupons.

2. Hookers would be renamed "Special Stock Girls."

3. If you ever were not "prepared," you could always go to Aisle 8.

4. There'd be confusion over Trix on Aisle 3 and "Tricks" on Aisle 10.

5. Clean up on Aisle 10 would take on a whole new meaning.

6. Same with the phrase "Freshness Dating."

7. Same with "Buy One, Get One Free."

8. No one would want to win the One Millionth Shopper award.

9. Paper or Plastic or Rubber?

10. However, as usual, some men would still be in the Express Lane.

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Shrek the Third Royal Tournament - Hillshire Farm® Presents Hostess With The Mostest
http://shrek.aol.com/games/index.php?gid=21&?ncid=AOLSHK00050000000001
It's probably for kids - so you might want to share it!

Kewlbox - Flavor Shot - free online and downloadable games

http://www.kewlbox.com/games/gameDetail.aspx?gameID=200&utm_campaign=kewlbox_2007-5b_newsletter&utm_medium=kewlbox_weekly_newsletter&ut
m_source=email_newsletter&utm_content=en_primary1
Use your straw shooter to fire flavor bubbles into your drink. Create clusters of
three or more like-flavored bubbles to earn points. Don’t let the bubbles get
down to the blue line, otherwise your flavor-making days are over.

Komando.com, Website for The Kim Komando Radio Show®, Komando Downloads
http://www.komando.com/downloads/category.aspx?id=3323
Yahtzee is a classic dice game. Many of us grew up playing it
on family game night. It is always a blast!
Well, now you can play Yahtzee on your computer. This free version
of the game will work on a number of different operating systems.
Open Yahtzee is very addictive. But there are a few drawbacks. First, it is a
single-player game. If you want to play with other people,
you'll have to compare high scores.

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   I've was very sick, so I went to the doctor.
After three months of treatment, I was even worse, so I
changed doctors. It turns out that the first
   doctor was not only a quack, but I'm allergic to ducks.

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The Top 15 Signs Your Favorite Baseball Team Has Given Up

15> Most of the stadium seating has been leased to scientists
developing a better Slinky.

14> Every time the crowd does "the wave," the players respond with
"the finger."

13> Backs of the uniforms are embroidered with "Ask Me About
Amway."

12> The on-deck circle is now equipped with a Sega.

11> After the first pitch, every player argues with the ump until
he's thrown out of the game.

10> The pitcher now takes the mound dressed like Stevie Nicks.

9> The outfielders jog into position more slowly than ever, now
that each is carrying his own lawn chair.

8> The manager allows his fielders to use their cell phones
during pitching changes.

7> Play is temporarily suspended to allow the batter in the
on-deck circle to finish his ice cream cone.

6> Too dejected to spit, they simply drool onto the dugout floor.

5> For a pinch runner, the manager sends in the winner of the
sausage race.

4> Mike Piazza starts leaving after the fifth inning every Thursday
so he doesn't miss "Will and Grace."

3> The equipment manager starts wholesaling Sammy's bats to
Robert Mondavi.

2> The announcer says, "Catching and batting fourth,
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmme!"

   and Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign Your
Favorite Baseball Team Has Given Up...

1> The catcher's down to just two signs: "whatever" and "I don't
give a rat's ass."

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*submitted by*
pavanco1@earthlink.net

Honda Civics Recalled, Wheel Bearing May Fail
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/recalls04/2007/honda_civic2.html

American Honda Motor Co. is recalling more than 180,000 Honda Civic coupes
(http://www.consumeraffairs.com/recalls04/2007/honda_civic2.html#) and sedans
from the 2006-07 model years because their rear wheel (http://www.consumeraffairs.
com/recalls04/2007/honda_civic2.html#) bearings may fail.

Honda told regulators at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration that
an improperly assembled O-ring on a wheel speed sensor (http://www.consumeraffairs.
com/recalls04/2007/honda_civic2.html#) housing allows water and
road salt to reach the wheel bearing.

As a result, over time the bearing can loosen, overheat and fail.
Wheels (http://www.consumeraffairs.com/recalls04/2007/honda_civic2.html#)
came off of two Civics sold to Canadian consumers, according to
documents filed with NHTSA.

Dealers will inspect wheel speed sensors and bearings and replace
those that are damaged, according to NHTSA.
Honda also notified NHTSA that lubricant from the telescoping mechanism of
the steering column of some Civics may cause brake light (http://www.consumeraffairs.
com/recalls04/2007/honda_civic2.html#) switches to fail.
Dealers will install new brake light switches with protective coverings in about 20,000 Civic sedans
(http://www.consumeraffairs.com/recalls04/2007/honda_civic2.html#)
and Civic Hybrids built for the 2006 model year.

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CHICKEN KIEV

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
4 large chicken breasts
4 tablespoons butter
4 cloves fresh garlic (crushed)
4 teaspoons lemon juice
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
2 cups bread crumbs
1 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon salt
a couple of dashes of dried parsley
toothpicks

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Pound your chicken until
it is the same thickness through out the breast. Place
some butter, the garlic, lemon juice and parsley in the
center. Roll chicken up tight and seal it with tooth picks.
Mix eggs and milk until smooth. Mix the bread crumbs,
salt, pepper, and garlic together. Dip chicken on the milk/
egg mixture, and roll it in the bread crumbs. Bake 15-20
minutes or until they are golden brown and firm to the
touch. Pull out toothpicks and serve.

YIELD: 4 servings

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*submitted by*
sammy562@msn.com
All I Do Is Dream
http://www.angelfire.com/ab/Tisa2U/Dreams.html

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The little boy who had been playing in the back yard all morning
came through the kitchen door and said to his mother, "Who am I?"

His mother thoutht she was supposed to play some kind of guessing
game and said, "Oh, I think you must be Tarzan."

"I guess Mrs. Wilson was right, he said. "She said I was so dirty
that my own mother wouldn't recognize me."

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   The Top 7 Questions on a Pet Supermarket Job Application

7> A customer comes up to you and says "Yoo-Kah-NOO-Bah." She is:
(a) asking for a designer dog food
(b) a rogue angry Swede
(c) tripping her nipples off on crank

6> Do you have a sense of smell? Would you mind losing it?

5> Are you willing to put your fingers in hamster cheeks to
retrieve items at the check-out register?

4> Which of the following is a food product we sell:
   (a) Rodent Raisins
   (b) Dog Biscuits
   (c) Horse Apples

3> A customer selects a breeding pair of rabbits. The same
customer then inquires about recipe books. Quick: What's your response?

2> When a customer's dog starts humping your leg do you:
(a) Smile and gently push him off
(b) Let him continue because it's the most action you've had
in a decade
(c) Punt him into the piranha tank

and the Number 1 Question on a Pet
Supermarket Job Application...

1> You're not the kind of clown who's gonna test the litter
absorbency, are ya?

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Laptop USB Connections

Do you use a laptop as your main computer? If so, do you ever get tired of the small
keyboard that comes with it or do you struggle with the touchpad mouse? I know both
of those things have really hindered my laptop experience. That is, until I found out
there was a way to work around all of that and now, I couldn't be happier with my
laptop! Want to know how you can do that too? Well,
keep reading to find out. This one's so cool!

First of all, this tip is for those of you who have a newer laptop with USB ports. If
you have an older laptop with other port options, this will not work for you. Okay, so
the good news is that even though you have a laptop, you can still use a regular
(PS/2) keyboard, mouse, etc. with it! Most keyboards and mice come with a PS/2 port
connector, which obviously will not fit into a USB port. So, all you have to do is
get a cable that has one PS/2 end and one USB end. You then just plug the USB
side into your laptop and put the PS/2 end of your mouse or keyboard into the other side.

Once you've done that, you will have a bigger keyboard and mouse to use while you work
on your laptop! There are also cables like this for printers and a few other devices. But,
if you're only looking for a keyboard and mouse, there are some cables that have
both of those all in one package. You can find these
cables at any regular computer store, like Best Buy or Radio Shack, for example. So,
if you're not ready to go with a wireless keyboard or mouse just yet, give this a try. It's
the perfect solution to bring your regular computer comfort to your laptop too.

Erin
worldstart.com

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As my wife watched in horror while I perpetrated
what had to be the worst diaper change in history
of mankind, she swore she'd *never* let me do
another one. Woo-hoo! Mission accomplished!

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The Top 15 Republican Election '08 Bumper Stickers

15> Who do you want on your side in a fight, Bono or Nugent?

14> We're NOT gay!

13> GOP: Gets your whites whiter.

12> Stay the curse!

11> Join the GOP! There's plenty of room in the closet.

10> We have a VERY wide stance.

9> Vote for us or we'll shoot you in the face.

8> One more time? LOL!

7> Vote Cheney for Supreme Overlord.

6> It's Dem or U.S.

5> Knockers on Mt. Rushmore? I don't THINK so!

4> I'd rather be waterboarding.

3> The *new* GOP: Now 97% less smug!

2> Every time you vote Democrat, Jesus cries.

and Topfive.com's Number 1
Republican Election '08 Bumper Sticker...

1> Glory, glory-hole-allujah!

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--==++   TopFive's News Headlines   ++==--

* Idaho Gays Standing Behind Senator Craig

* Britain Observes 10th Anniversary of Dodi Fayed's Death

* Lifetime of Pain and Disappointment Vented in eBay Feedback

* Bush Spokesman Resigns on Condition of Anonymity

* New Record! Email Sent Containing 19 Different Fonts

* Andy Dick's Agent Knows Exactly How Owen Wilson Feels

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You know you're on a diet when cat food commercials make you hungry.

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Can you really open a locked car door with a tennis ball? - Autoblog
http://www.autoblog.com/2007/07/12/can-you-really-open-a-locked-door-with-a-tennis-ball/
Here's a video that answers the question

Car Rental Companies - Rental Car Chains with New England Outlets
http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/yW/O4&sdn=gonewengland&cdn=travel&tm=18&gps=10
0_101_1176_850&f=00&su=p531.31.152.ip_p284.8.150.ip_&tt=0&bt=1&bts=1&zu=
http%3A//gonewengland.about.com/library/blrentalcars.htm

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My kid loves fishing, but he's squeamish, so when the
   local sporting goods store offered a special on the automatic
   bait machine, I thought it'd be great for
   fishing trips. My wife must've thought so, too,
   considering how loudly she screamed when I told her
I was bringing home a fifty-dollar hooker for our son.

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The Top 15 Democrat Election '08 Bumper Stickers

15> Sure, we'll mop up the mess.

14> Our turn! C'mon! Our turn!

13> Edwards/Obama/Clinton: the Middle-Aged Mod Squad!

12> We couldn't POSSIBLY do any worse!

11> Them: underage pages. Us: adult interns. Who's perverse?

10> Klaatu Barack Obama: He comes in peace.

9> Stop the inanity!

8> Not your father's moron candidate.

7> Presidential-scandal-free for nearly 7 years.

6> Don't look here -- the joke is in the White House.

5> It's NUKE-lee-ur, dumbass!

4> Do you want Howard Dean to yell at you again?

3> Stop global warring.

2> This time, nothing can go worng!

and Topfive.com's Number 1
   Democrat Election '08 Bumper Stickers...

1> Elect the cast of "Survivor: D.C."

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APPLE AND RAISIN SLAW

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
5 cups coarsely chopped red cabbage (about 1/2 medium head)
5 cups coarsely chopped green cabbage (about 1/2 medium head)
1 cup coarsely grated carrots (about 2 medium)
1 large tart green apple (such as Granny Smith), cored,
coarsely chopped
1/2 cup raisins
1/2 cup raw unsalted sunflower seeds, toasted
1 1/2 cups plain nonfat yogurt
1/2 cup chopped fresh dill or 3 tablespoons dried dill weed
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar

DIRECTIONS:
Combine cabbages, carrots, apple, raisins and sunflower seeds
in very large bowl. Whisk yogurt, dill, vegetable oil and
vinegar in medium bowl to blend. Add dressing to cabbage mixture
and toss to coat. Season to taste with salt and pepper. (Can be
prepared 3 hours ahead. Cover and refrigerate.)

Yield: 12 Servings

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PC World - PC World Downloads - SpyCatcher Express
http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,64949-order,1-page,1/description.html
This freebie scans your system for spyware, and offers live protection to keep you from getting infected.
This freebie scans your system for spyware, and removes what it finds. Better is that it also
offers live protection, so that it stops spyware from infecting your PC in the first place. When
you first run it, it does a system scan to check for spyware, and delete it if it finds any. After
that, you configure it by setting your level of protection, as well as deciding when to do
automated scans. SpyCatcher Express will also automatically download new anti-spyware
signatures automatically, so that you always have up-to-date protection. In addition, it
includes a variety of other tools, such as a System Explorer, which offers a detailed list of all the
applications running on your system, as well as ActiveX components, and Internet Explorer
plug-in. It also lists all the programs that run on startup.

PC World - PC World Downloads - a-Squared HiJackFree
http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,64948-order,1-page,1/description.html
A free way to scan your system and kill malware, particularly good for advanced users.
No matter how much anti-spyware protection you've got on your PC, it's not
enough. Spyware is notorious for being able to slip through the cracks of anti-malware
software, and you're best off if you have more than one anti-malware tool on your PC.
That's where this freebie comes in. Use it as a backup to your
main anti-spyware program for extra protection.

PC World - PC World Downloads - Vista Firewall Control
http://www.pcworld.com/downloads/file/fid,64950-order,1-page,1/description.html
If you want true outbound firewall protection, use this instead of Windows Vista's built-in firewall.
Microsoft has been touting the new Windows Firewall in Windows Vista, which it says
for the first time includes an outbound filter as well as an inbound filter. Outbound
filters are important, because if you've been infected with a Trojan or similar software, it
makes an outbound connection without your knowledge, letting someone else take control
of your PC. Some malware can also turn your PC into a spam-spewing robot,
sending out email without your knowledge.

PC World - 15 Great Free Utilities You've Never Heard Of
http://www.pcworld.com/article/id,130721-page,1-c,freeware/article.html
Browsing the Web makes your life an open book. Web sites can track your online
activities, know what operating system and browser you're running, find out your
machine name, uncover the last sites you've visited, examine your history list, delve into
your cache, examine your IP address, and use it to learn basic information about you
such as your geographic location--and more as well. How to protect yourself? Use Tor,
which protects your anonymity as you surf and use the Internet. With Tor, all your
communications (not just Web surfing, but also instant messaging and other applications)
are in essence bounced around a giant network of Tor servers called "onion routers,"
until it's impossible for sites or people to be able to track your activities.

v v v v v

"I was stopped once for going fifty-three in a thirty-five mile
zone, but I told them I had dyslexia

v v v v v

v v v v v

"Next week, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton will work a
shift as a nurse at a Las Vegas hospital. You thought your doctor's
hands were cold. And since she has no training or experience in
the nursing field, she will only tend to patients on HMOs"

Jay Leno

v v v v v

Scientists have said they may have figured out a way to travel
through time. For years now I've known of a potion that can let
you travel through time..it's called tequila.

v v v v v

Family Songs - Songs For and About Families
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5Dlp
Songs with themes about families is something we all can relate to. For what is life
without these important people around us? People to whom we can show our
genuine selves and still be loved. Here are several links to song
resources with "family" as the theme.

Linkin Park - What I've Done
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5Dlt
Linkin Park (http://top40.about.com/od/l/p/linkinpark.htm) are back and are in full
rocking mode. Hip hop elements are absent in this lead single from the Minutes to
Midnight album. Vocals are less rugged featuring primarily Chester Bennington. The
resulting sound is a stripped down, powerful, elemental rock band. Concerns about
the demise of rock_(http://classicrock.about.com/b/a/257560.htm) seem a
bit premature when listening to this instant smash.

Old Time Music - What is Old Time Music Background and History
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5Dlw
Old Time Music has been enjoying a bit of a resurgence in the last few years.
Popular groups on the scene include the all-women Uncle Earl (http://folkmusic.about.
com/od/artistsaz/p/UncleEarl.htm) , as well as a slew of artists from
the Northwest, such as Foghorn Stringband (http://folkmusic.about.com/od/artist
saj/p/FoghornStrings.htm), the Tallboys Stringband, and British Columbia's Outlaw
Social. Classic old time artists include Doc Watson (http://
folkmusic.about.com/od/artistsaz/p/DocWatson.htm) and, more classically,
Clarence Watson, Tommy Jarrell, and Charlie Poole.

v v v v v

One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a
horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge.

He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket,
trying to act as if nothing had happened.

The blacksmith noticed and asked with a grin, "Kind of hot,
wasn't it?"

"Nope," answered the cowboy through clenched teeth, "it just
doesn't take me long to look at a horseshoe"

v v v v v

"Scientists in China say they have found a dolphin they previously
thought was extinct. Scientists say the dolphin is rare, beautiful,
and delicious with hot mustard sauce."

Conan O'Brien

v v v v v

v v v v v

Parents can be very upset when their children don't get into the
college of their choice. As an admissions counselor for a state
university, I took a call from an irate mother who was demanding
to know why her daughter had been turned down.

Avoiding any mention of the transcript full of D's, I explained that
her daughter just wasn't as "competitive" as the admitted class.
"Why doesn't she try anther school for a year and then
transfer?" I suggested.

"Another school!" exclaimed the Mother. "Have you seen her grades?"

v v v v v

When you were a little kid remember how hard it was to get a
cookie? Way in the back, unless your mom was really mean - then
they'd be on top of the refrigerator. Nowhere on a package of
Oreos does it say, 'Keep out of reach of small children.' Where's
the Liquid Drano? Under the sink, right next to the rest of the poisons.

v v v v v

*submitted by*
Granny B 132
MY ONLINE FRIEND
http://www.smplysoft.com/online.html

v v v v v

I'll bet if a nun wanted to dress up for Halloween,
she'd be told "fine, but don't make it a habit.

v v v v v

"Leona Helmsley passed away a couple of weeks ago and left $12
million to her dog. Big deal. Trump is leaving $50 million to that
thing on his head."

Dave Letterman

v v v v v

Strip And Go Naked
2 Beer
12 oz. Vodka
12 oz. Lemonade
Mix well - serve over ice

College Fuck
6 oz. Vodka
To Taste Orange Juice
4 cubes Ice
1 bottle Snapple® (Kiwi Strawberry Flavor)
Just shove in a blender...it's the perfect cheap college student drink.
The author named it the "college fuck" because things
start to happen after just two of these.

v v v v v

"Dell computers is offering refunds for customers in China who sued
after getting the wrong microprocessors in their laptops. Apparently
the Americans speaking to the Chinese through their workers in
India somehow had some sort of miscommunication."

Jim Barach

v v v v v

Housewives aren't the only ones struggling in the suburbs.
One nursery in my town advertised, 'Desperate Houseplants- 25% off!'

v v v v v

After sixteen years of marriage and three children, my wife and
I have developed a streamlined method of communication. Let?s
face it, necessity is the driving force of nature, and parents?
quest for a bit of peace and quite requires the ability to be able
to make yourself understood with the slightest of gestures. A nod,
a wink, a sigh.

So my wife calls and leaves a cryptic message in my voicemail.
I immediately understand her question on all levels. I mentally
compute all ramifications of the possible decisions and choose a
course of action. I call her back.

Wife: "Hello."

Me: "Hello -- Umm, OK."

Wife: "OK?"

Me: "OK."

Wife: "OK. Bye."

Me: "Bye."

v v v v v

by deb

IF I Did It
Confessions of the Killer
with exclusive commentary by Goldman Family, etc

In 1994, Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson were brutally murdered at her home in
Brentwood, California. O. J. Simpson was tried for the crime in a case that captured
the attention of the American people, but was ultimately found not guilty of criminal
charges. The victims' families brought a civil case against Simpson, and he was
found liable for willfully and wrongfully causing the deaths of Ron and Nicole
by committing battery with malice and oppression.

In 2006, HarperCollins announced the publication of a book in which O. J. Simpson
told how he hypothetically would have committed the murders. In response to public
outrage that Simpson stood to profit from these crimes, HarperCollins canceled the
book. A Florida bankruptcy court awarded the rights to the Goldmans in August
2007 to partially satisfy the unpaid civil judgment, which has risen
to over $38 million with interest.

The Goldman family views this book as his confession, and has worked hard to
ensure that the public will read this book and learn the truth. This is the original
manuscript approved by O. J. Simpson, with up to 14,000 words
of key additional commentary.

The only reason I purchased this book (and another copy for one of my daughters) is because
some of the proceeds go to the Goldman Family and NONE to Simpson.

Interesting thing -- I could 'hear' OJ's voice as I read the book. I watched a tremendous amount
of the coverage of this case before and after the OJ 'trial'. He rambles - he rages - and
pretty much paints Nicole as a terrible person. Once I finished the book (which is a very fast read),
I felt such sadness for the Goldman and Brown Families and the same disgust I felt for OJ
so many years ago when he surely got away with murder. I don't see how you *can't*
read it.

v v v v v

It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

v v v v v

Top Ten Signs You've Chosen The Wrong College

10. Brochures read "As Advertised on 'Maury'"

9. Your school is in Pennsylvania. Your dorm is in Oklahoma

8. Cafeteria meals contain tainted Chinese dog food

7. Popular fraternity is "Sigma Alpha Danza"

6. Only paper a professor published was a letter in "Penthouse"

5. School's motto is: "Truth, Scholarship, Pudding"

4. "Homework" always seems to involve sewing running shoes in
a sweatshop

3. Tuition can be paid in Camel Cash

2. Most famous alum? David Letterman

1. Roommate keeps telling you how much nicer it is than the joint

v v v v v

v v v v v

"Here's a sure sign summer's over: They're putting up Christmas
decorations on 5th Avenue"

David Letterman

v v v v v

"At a political forum here in Hollywood last week, Hillary Clinton
said that she does not support gay marriage. In fact, she said she's
not too crazy about straight marriage anymore, either"

Jay Leno

v v v v v

Using Caution with Email Attachments

While email attachments are a popular and convenient way to send
documents, they are also a common source of viruses. Use caution when
opening attachments, even if they appear to have been sent by someone you know.

Why can email attachments be dangerous?

Some of the characteristics that make email attachments convenient and
popular are also the ones that make them a common tool for attackers:

* Email is easily circulated - Forwarding email is so simple that
viruses can quickly infect many machines. Most viruses don't even
require users to forward the email--they scan a users' computer
for email addresses and automatically send the infected message to
all of the addresses they find. Attackers take advantage of the
reality that most users will automatically trust and open any
message that comes from someone they know.

* Email programs try to address all users' needs - Almost any type
of file can be attached to an email message, so attackers have
more freedom with the types of viruses they can send.

* Email programs offer many "user-friendly" features - Some email
programs have the option to automatically download email
attachments, which immediately exposes your computer to any
viruses within the attachments.

What steps can you take to protect yourself and others in your address book?

* Be wary of unsolicited attachments, even from people you know -
Just because an email message looks like it came from your mom,
grandma, or boss doesn't mean that it did. Many viruses can
"spoof" the return address, making it look like the message came
from someone else. If you can, check with the person who
supposedly sent the message to make sure it's legitimate before
opening any attachments. This includes email messages that appear
to be from your ISP or software vendor and claim to include
patches or anti-virus software. ISPs and software vendors do not
send patches or software in email.

* Save and scan any attachments before opening them - If you have to
open an attachment before you can verify the source, take the
following steps:
1. Be sure the signatures in your anti-virus software are up to
date (see Understanding Anti-Virus Software for more information)

2. Save the file to your computer or a disk

3. Manually scan the file using your anti-virus software

4. Open the file

* Turn off the option to automatically download attachments - To
simplify the process of reading email, many email programs offer
the feature to automatically download attachments. Check your
settings to see if your software offers the option, and make sure
to disable it.
* Consider additional security practices - You may be able to filter
certain types of attachments through your email software (see
Reducing Spam) or a firewall (see Understanding Firewalls).

security-tips@us-cert.gov

v v v v v

Dunkin Donuts announced they're going to eliminate trans fats from
every item on their menu, even their donuts. Yeah, but don't
worry . . . most Dunkin Donuts customers have enough trans fat
stored in their ass to last a lifetime.

v v v v v

The only things in life that you can't avoid are
death and taxes. And an occasional pedestrian.

v v v v v

*submitted by*
GuffieBaby

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and
asked to buy a half head of lettuce.

The boy working in that department told him that they only sold
whole heads of lettuce.

   The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some butt-hole
wants to buy a half head of lettuce."

   As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so
he added, "And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

   Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself
out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their
feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir", the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Texas?", the manager asked.

   The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and football players down there."

"Really?", said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

"No shit?", replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

v v v v v

Martha Stewart - Bird's Nest Cookies_
http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.fc77a0dbc44dd1611e
3bf410b5900aa0/?vgnextoid=34b01a55b890f010VgnV
CM1000003d370a0aRCRD&rsc=also_try
These thin chocolate cookies with ganache icing dipped into grated coconut make the
perfect nests for two or three miniature chocolate eggs.

Martha Stewart - Lemon Tartlets with Meringue Caps
http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.fc77a0dbc44dd1611e3bf4
10b5900aa0/?vgnextoid=4fd2640093b0f010VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&rsc=also_try
Thin tuile cookies are baked, then folded into tartlet shells while still warm. Once cooled,
each ruffled cup is filled with vibrant, sweet lemon curd and
topped with a playful meringue curlicue.

Martha Stewart - Cherry Meringue Bites
http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.fc77a0dbc44dd1611e3bf4
10b5900aa0/?vgnextoid=c9c261876e70f010VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&rsc=also_try
The meringue shells (Steps one through four) can be made several days in advance and
stored in an airtight container at room temperature. When you're ready to assemble
the individual desserts, proceed to Step five.

v v v v v

The Top 8 Haikus About the Internet
(Part II)

8> IM promotes loss
of language skills? LOL!
No (IMHO).

7> Are repetitive
stress injuries from typing,
or pornography?

6> The message beckons;
File attachment causes crash.
Nymphos, you mock me.

5> Spam spam spam spam spam
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam.
Cheap ass mail filter.

4> Your YouTube antics
made you famous. Good luck with
that job interview.

3> My love, fresh and pure,
shyly reveals her true self:
A plumber named Ralph.

2> Wikipedia
just goes to prove it's true that
million monkeys type.

and the Number 1 Haiku About the Internet...

1> This site requires Flash.
Done. Now can I turn off the
webcam and zip up?

v v v v v

*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com
http://www.mentalfl <http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/8252>
oss.com/blogs/archives/8252
The college fight song quiz!

Paper Toys - Paper Cut-Outs - Custom Paper Models at PaperToys.com
http://www.papertoys.com/
At today’s Cool Site, you can make your own paper toys. There are cars, buildings
and airplanes. You simply print out a model and start putting it together.
This is a site that kids and adults alike will enjoy. I don’t know what’s more
fun—making the toys or playing with them! kkomando.com

Iconfinder - The best icon search engine
http://www.iconfinder.net/
Do you need a cool, simple graphic for your Web site? Or, something to spruce up a presentation or file?
In that case, try an icon. That's a stylized graphic. Icons are simple and clean. And they get your point across.
Creating an icon is more difficult than you might think. So you may not want to create your own.
I use Iconfinder to discover and download icons. Enter a search term. You’ll get a list of
available icons. You’re sure to find a good one.
The icons are in PNG format. They’re perfect for the Net or popular graphics
programs. But check the license information before you use an icon.

Poetry on the Psychiatric Ward
http://poetry.about.com/b/a/257446.htm
A couple of weeks ago, this site featured links and thoughts about poetry and healing:
“Poetry Cures Ills of the Heart, Mind and Body (http://poetry.about.com/b/a/257441.htm) .”
In response, Doug Holder sent in a copy of a piece he had written about his experiences
working with poetry groups on the psychiatric ward at McLean Hospital in
Massachusetts -- and when we asked to share his article with our readers, he graciously
consented. We welcome your comments, and we’d love to hear from more poets who
have brought poetry to out-of-the-ordinary audiences and environments.

Repeat for those who might have missed it:
Find Your Candidate for the 2008 Election – VAJoe.com – Where the Military Matters Most
http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html
Answer the questions below to find the 2008 presidential candidate that best
aligns with your beliefs. More than 350,000 people have already filled it out. Give it a try!
Mark the column for Yes if you support the issue and No if you oppose it. After that,
select how important the topic is to you. If you are unsure or have no opinion on a topic,
just mark the Unsure column. You will be scored based upon how well you match the
current views of each of the 2008 presidental candidates.
Click any topic for more information.

Helmsley Leaves Dog $12 Million in Will - AOL News
http://news.aol.com/story/ar/_a/helmsley-leaves-dog-12-
million-in-will/20070829060409990001

v v v v v

*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com

Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas .
In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I
reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen
of England.

The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both
legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold
medal in track and fie ld events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs". "Several years ago a
woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a
train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's
blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's
wanting to run for President"

v v v v v

Good Girls and Bad Girls

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

Good girls wax their floors
Bad girls wax their bikini line

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
Bad girls know they could do it better

Good girls wear white cotton panties
Bad girls don't wear any

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

Good girls pack their toothbrush
Bad girls pack their diaphragms

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

Good girls wear high heels to work
Bad girls wear high heels to bed

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

Good girls prefer the missionary position
Bad girls do too, but only for starters

Good girls say no
Bad girls say when?

Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed.
Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home.

v v v v v

Apple Macintosh iTunes - Backing Up Your iTunes Store Purchases
http://glclk.about.com/?zi=5/3dBL
If you purchase music from the iTunes Store, you may wish to back up your
songs to a CD or DVD for safekeeping. I need to do this myself!

Apple Macintosh iPod Freeware - Freeware iPod Utilities
http://glclk.about.com/?zi=5/3dBU
Looking for some freeware utilities for your iPod? Check out these
free applications to get the most from your iPod!

v v v v v

Two blondes were talking over coffee one morning
about men. Susan said, "I can't understand why
men are so afraid of commitment."

Debbie replied, "Tell me about it! I dated one guy
for a year and a half, and I finally had to give
him an ultimatum.

"What did you say?" Susan asked

"I just told him, 'Look, either you tell me your
last name, or it's over!'"

v v v v v

Modern Slang Explained

SITCOMs:
What yuppies turn into when they have children
and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids. Stands for: Single Income, Two Children,
Oppressive Mortgage.

STARTER MARRIAGE:
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce
with no kids, no property and no regrets.

SWIPED OUT
An ATM or credit card that has been
rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn
away from extensive use.

v v v v v

v v v v v

"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!"
the society matron protested. "Can't you find *some* way to cover
up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously
serviced by two paid studs?"

"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer,
"I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."

v v v v v

How To Ask A Man To Do Something
Always remember these five important rules when asking a man
to do something:

1. Make sure the man is conscious.

1a. Then give him a Blow Job

2. Crash the hard drive on his computer and line the bird cage
with the sports section.

3. Be brief! Limit your nagging harangue to two, three, or
four hours, max.

3b. Then ... give him a Blow Job

4. Reward him for cooperative behavior. A blow job will
usually do just fine. Or, offer to cook him something
that doesn't have a peel-back cover.

5. Punish him when he refuses to cooperate. Microwave his
remote on high power for 55 minutes. Rotate 1/4 turn, and
microwave again for another 35 minutes. Or, threaten to
not give him a blow job.

6. Use "would you" or "will you" instead of "you'd better" or
"do as I say and no one will get hurt".

7. When all else fails ... Blow Job.

OK...........seven rules.

v v v v v

Sugar Substitute Xylitol Can Be Life-Threatening for Pets
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5DM3

Xylitol is a sugar alcohol -- an artifical sweetener created from birch, raspberries, plums and
corn.1 This sweetener is found in many human "sugar free" products, such as gum, candies
and other sweets. In humans, high doses may have a mild laxitive
effect, but in dogs, ingestion could be fatal

Cleaning Your Bird's Cage
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5DLy
Cleaning your bird's cage can at first seem like a tedious chore. With so many bars,
cracks, and crevices to scrub, it can be hard for new bird owners to figure out where to start.
Setting and adhering to a cleaning schedule for your bird's cage is essential to keeping this
job as easy to handle as possible. Breaking the process down into simple tasks to be completed
daily, weekly, and monthly not only saves you time and energy, but ensures that your bird
always has a clean and comfortable cage to live in.

How Do I Clean a Dirty Fish Tank?
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/%5DLz
This might be helpful for those of you who keep fish as pets

v v v v v

The Top 8 Holiday Decorating Tips From Pets

   8> Add some red algae to the fish tank to get that Christmas
color scheme working.

   7> Just pile the ornaments on the floor; that's where they'll
wind up anyway.

   6> Paint one ball red and the other green.

   5> Spray, spray, spray, then turn on blacklights to make that
urine glow!

   4> Dropped lizard tails make great, colorful substitutes for
ho-hum plastic icicles.

   3> Though not brightly colored, bits of postal uniforms look
surprisingly festive on the tree.

   2> Nutmeg and cinnamon added to the water dish make the tree
smell more festive when marked.

   and the Number 1 Holiday Decorating Tip From Pets...

   1> No nativity scene is complete without a cat sleeping in the
manger with the Baby Jesus.

v v v v v

When I was a teenager, I thought necking was the most fun
you could have on a date. But that was
before I got old and discovered Metamucil wrestling.

v v v v v

Painting - Interior House Painting Tips
http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/1Ck/R0&sdn=compreviews&cdn=compute&tm=86&gps=
97_118_1193_850&f=00&su=p284.7.420.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3

A//makeover.about.com/od/quickdiyprojects/a/artpainttips.htm
Rules Guaranteed to Make Painting Go Faster and Cleaner
On your next inside painting project, religiously follow these simple rules and I
guarantee that you will save at least 2 hours. Here we go!

*submitted by*
ron_stott@yahoo.com

HINT 1

Bobby Pins

These are the greatest little tools to have in your purse.
They double as keys, paper clips, buttons, map holders and
much, much more. You shouldn't leave home without one....

HINT 2

Clear Nail Polish

Always keep a bottle of this in your purse along with
the bobby pins. This is not only great for our nails,
but it is also good for stopping those holes in our
stockings from running. Also if you have a tiny little
leak in your umbrella and your hair is getting wet,
cover the hole with nail polish and Wola! no more leak.
Nail polish is also good as emergency glue, like when
your eyeglasses or sunglasses break, or you loose the
tiny screw from the arm, paint on the polish and it
will hold until you can get them properly repaired.

v v v v v

*submitted by*
GuffieBaby

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman
from South Georgia arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars
($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."
With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled,
"Come on, Southern Girl needs new clothes!"

As the dice bounced and came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed "YES!
YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers...and then picked up her
winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of
them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."

Moral of the story:
Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But all men ... are men.

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Making a Garden - How to Start a New Garden
http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/1Hi/UO&sdn=makeover&cdn=homegarden&tm=17&
gps=31_566_1193_850&f=00&tt=29&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//make
over.about.com/od/yardgarden/ss/NewGarden.htm
You may have visions of drifts of color, wild flower prairies or bushels of tomatoes, but
get your feet wet first. For flower gardens, choose a site close to the door or with a good
view from a favorite window. Place your garden where you'll see and enjoy it often. This
will also motivate you to garden more. The front lawn shown here is small, but the homeowners
still found an attractive, sunny spot to add some color and curb appeal. No matter how busy
they are, they can enjoy their garden everytime they pull into their driveway
or look out their front window

Home Landscape Design
http://clk.about.com/?zi=18/1Hi/UP&sdn=makeover&cdn=homegarden&tm=53&gps=
102_616_1193_850&f=00&tt=29&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//make
over.about.com/od/yardgarden/tp/design_mistakes.htm
Success in home landscape design is certainly attainable for do-it-yourselfers, but
there are some pitfalls that should be avoided if maximum satisfaction is to be achieved.
Thus the need for this list of 10 mistakes to be avoided in home landscape design.
The mistakes covered range from miscalculations that have practical ramifications to more
subtle errors that negatively impact your enjoyment of your home landscape design.

Fall Flowers | Planting Fall Flowers
http://landscaping.about.com/cs/landscapecolor/a/fall_flowers.htm

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Fisher-Price recently announced a recall of dozens
   of its products made by a Chinese vendor, saying the
toys contain excessive amounts of lead in their paint.

The Top 25 Possibly Dangerous Toys

25> Mighty Morphine Powder Ranger Action Figures

24> My Lil' Pet Shop Neuter 'n' Spay Kit

23> Barrel of Monkeypox

22> Sedentary Sam Inaction Figure

21> General Electric's Bathtub Adventure Kit

20> PlaySkool AK-47 School Rampage Action Set With Trenchcoat

19> Easy Bake Tanning Bed

18> Waterford Crystal Pinata

17> Backyard Bungee!

16> Easy Bake Yellowcake Refiner Oven, Centrifuge and Cooling Tower

15> Educated Barbie

14> Lil' Gangsta Toothbrush Shiv

13> Rhoda the Exploda Doll

12> Tuff Girlz Razor-Wire Jump Rope

11> Little Kobayashi's Competitive Speed-Eating Training Kit

10> Pyrograph

9> Sicken Me Elmo Biowaste Adventure Set

8> Jaggedy Ann

7> Michael Vick's Fight-'em Smite-'em Doggies

6> GI Joe Ask 'n' Tell XXX-Bareback-Action Figure

5> Pee Wee's Pornhouse

4> Ruby Ridge Barbie's Dream Compound

3> Grungy Grungy Hypos

2> Rooftop Rangers' My First Parachute

and Topfive.com's Number 1 Possibly Dangerous Toy...

1> Mr. Grenade-o Head

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What is ROM?

(http://www.worldstart.com/tips/tips-pr.php/2236)
Alright, so a couple weeks ago, we talked about RAM (random access memory), but have you
ever wondered what ROM is? It's easy to get these two confused, but they
are very different. ROM stands for Read Only Memory.

Basically, ROM is the memory your computer uses to get the instructions it needs to boot
up every time you hit that power button. ROM goes to work even before all of your system's
software loads up completely. ROM also works closely with the BIOS (http://www.worldstart.com/
tips/tips.php/874) or Basic Input/Output System.

While ROM is mainly related to computers, it is also used in most electronic devices
like flash drives and various music players.

Erin
worldstart.com

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STUFFED MUSHROOM CHEDDAR BURGERS

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

INGREDIENTS:
1 1/2 pounds hamburger
1/4 cup finely diced onion
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 pound sliced mushrooms
6 slices cheddar cheese

DIRECTIONS:
Combine the hamburger, onion, salt and pepper. Mix well.
Saute mushrooms in butter until slightly browned and
softened. Form meat mixture into 12 patties, about a
quarter inch thick. Spoon about 1/6 of the mushrooms on
to half the patties. Top with cheese and second patty.
Seal around the edges, making sure that the patties are
good and solid. Place on preheated grill and cook for a
couple minutes per side will done. Serve immediately.

Yield: 6 burgers

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*submitted by*
DeVulcano

An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for
two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a
pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you?
I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished
man with grey hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the
Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the
girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I
can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge.

I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally,
if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beach front villa,
and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple
of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account.

If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there
is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly
on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You try again."

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Chew On That: Not For Diabetics Only
http://link.yourrecipefortoday.com/s/lt?id=s242856&si=
x142823417&pc=92021&ei=m121386
Now just because you are diabetic doesn't mean you cannot eat any of your favorite
foods anymore. You can pretty much have anything you like depending on what it
is, in moderation. And with all the healthy choices out there and Sugar-Free recipes to
choose from, as long as you read the ingredients and nutrition information,
you cannot go wrong. Read More Here.(http://link.yourrecipefortoday.com/s/lt?
id=s242856&si=x142823417&pc=k2023&ei=m121386)

CNN.com - Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women
http://www.murdzplace.com/CNN.htm
Women who perform the act of fellatio and swallow semen on a regular basis, one
to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent,
a North Carolina State University study found. Oh come on!!!

Trash Meds Safely - RealAge Tip of the Day
http://ramailer.realage.com/ct/click?q=ee-ZbkWQwDkH40rj9G0rgjnH1EI
How to dispose of old meds

All About YOU: Myth or Fact? It's Part of Normal Aging - RealAge Tip of the Day
http://ramailer.realage.com/ct/click?q=18-WhZzI98qBUkhwDLT6wKwqLIc
All About YOU: Myth or Fact? It's Part of Normal Aging
How can you tell the difference between normal age-related memory
loss and Alzheimer's? Here's a quick test.
Start with a seven-digit phone number. Say it out loud to the person you are testing.
After 5 minutes, tell them the phone number again, along with two others. Have them
pick out the original phone number you gave them 5 minutes ago

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The Top 8 "Must Haves" at a Celebrity Kid's Birthday Party

8> Emergency contact numbers for "Cake-Eaters Anonymous."

7> "Pin the Knife in the Paparazzi."

6> Who's That Estranged Parent Leaving Drunken Voice-Mails?

5> Perrier fountain for kids.

4> Goody bags filled with free counseling session coupons.

3> Posse of personal injury attorneys to protect those Spielberg brats.

2> Ball-pit of Golden Globes.

      and the Number 1 "Must Have" at a
Celebrity Kid's Birthday Party...

1> Bling-filled pinatas.

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*submitted by*
lots and lots of you
Know Jack Video
http://jack.zunino.net/knowjack.htm
Whi is Jack Schitt?

*submitted by*
GuysBabi
Daily Email Newsletter for the Funniest Videos, pictures, and jokes on the net
(http://www.funnieststuff.net/viewmovie.php?ad_key=RR
LOYMCWEFIE&tracking_id=793972&id=526)

*submitted by*
oldwild@juno.com
Video: Simpsons opening sequence, Star Wars-style | Geekend | TechRepublic.com
http://blogs.techrepublic.com.com/geekend/?p=878_ (http://blogs.t
echrepublic.com.com/geekend/?p=878)

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*submitted by*
oldwild@juno.com

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss,
concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically,
"What's the matter?"

To which the blonde replies....."Early this morning I got a phone call
saying that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl.
"Why don't you go home for the day.....we aren't terribly busy. Just take
the day off to relax and rest."

The blonde very calmly states......"No, I'd be better off here. I need to
keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here."
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual... "If you need
anything, just let me know."

Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He
looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!! He
rushes out to her, asking, "What's so bad now........are you gonna be ok??"

"No......" exclaims the blonde. "I just got a call from my sister. She
told me that HER mom died too!!"

v v v v v

*submitted by*
oldwild@juno.com

Signs You're At A Wedding in Tennessee

* The rehearsal dinner is held at Hooters.

* Instead of "friends of the bride or friends of the groom?", ushers ask
"Ford or Chevy?"

* Plans for the Honeymoon evening include tickets to the Monster Truck Show.
Snack trays and beverages at reception include vienna sausages (smoked,
of course), nacho cheese Doritos and grandma's own moonshine.

v v v v v

You want fries with that?
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1471.html
Here!

Smoke symbols?
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1472.html
Here!

Just how do you explain????
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1473.html
Here!

Change it to cocaine??
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1474.html
Here!

The next song....
http://www.aikenslaughs.com/adult/1475.html
Here!

End Of The Game
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/906.html
Here

Double Date?
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/907.html
Here

Flow Chart
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/908.html
Here

Bung Hole What?
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/909.html
Here

Dream Jobs
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/adult/910.html
Here

Bra Padding...
http://www.ezines4all.com/at200404/009.htm
Here

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Rockin' and Rollin' makes no endorsement or warranty, expressed or implied, with regard
to featured products or services. Results may vary based on operating
systems and other variables beyond our control

v v v v v

Another issue on it's way to YOU! and another one already in the making! So meet us back
here next week, same time - same place

but remember, no matter where you are or what you are doing,
never,
ever,
EVER
forget to

keep on rockin'
it's a state of mind

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©1999 - 2007 - Deborah Austin - All rights reserved and held by Rockin' and Rollin'

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