Welcome
to
Editor:
DebsSweet
Graphic Artists: GuysBabi, PmsZone,
SPerry8231
Childrens Book Editor: Amanda260
Book Editor: Teacher310
Internet Security Editor: KatieScarlett
Hey there! Miss me? I
missed you, and you and you!
Let's see what we have for you this
week:
Looking for a way to get your computer
to talk to you all the time? It's
easy, with Speak!
Speak! is a shareware application
that runs in the background on OS
X. When it's on, it speaks
every word you type in whatever voice
at whatever pitch you choose.
You'll
find this neat application in the
MAC section below!
Files live on your hard drive (even
after you empty the recycle bin) until
your computer writes
new data over that part --- Use a
free file to recover dated files!
Surf over to the DOWNLOADS
area for this.
So you say your last break up with
your ex-spouse, ex-lover was especially
bad?
Then be sure and surf over to the
CHECK IT OUT section for revenge!
AND if you think men who do
housework are sexy - then there's
something here for you to read!
Want the ultimate Windows download?
Look for the info in the WINDOWS
section below!
If you would like to SIGN UP or
BE REMOVED from this mailing list,
please send an email
to me, DebsSweet@aol.com and your
request will be handled promptly.
Be careful when surfing the Internet!
I have checked each link submitted
and they are in working
order as of this date. Always be aware
of the risks out there and keep current
with your
anti-virus software.
Kick up your feet and put your problems
behind you
cause darlin', it's time to ROCK
AND ROLL!
and don't forget to buckle your seatbelts,
cause it's going to be a wild ride!
"Just
want to tell you how great your newsletter
is"
lycalhoun@comcast.net
"You've got the best newsletter on
the web :)"
ColleenBokelman
1.
"Could you please put him on your
mailing list??? It is the best newsletter
around and he
agrees and feels the same way.
Thanking you, Mary"
patm@eastlink.ca
2.
"Hi again Deb: By all means
go right ahead I wouldn`t say this
if I didn`t
mean it!!! I make time just to read
all of it and have had so many laughs
and also at the same time have found
so many helpful hints. what
more is
there to say besides it is the BEST!!
Thanks so much"
patm@eastlink.ca
v
v v v v
Whenever
you feel anger, you should say, "May
I be free of this
anger!" This rarely works,
but talking to yourself in public
will
encourage others to leave you
alone.
v
v v v v
Ballistic
Biscuit
http://www.freearcade.com/Bbiscuit.flash/Bbiscuit.html
*submitted by*
Teacher310
Can
You Solve The Golden Dollar Puzzle?
http://www.usmint.gov/mint_programs/golden_dollar_coin/popPuzzle.cfm?flash=yes
Shockwavegames.de
- Balloons
http://www.shockwavegames.de/balloons.shtml
Ezone.com
- Bang for the Buck!
http://www.ezone.com/games/bangbuck/
Barwars
- another fabulous online game from
:)Smilie
http://www.smiliegames.com/barwars/index.php3
Angell's
Heaven presents BAP!
http://www.angells.com/fun/games/bap/
Bassteroids
- Free Flash Game
http://www.weaselcircus.com/games/bassteroids.shtml
Bean
Hunter - MiniClip.com
http://www.miniclip.com/bean.htm
Shockwave.com
http://www.shockwave.com/bin/landing/system_warning.jsp?id=blackhawk
Java
Blister Ball at One Love Stuff Multiball
Ponglike Game
http://onelovestuff.com/Java_Blister_B.html
Ezone.com
- Blingball!
http://www.ezone.com/games/blingball/
Blobs
- MiniClip.com
http://www.miniclip.com/blobs.htm
Shockwave.com
- BLiX
http://www.shockwave.com/sw/content/blix/blix.html
Play
Block 4 - the fabulous rotating falling
blocks game from :)Smilie
http://www.smiliegames.com/block4/index.php3
Buster
http://www.freearcade.com/Buster.jav/Buster_body.html
dailymegajoke
- Block Madness
http://www.dailymegajoke.com/games/blockmadness/
Bonus.com®
- Fun and Games - NetScooter™
http://www.bonus.com/
E!
Online - Fun&Games - Games - Boxing
O.J.
http://www.eonline.com/Fun/Games/Boxing/game.html
Java
Breakout at One Love Stuff Like the
Classic Arcade Game
http://onelovestuff.com/Java_Breakout.html
PlaySite
3.0
http://www.playsite.com/
I've played Hearts and Battleship
here -- people seem nicer
here than some other gaming sites
v
v v v v
"Hillary
Clinton is the junior senator from
the great state of New York.
When they swore her in, she used the
Clinton family Bible. You know, the
one with only seven commandments."
David
Letterman
v
v v v v
TechTV
| Free File: PC Inspector File Recovery
3.0
http://cgi.techtv.com/memberservices/newsletters?click=26981&release=3526
Pretend for a minute that you just
deleted an extremely important spreadsheet
instead
of that animated dancing monkey GIF
you've been spreading around the office.
First reaction
-- panic. Then your phone rings, the
boss wants to see your work in fifteen
minutes (and he's not talking
about the little monkey). Do you tell
the boss, take your lumps, and hope
you don't get fired? Hell no.
You download today's free file, PC
Inspector File Recovery and pull that
file from the brink of destruction.
*submitted by*
myrnadoman@comcast.net
AZZ
Cardfile software: Personal Information
Manager for Windows PC
http://www.azzcardfile.com/
AZZ Cardfile is Windows program that
helps manage any personal information
like addresses, phone numbers, references,
notes, recipes.
It can serve as personal
organizer, contact manager, address
book, rolodex, personal information
manager (PIM) or small database software.
Replaces Microsoft Cardfile.
Modern customizable
user interface, ease of use and extensive
features makes this information
management software equally suitable
for business office or home use
Download
H9kTimer, the FREE worldclock that
can show localtime, beats, time since
your computer was started, any timezone.
D
http://www.h9k.com/index.html
H9K TIMER provides 16 customizable
clocks, skins, and fonts with a
screen saver function and alarm feature.
It updates with connection to a
timeserver and is a free download
'
URL Remover ' in Internet > Web
Surfing > Clean Up Utilities folder
http://www.programfiles.com/Default.asp?LinkId=5769
URL Remover is a product which can
take control over the visited URL's
in the addressbar
of Microsoft Internet Explorer. In
the program you can select a URL and
remove it.
You can control your favorites too.
Just select a visited URL and click
'favorites'. You can
also search for a URL. So if you want
to delete a particular URL, you can
search for it and delete it.
If you start the program, the URLs
will automatically load from the registry.
If you delete a URL,
the program will remove it from the
regisry. The removal can also be done
by hand.
For Windows 95/98/NT
*submitted by*
APPMFRANCO@wmconnect.com
MailWasher
http://www.mailwasher.net/
Introducing MailWasher, the easiest
way to check and manage your e-mails
before you download them.
MailWasher is a powerful email checker
with effective spam elimination. Discover
the safe way to
stop unwanted viruses and e-mails
before they get to your computer.
No gimmicks here, it is so easy to
set up and use that you'll be managing
your email like a pro
in seconds. It can even be used as
an effective privacy tool.
I think you will find this to be the
easiest, most effective way to manage
your incoming e-mails.
You will be amazed at how quickly
you will like using MailWasher.
2. Shareware
downloads at WebAttack.com. Select
from the largest collection of free
Internet tools
http://www.webattack.com/shareware/shareware.html
v
v v v v
When I was young we used to go "skinny
dipping".
Nowadays I just "chunky dunk".
v
v v v v
A
man walks into his doctor's office
and sits down in
the waiting room. While he is waiting
his turn to be
seen, a casual acquaintance walks
in and sits down next to him.
The newcomer asks "Www what are yyy
you ddd doing here?"
The man replies, " I am waiting to
see the doctor."
"W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss
see hhim?"
The man replies, "Well, if you must
know, I have a prostate problem.
" A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's
ttthat?"
"Well, if you must know. I pee like
you talk."
v
v v v v
AOL
9.0 Optimized Is Here
Password Tip
Move or Back Up
Your Personal Filing Cabinet
AOL
9.0 Optimized Is Here
With
enhancements like better e-mail, smarter
spam filters, IM picture sharing,
plus more fun
ways to express yourself, you'll be
able to create the online world you
want.
It's AWESOME!
Upgrade to AOL 9.0 Optimized now
at AOL Keyword: Upgrade
Password
Tip
If
you have accidentally given out your
password or been the victim of an
online scam, you
should change your password right
away. Before you sign off, go to AOL
Keyword: Password
and
create a new password for your screen
name. At the same time, change the
passwords for any other screen names
on your account.
NOTE: AOL will NEVER
ask for your Password.
Move
or Back Up Your Personal Filing Cabinet
You
can back up your Personal Filing Cabinet
(PFC) and also move it from one computer
to
another by copying and transferring
the correct AOL file to disk or to
a different computer.
Notes:
1) If you do not know how to copy
and paste files, see the Computing
Channel's tips on copying files for
Windows and Mac users.
2) These files can exceed the 1.44
MB limitation of a traditional floppy,
depending on how much mail is stored
in the PFC.
AOL for Windows:
The file you want to copy is the (entire)
Organize Folder, which can be found
in your AOL Folder.
(Example: C:\America Online 5.0\Organize)
AOL for Mac:
The file you want to copy is the [your
screen name here] Filing Cabinet,
which can be found in the
following location: System Folder
> Preferences > America Online
> Data > [your screen name here]
Filing Cabinet.
Try
These Other AOL Features
New to AOL?
Take
a FREE AOL class at AOL Keyword:
New
Member Central.
AOL
9.0 Optimized is Here!
Download
now at AOL Keyword: Upgrade
Looking
for an Old Friend?
Find
old classmates
in
the AOL community
v
v v v v
What did one ovary say to the other
one?
"Did you order any furniture?"
"No. Why?", replied the other.
"Cause there's two nuts out there
trying to deliver an organ."
v
v v v v
Cool
Cuisine: Chinese Chicken Salad
Guess what: Chinese chicken salad,
like a number of dishes common
in American-Chinese restaurants, is
actually a Western invention.
Even so, it's a simple, classic, and
refreshing dish that
successfully combines Asian flavors
such as rice vinegar and
sesame oil with the Western penchant
for salads. Now, that's
fusion cuisine. To keep the salad
crisp and crunchy, be sure to
dress it right before serving.
Preparation time:
30 minutes
Cooking time:
7 to 8 minutes
Yield: 4 to 6
servings
1/3 cup rice vinegar
2 tablespoons
honey
2 teaspoons hot
pepper sauce or chile garlic sauce
2 teaspoons sesame
oil
1 teaspoon dry
mustard
1-1/2 cups shredded
iceberg lettuce
1 cup julienned
carrots
1/2 red onion,
julienned
1-1/2 cups shredded
cooked chicken
1 tablespoon toasted
sesame seeds
1. To make the dressing:
Mix the rice vinegar, honey, hot
pepper sauce,
sesame oil, and dry mustard in a bowl
and set aside.
2. Arrange the lettuce
on a serving plate. In a small
bowl, toss the
carrots, onion, and chicken with the
dressing. Place
on top of the lettuce. Sprinkle with
the toasted sesame
seeds.
Variation: Three cheers for flexible
recipes -- this one
included! If you like your dressing
richer and creamier, add 2
teaspoons chunky peanut butter and
1 tablespoon cooking oil to
the other dressing ingredients and
mix thoroughly.
Variation: To add some extra crunch
to the salad, deep-fry
1/4-inch strips of wonton skins in
350 degree oil for a couple
minutes until crisp and golden brown,
and sprinkle them liberally
over the top of the salad. If you
don't feel like firing up the
wok for deep-frying, just buy some
already prepared crispy
Chinese noodles -- available in the
Chinese food sections of most
grocery stores -- and sprinkle those
on instead. And, of course,
a sprightly garnish of cilantro leaves
can only improve the
overall picture.
*submitted by*
APPMFRANCO@wmconnect.com
allfood.com
http://allfood.com/
v
v v v v
How
to Prevent, or Reverse, Childhood
Obesity 8/13/03
http://www.mercola.com/2003/aug/13/childhood_obesity.htm
How
to Beat Mercury Poisoning 8/13/03
http://www.mercola.com/2003/aug/13/success_story.htm
Vaccine
Dangers & Risks: Learn What CDC
Documents and Science Really Reveal
http://www.mercola.com/forms/vaccine_video.htm
Craving
Clues
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/FQ%5D
usnews.com:
Health: Best hospitals 2003
http://www.usnews.com/usnews/nycu/health/hosptl/tophosp.htm
Heat
Stroke
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/FQa
Pain
Relievers - NSAID - May Help Stop
Breast Cancer
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/FQe
MSN
Health - Cancer Risk: It's a Girl
Thing
http://content.health.msn.com/content/article/12/1689_51508
Polypill
hope for heart attacks and strokes
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/FQf
Men's
Health - fitness, health issues, men's
conditions and more
http://menshealth.about.com/
v
v v v v
In
this age of safe sex the need for
condoms are a must but some
people still have a difficult time
buying them. Take my friend,
Joe. Our local store carries
condoms behind the counter and you
need to ask the salesperson to get
them.
So Joe went up to the salesperson,
but he was so nervous he could
only ask where the straws were.
So he bought the straws and left
only to have to come back to buy his
condoms.
Again Joe came into the store and
was still so nervous he could
only ask where the tweezers were,
so he bought a pair of tweezers and
left.
Joe once again had to go back and
buy his condoms. He went up
to
the salesperson and said, in a low
tone, "I need some condoms."
The salesperson rang up the sale and
said, "First you come in to
buy straws, then to buy tweezers,
and now to buy condoms. What
I
want to know is..... are you
going to suck it, pluck it, or fuck
it?"
v
v v v v
ULTIMATE
WINDOWS DOWNLOAD
You want it. This free file does everything
from reducing system bottlenecks
to making Internet Explorer more secure.
TechTV
| Free File: XP Smoker
http://cgi.techtv.com/memberservices/newsletters?click=26200&release=3447
Close Multiple Windows at Same
Time
See a great tip for easily shutting
down more than one open window at
the same time
Opening new programs and windows is
easy. But how many times have you
wished
there was an easier way to close open
programs and documents without having
to press
the little "x" in the upper-right
corner of every window?
Thankfully, there's an easier way,
using your old friend on your keyboard,
the control key.
Here's a tip for quickly closing
multiple windows at the same time:
* Hold down your Ctrl key.
* While holding your Ctrl key, single-click
every open program or document in
your system
tray. As you do this the programs
or documents in your system tray will
turn inwards as if they were maximized.
* Release the Ctrl key.
* Now, right-click any of the documents
or programs you just single-clicked
and choose "Close."
Greg
Melton
TechTV
v
v v v v
Every
man has a heart!
Just some never receive the instruction
manual
v
v v v v
Comebacks
For Why Aren't You Married
11. Because I don't like having a
50% chance of some day losing everything
that is important to me.
10. You haven't asked yet.
9. What? And spoil my great
sex life?
8. Just lucky, I guess.
7. I'm waiting until I get
to be your age.
6. I wouldn't want my parents
to drop dead from sheer happiness.
5. I guess it just goes to
prove that you can't trust those voodoo
doll rituals.
4. What? And lose all the money
I've invested in running personal
ads?
3. We really want to, but my
lover's husband just won't go for
it.
2. I don't want to have to
support another person on my paycheck.
1. Why aren't you thin?
v
v v v v
*submitted by*
KatieScarlett
SPAM! grrrrr!
BaddTeddy
Tutorials - How To Stop Receiving
Spam
http://www.baddteddy.com/tutorials/spam.html
v
v v v v
"The New England Journal of Medicine
reports that 9 out of 10
doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors
is an idiot."
Jay
Leno
"A bill allowing illegal immigrants
from anywhere in the world to
receive drivers licenses was passed
by the California state assembly.
And if you snuck in the country from
the Middle East, they'll not only
give you a drivers license, they'll
throw in a pilot's license, too."
Jay
Leno
"This week in Japan, Michael Jackson
announced his own line of
men's suits. Jackson said if the men's
line is successful, he'll go into
boys' pants."
Conan
O'Brien
"In Davis, CA, a man who used to perform
autopsies has been
arrested for taking home 157 pounds
of human body parts. Do
you know what his bail cost him? An
arm and a leg."
Jay
Leno
v v v v v
v
v v v v
*submitted by*
jrtopcop
A few moments after the daughter announced
her engagement,
her Father asked,
"Does this fellow have any money?"
The daughter shook her head sadly.
"Oh Daddy! You men are all alike."
Sighing deeply, she replied,
"That's exactly what he asked me about
you."
v v v v v
*submitted by*
Teacher310
A young couple got married and went
on their honeymoon.
When they got back, the bride immediately
called her mother. "Well," said
her mother,
"So how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, mama," she replied, "The honeymoon
was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly
she burst
out crying. "But, mama, as soon as
we returned, Sam started using the
most horrible language
-- things I'd never heard before!
I mean, all these awful 4-letter words!
You've got to take me home..., PLEASE
MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm
down! You need to
stay with your husband and work this
out. Now, tell me, what could be so
awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama,"
wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed,
they're just too awful! COME GET ME,
PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what
has you so upset. Tell your mother
these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh,
Mama..., he used words
like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes,"
said the mother.
v
v v v v
INDUSTRY GROUP PAYS CHILD'S RIAA FINE
Pick pirates more carefully, peer-to-peer
organization tells music labels.
PCWorld.com
- Industry Group Pays Child's RIAA
Fine
http://www.pcworld.com/news/article/0,aid,112436,tk,dn091203X,00.asp
CONSUMERS STRIKE BACK, SUE RIAA
'Deceptive' amnesty program puts participants
at risk, lawsuit claims.
PCWorld.com
- Consumers Strike Back, Sue RIAA
http://www.pcworld.com/news/article/0,aid,112428,tk,dn091203X,00.asp
TURN TRASH INTO TUNES
Turn your old PC into an MP3 jukebox.
TechTV
| MP3 Jukebox Software
http://cgi.techtv.com/memberservices/newsletters?click=26201&release=3447
v
v v v v
Q:
What's the difference between a boyfriend
and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.
v
v v v v
NAMES WITH OCCUPATIONS
Lawyer's daughter: Sue
Thief's son: Rob
Lawyer's son: Will
Doctor's son: Bill
Fisherman's daughter: Annette
Meteorologist's daughter: Haley
Steam shovel operator's son: Doug
Hair stylist's son: Bob
Homeopathic doctor's son: Herb
Justice of the peace's daughter: Mary
Sound stage technician's son: Mike
Hot-dog vendor's son: Frank
Gambler's daughter: Bette
Gambler's son: Chip
Exercise guru's son: Jim
Cattle thief's son: Russell
Painter's son: Art
Iron worker's son: Rusty
TV star's daughter: Emmy
Movie star's son: Oscar
Barber's son: Harry
v v v v v
Jack-in-the-Box
1/2 applejack brandy
1/2 pineapple juice
1 dash Angostura bitters
Shake.
Manhattan
2/3 rye whiskey
1/3 sweet vermouth
1 dash Angostura
Stir. Garnish with a cherry.
BLACKBERRY FIFTY SEVEN T BIRD
1 oz Vodka
1 oz Blackberry Schnapps
1 oz cherry mix
1/3 sweet sour mix
2/3 pineapple juice
Shake and serve with ice
APPLE KAMIHUZI
1 oz Tequila
1 oz Triple Sec
Fill with 2/3 sweet sour mix
1/3 apple juice
Shake and serve with ice.
v v v v v
Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened
to pull up beside his ex-wife at a traffic signal.
He shouted over, "So .. out looking for a little, huh?"
She smiled sweetly and said,"No, I had 6 years of that with you. Now, I'm out looking for a LOT!"
v v v v v
Mac Tip: Speak!
http://cgi.techtv.com/memberservices/newsletters?click=26970&release=3526
Teach your MAC to say what you type!
Looking for a way to get your computer to talk to you all the time? It's easy, with Speak!
Speak! is a shareware application that runs in the background on OS X. When it's on, it speaks
every word you type in whatever voice at whatever pitch you choose.
v v v v v
*submitted by*
Stevokc43
A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law.
While there his mother-in-law dies. They go to an undertaker who explains that they can ship the
body home but that it'll cost over $5000, whereas they
can bury her in the Holy Land for only $150.
The guy decides, "We'll ship her home."
The undertaker asks, "Are you sure? That's an awfully big expense and we can do a very nice burial here."
The guy says, "Look, 2000 years ago they buried a man here and three days
later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."
v v v v v
*submitted by*
DILESDI
v v v v v
A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave
during the middle of his message. The man returned just before the
conclusion of the service. Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone.
"I went to get a haircut," was the reply.
"But," said the pastor, "why didn´t you do that before the service?"
"Because," the gentleman said, "I didn´t need one then."
v v v v v
Tackling Powdery Mildew in the Garden
Powdery mildew is a grayish white, powdery fungus that infects
new leaves and flower buds, causing them to become distorted and
crinkled-looking. Unlike most other fungal diseases, powdery
mildew spreads on dry foliage. Many gardeners prevent the spread
of powdery mildew by watering overhead or sprinkling down each
day late in the afternoon, thus washing the spores off the leaves
before they can establish themselves. Other preventive measures
include planting resistant varieties, planting in full sun, and
pruning to encourage air circulation. Effective preventive sprays
include antitranspirants and neem oil (a botanical insecticide).
Triforine is one of several traditional chemical fungicides used
to control powdery mildew.
Baking soda (sodium bicarbonate) is a popular powdery mildew
remedy. Mix 1 rounded tablespoon of baking soda with 1 tablespoon
of summer oil (a type of horticultural oil) in a gallon of water.
Apply weekly to well-watered plants. Avoid damaging leaves by
applying in the early morning, and don't spray if the temperature
is above 85 degrees F.
~ ~
Now is the time to set up feeders so over-wintering birds
establish an eating pattern of coming to your yard. We've got lots
of good info on this. Check out general information on bird feeding basics
Bird Feeding
http://email.bhg.com/cgi-bin1/DM/y/adct0FcUfl0dj0FhHM0AF
Winter Bird-Watching
http://email.bhg.com/cgi-bin1/DM/y/adct0FcUfl0dj0FTvi0A8
Citrus Wreath
http://email.bhg.com/cgi-bin1/DM/y/adct0FcUfl0dj0FhHN0AG
Feast for the Birds
http://email.bhg.com/cgi-bin1/DM/y/adct0FcUfl0dj0FhHO0AH
Steps for Fool-Proof Repotting
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-457.html
Taking Care of Your Annuals
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-506.html
Savvygardener.com Update
http://savvygardener.c.tclk.net/maabsq9aa0zM4a5wlH0e/
v v v v v
Definition: BASTARD
A guy who makes love to a woman all night with a four inch dick, then
kisses her good-bye in the morning with a six inch tongue
v v v v v
Debsnewsletter - Archives
http://debsnewsletter.com/archives
v v v v v
Doug and Bill went out drinking one night and didn't
get home till the wee hours.
They see each other the next day at work and Bill
asks, "Did your wife have much to say when you got
home last night?"
Doug replies, "No, but that didn't keep her from
talking for two hours."
v v v v v
by Deb
First, Best and Only
by Barbara Delinsky
A tale of love and forgiveness by bestselling author Barbara Delinsky.
When she was just seventeen, Marni Lange loved Brian Webster with a
consuming passion. Then a tragic accident tore them apart. Brian's broken body mended,
but he never forgave himself for the accident that killed Marni's brother. Marni, her world equally
shattered, was forced to choose between honoring her powerful, wealthy family ... and the man she loved.
Now, fourteen years later, Marni is a successful businesswoman about to be profiled
by a world-famous photographer ... Brian Webster. Suddenly they find themselves
face-to-face with the past that has haunted them. As a teenager, Marni couldn't defy her family.
But now she's a formidable woman in her own right, willing to fight to hold on to what matters
most: her family, her legacy and a second chance at love.
This is a relatively short book and once again way too predictable as
to what the outcome will be - no real surprises either.
SKIP IT
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"Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a
way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and
you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. That's not love
I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail."
Jack Handey
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SITES OFFER A SNEAK PEEK AT NEW PDAS
Retailers share details about upcoming Toshiba, Palm devices.
PCWorld.com - Sites Offer a Sneak Peek at New PDAs
http://www.pcworld.com/news/article/0,aid,112440,tk,dn091203X,00.asp
Are you an All-Star? Play Top Down Baseball!
Top Down Baseball is as American as apple pie! Play pitcher and batter
for a quick three innings, or go for the whole nine. Easy-to-use
graphics and realistic sounds make this an easy choice for a quick baseball fix.
Click here to play Top Down Baseball, FREE
All-New Super Collapse II!
Fireworks have nothing on this puzzle game where each move could
bring you closer to total collapse! Match up colored bricks before
time runs out and your screen explodes. Try the free Web version of
Collapse or purchase and download your copy of Super Collapse II for
even more puzzles and game modes that you can play instantly, anytime.
Play FREE Collapse
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No other game delivers the spirit, atmosphere, and emotion of college
football like NCAA(R) Football 2004. Pre-order your copy today with
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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for
some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her,
placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly.
He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought
you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable asshole!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
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The Animal Rescue Site : Feed an Animal in Need
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/CTDSites.woa
Grounding the Joyous, Jumping Puppy
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-678.html
Everybody knows a jumper — a knock-you-over-when-you-come-in jumper,
a muddy-paws-on-the-couch jumper, and a counter cruiser (the puppy who likes to sniff
along counter tops). The first step in solving your problem is to understand how it became
a problem in the first place. As usual, your puppy's not to blame
The Humane Society of the United States
http://www.hsus.org/ace/352
How You Can Help
http://www.hsus.org/ace/12198
Plants Toxic to Animals, Introduction
http://www.library.uiuc.edu/vex/toxic/intro.htm
DVM - Home Page
http://www.library.uiuc.edu/vex/toxic/intro.htm
Vaccine debate, etc
Dummies::Bringing a New Adult Dog Home
http://www.dummies.com/WileyCDA/DummiesArticle/id-692.html
Remember the saying: "You never get a second chance to make a first impression"?
The idea works with dogs, too. No matter how happy you are to bring him home, no
matter how much you want to make up for the shabby way he was treated before
you got him, start him off right from the beginning. Decide what the house rules are and stick
to them, for the first couple of months, at least. Let him know that even though you're the
nicest person on earth and the best human he could ever hope to find, your
house does have rules, and he must follow them.
Be what dog trainer Carol Lea Benjamin calls a benevolent alpha — a nice boss,
but still a boss. Your dog will understand, respect, and love you for being his leader
— it's the way dogs are. If you're not in charge, your dog will be. No democracies here
*borrowed from*
http://etips.dummies.com
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Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"
Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband: "What? At 2 a.m?!"
Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."
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Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
California?Oregon? Switzerland? Most believe it originated in
Switzerland, and here's the real version.
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of
Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere
to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he
could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter came down from upstairs and
asked her father, "Who is that man going into the barn?"
"That's some fellow traveling through," said the farmer. "He needs a
place to stay for the night, so I said he could sleep in the barn."
The daughter said, "Perhaps he is hungry." So she prepared him a plate
of food and took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and
straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps
the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to
the barn, and she too did not return for an hour.
Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly and her hair
all messed up. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on
his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she
broke into tears. "How could he leave without even saying goodbye," she cried.
"We made such passionate love last night !"
"What ?" shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking
for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, " I'm going to get you ! You had sex
with my daughter ! "
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to
his mouth, and yelled out,
" LAIDTHEOLADEETOO "
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The Top 10 Least-Effective Motion Sickness Cures
10> Bring a book about motion sickness and read it whenever you
start to feel ill. Knowing is half the battle!
9> Sing "Ninety-Nine Bottles of Snot On the Wall" until
someone else pukes.
8> Keep eating to avoid the dry heaves.
7> Have a light lunch of sushi and oysters on the half shell with
lots of wasabi and wash it down with beer.
6> Eat a dozen raw eggs and watch any movie starring Ashton Kutcher.
5> Run around in circles really fast! Now the other way!
4> Close your eyes, put your head back, and without taking
a breath down a liter of Jose Cuervo.
3> Stick your finger down someone *else's* throat.
2> Sway with the motion of the ship. This probably won't work,
but you might get some companionship at the rail.
and the Number 1 Least-Effective Motion Sickness Cure...
1> Two words: Lard rubdown.
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Old Chinese Proverb:
Baseball is wrong!
Man with four balls cannot walk
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*sbmttd b*
Tchr310
According to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are,
the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Fcuknig amzanig huh?
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google.com
is five years old this month
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Tired of being rejected, the husband walked into the bedroom after the
wife went to bed. As he handed her two pills and told her, "Here, take these."
She asked, "What are these?" He told her, "They're aspirins."
"But," she said with a quizzical look, "I don't have a headache."
To which he replies, "Good, lets fuck."
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Why Should I Keep An Agenda Book?
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/Fte
Writing Fiction: A Beginner’s Guide, Part 5: Point of View and Narrative Voice
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/Fth
Practice Perfectly from your About Cheerleading Guide
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/Ftj
Making Friends or Reconnecting With Old Ones
http://slclk.about.com/?zi=1/Ftf
TechTV | Teens Take to Texting
http://cgi.techtv.com/memberservices/newsletters?click=29834&release=3833
TEENS TAKE TO TEXTING
It doesn't take a genius or industry study to tell us that, yes, cellphones
are everywhere. Adults mostly use their phones to make phone calls. That's
so yesterday! On "Tech Live" we show you how kids are using their phones.
If you're from Japan or Finland, texting is old-school. But if you're from
America, it's a sensation that's just beginning to take hold.
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As a new school Principal, Mr. Mitchell was checking over
his school on the first day. Passing the stockroom, he was
startled to see the door wide open and teachers bustling in
and out, carrying off books and supplies in preparation for
the arrival of students the next day.
The school where he had been a Principal the previous year
had used a check-out system only slightly less elaborate
than that at Fort Knox.
Cautiously, he asked the school's long time Secretary, "Do
you think it's wise to keep the stock room unlocked and to
let the teachers take things without requisitions?"
The Secretary looked at him gravely. "We trust them with
the children, don't we?"
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*submitted by*
Teacher310
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"Because a man is unfaithful to you is no reason to
leave him.
You should stay with him and make sure the rest of his
life is a living hell."
Roseanne Barr
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Ferrari
http://ferrari.com/cgi-bin/fworld.dll/ferrariworld/scripts/goferrari.jsp
Lamborghini Club America
http://www.google.com/url?sa=U&start=3&q=http://www.lamborghiniclub.com/&e=1102&mr=6,21_/9,_,7!a_U:bi_10000
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At his wedding reception, the young groom's grandad
congratulated his grandson and said: "The secret to enjoying a
long and happy marriage, is to listen to each other at all
times, respect each other's wishes and to try and have sex in
moderation. That way, your marriage will last as long as your
grandma's and mine has."
Thanking him for his advice, the grandson said: "What's sex
like then when you get older, granddad?"
His granddad looked at his grandson, smiled and said: "Just
like trying to play pool with a piece of rope!"
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The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.
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Old Chinese Proverb:
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot
v
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*submitted by*
ColleenBokelman
Lorena Bobbitt's sister Luella was arrested yesterday for an alleged
attempt to perform the same act on her husband as her famous sister had done several years ago.
Sources reveal the sister was not as accurate as Lorena.
She allegedly missed the target and stabbed her husband in the upper
thigh causing severe muscle and tendon damage. The husband is
reported to be in serious, but stable condition.
Luella has been charged with a Misdewiener.
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happy families: family home pages, quick recipes, family entertainment, humorous stories and photos of happy families
http://www.happyfamilies.com/
Happy Families - a humorous look at American family life - Welcome to a light-hearted look at American family life where
you can share your funny stories and family photos with other Americans everywhere.
Spread happiness! You'll discover lots of friendly interactive avenues to explore. Relax, take your time, be happy, and enjoy!
Possi's Contortion Site
http://www.possic.de/index.html
Oh my gawd!
The four word film review
http://www.fwfr.com/
The fwfr is a film review site like no other- an ever expanding collection of extremely
brief reviews and summaries of any film ever.
Submissions are welcomed from anyone- the only condition being no more
than four words may be used
INDUSTORIOUS CLOCK ||| MONO*CRAFTS
http://www.lares.dti.ne.jp/~yugo/storage/monocrafts_ver3/03/index.html
I run this link once in a while - : )
New York Underground @ nationalgeographic.com
http://www.nationalgeographic.com/nyunderground/
I found this to be interesting - strangely enough!
Warner Bros. Online : Site Map
http://www2.warnerbros.com/main/sitemap.html
Movies, television, kids etc
Forbes.com: The Forbes Fictional Fifteen
http://www.forbes.com/2002/09/13/400fictional.html
Ranking the Richest Characters In Fictional History
It's clear that we are a nation obsessed with the very rich. From avaricious caricatures like The Simpsons' Montgomery Burns
to literary character studies like F. Scott Fitzgerald's Jay Gatsby, our culture--both high and low--is littered with images
of billionaires and tycoons. Some characters are intentional riffs on real-life counterparts, most famously Orson Welles'
blistering portrayal of William Randolph Hearst in Citizen Kane. Visit the link below for the Forbes Fictional Fifteen Slide Show
*submitted by*
DILESDI
E-cards by Jacquie Lawson - www.jacquielawson.com
http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1070686118
One of my favorite e-card sites!
2. Lifes Riches
http://www.goodtimes2.com/riches.htm
A beautiful site with a message
*submitted by*
APPMFRANCO@wmconnect.com
Internet Infidelity - Cheating on the Net - Chatcheaters.com
http://www.chatcheaters.com/
A site for the victims of infidelity
2. Emode.com: Match Create Profile
http://www.emode.com/match/create/profile10.jsp?p=10
Online dating sure has caught on!
3. ARSE i Am
http://www.arseiam.com/
4. Smartmoney.com — Investing, Saving and Personal Finance
http://www.smartmoney.com/
*submitted by*
Gordirving
Go Worldwide with Gordon Irving
http://www.gkm.mcmail.com/
*submitted by*
Jabbrz
Campbell's Chunky
http://www.chunky.com/click_for_cans.asp
NFL and Chunky soul are tackling hunger - see how your NFL team ranks!
*submitted by*
jrtopcop
http://www.top-greetings.com/A.py?R=20030917,10G9
http://www.top-greetings.com/A.py?R=20030917,10G9
Ever wondere